


Servitium Incusabantur

by Fessst



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Corporal Punishment, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Master/Slave, Mentor Severus Snape, No Slash, Non-Sexual Slavery, Original Character(s), Powerful Harry, Slave Harry, Spanking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2019-11-18 02:04:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 77,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18111026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fessst/pseuds/Fessst
Summary: Harry is having a hard time coping with Sirius's death when he is hit with an enslavement spell binding him to none other than his hated Potions Professor. The two will have to overcome their mutual dislike if they are to survive each other and the war. Set at the beginning of the 6th Year. Slavefic and Mentorfic, No slash, Warning: corporal punishment in a form of spanking, language.





	1. We have a problem, Potter!

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: This work has been also posted on FF.net
> 
> English is not my native language, so please be lenient. If you feel like something doesn't sound English, it's probably because it isn't;D (grammar reviews are not entirely unwelcomed, though willingness to beta-read would be preferred)
> 
> Warning: The story will contain scenes of corporal punishment, so if such things offend you, I suggest you stop reading here.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Harry was on the way to the dungeons feeling angry and extremely frustrated. Dumbledore wanted him to continue those bloody Occlumency lessons with Snape! He explained him loud and clear, that they were achieving nothing, that Snape only used the time to torture and belittle him, that there was no point anymore because Sirius… A single tear fell on Harry's cheek and he wiped it away with his fist angrily as his mind lingered on the memory of his Godfather.  _What's the point now? Sirius is gone because Snape couldn't be bothered enough to actually teach me to resist Voldemort. Because I was stupid enough to fall for the trap. Because Sirius cared enough to go and rescue me. Because Bellatrix was…_  His anger flared anew at the thought of the wicked Death Eater, that took away the only parental figure Harry has had in his life. He reached dungeons in a worked up state and wondered how is he going to endure the hated Potions Professor, or rather DADA Professor now.

"Don't just stand there! Get in Potter, before I take points for stalling," came Snape's voice from inside the office and Harry clenched his fist as he opened the door. Snape was sitting at his desk, a pile of summer assignments to grade in front of him. The red ink from his quill covering about as much space on the paper he was grading, as the student's answers themselves. Harry knew those sarcastic remarks in red ink from his own tests all too well and felt sympathy for the unlucky student to be on the receiving end of Snape's notorious "comment-lashing".

The man raised his head to look at Harry. "Take a seat, Potter, and be quiet. I need to finish my work. Headmaster might think that I have nothing better to do than to waste my time with you, but I assure you, Potter, it is not so! I'm not one of your fans anxious to get a glimpse and spend some time with our hero!"

Harry almost smiled at that. Ever since he arrived to Hogwarts a couple of days ago, everyone was tip-toeing around him. He was permanently on edge, lashing out at Ron and Hermione regularly, just to be treated to pitiful understanding looks from them. Instead of feeling guilty about losing his temper, he felt even more angry and just tried to avoid his friends altogether. The professors treated him no differently, summoning him after class to extend the time for his work to be delivered, offering "to talk" and giving him sad smiles. And even Dumbledore completely ignored his disrespect, when Harry said, that him resuming Occlumency lessons with Snape was "not fucking happening". And here he was - scolded by the man himself before their lesson even started, simply for mere existence. It felt almost refreshing that at least one person remained completely unaffected by Harry's loss and treated him the same as always. Horribly, but the same. Harry sat down on the nearby chair and waited for Snape to finish grading.

"Potter, don't just sit there! Start clearing your mind, get into mindset! Perhaps this year you can show more effort in occluding YOUR mind rather than snooping around mine!" Snape barked without looking at him.

"Perhaps this year you can actually TEACH me how, instead of just yelling at me all the time! Not like I want to be here either!" Harry replied hotly, his temper rising.

Snape stood up sharply smashing the paper he was grading on the desk with a loud thump. "Potter, your insolence won't be tolerated! One would think that after what happened in the Department of Mysteries, you would understand the importance of shielding your mind!" Snape saw Harry's face change from defiant to defeated and felt the slight tinge of sympathy for the boy. Everyone kept telling him to be "gentle" around Harry because the boy just lost his Godfather. Snape didn't feel the need to pamper the brat, because Dark Lord won't take a break and wait for Potter to pull himself together, either. But he didn't like the uncharacteristic broken look that appeared on Potter's face.

Before Snape could say anything else, the alarm broke off in his office. A small light on the wall was blinking and an unpleasant low-pitched hum accompanied it. Harry didn't know what the sound was, but seeing the alarmed look on Snape's face, he knew something was wrong.

"What's that?" he asked jumping up from his seat.

"Security breach," Snape replied as he stood up, the grading forgotten. He glanced at the light taking a mental note that the breach was on the Quidditch pitch.

"Death Eaters?"

"Probably," Snape answered deep in thought, then he looked at Harry, his face growing very serious, "Stay here Potter, and I mean it! Don't you dare set foot out of this office!" and with that, he promptly left the office. It took Harry the whole 30 seconds to make up his mind and follow him. If Death Eaters are attacking Hogwarts, then he is not going to hide, he will fight! There will be no more deaths on his account!

* * *

#-&-HP-&-#

Snape rushed outside as he heard the sound of spells and the screams coming from the stadium. There was a scheduled Ravenclaw Quidditch practice and when he approached the field he saw a couple of students stunned on the ground, one of them yelling in agony under the Cruciatus Curse. The wicked laugh of Bellatrix Lestrange was ringing through the stadium as the remaining Ravenclaw players tried to flee in horror. Bellatrix was accompanied by two low ranked Death Eaters Severus has recognized from the last meeting.

Snape approached the trio. "What is the meaning of this?" he asked his expression carefully masked as a mild annoyance, as opposed to the utter horror he was actually feeling when he saw the students on the ground.

"Oh Sev, we were just having a bit of fun," Bellatrix intoned with a teasing smile, then she noticed that her pray used the disturbance to run away, and cast another Crucio on him. The 15-year-old Ravenclaw seeker fell to the ground with a heart-wrenching scream. Lestrange was smiling with satisfaction as she watched the boy's body convulse in agony. Snape looked at the scene with faked amusement. He could not contradict Bellatrix openly, so he focused his attention on the two Death Eaters that accompanied her.

"This is all very amusing, but you are jeopardizing my position here. You set off the alarm, the old fool will be here any minute accompanied by other teachers. I can't be seen with you here, why did you come?" he inquired, trying to appear unaffected by the screaming boy.

"We were just testing the wards," one of the Death Eaters replied. The Ravenclaw seeker lost his consciousness from the pain of Crucio and Bellatrix snorted in annoyance at having her fun ruined prematurely by the boy's weak body.

"Idiots!" Snape snapped making sure he was addressing the men and not Bellatrix, "You tested it and now Dumbledore will make sure to strengthen them. Dark Lord will be very displeased with you!" he scolded the two men using one of his best glares reserved for disobedient students. He knew that Bellatrix held a special position in Voldemort's ranks. In her utter insanity, she even enjoyed the punishments from her Master, much to Voldemort's delight, therefore there was no use threatening her with anything. "Get the hell out of here, and I will try to clean up the mess you have created," he ordered waving a hand at the men dismissively, his tone leaving no room for discussion. He outranked them greatly and he knew, he will be obeyed. The two men cast him a sheepish look and apparated right away.

Bellatrix smiled at Snape. "Oh Severus you are so uptight, you need to loosen up a bit," she told him and then gave another one of her wicked laughs that sent chills down Snape's spine. Then she looked behind him and her face twisted in an evil grin.

"Bellatrix!" Harry yelled as he entered the Quidditch pitch. Snape turned to see, who was stupid enough to call attention to himself and couldn't mask the rage he felt from being so blatantly disobeyed. Leave it to the Gryffindor idiot to rush headless into action without any regard for the consequences. And the timing couldn't be worse! Just as he almost managed to get rid of the Death Eaters without any casualties and without endangering his position as a spy, Potter joined the game to ruin it all. And how is he supposed to save Potter from Bellatrix without making his true allegiances known? They were two experienced Death Eaters against one 16-year-old Potter, by all means, they should capture him and bring him to the Dark Lord, anything else will be deemed unacceptable.

"Avada Kedavra!" Harry roared pointing his wand at the witch, but not a single spark escaped from it. Harry looked at his wand in confusion.  _Why didn't it work? I did mean it! I want her dead! I will avenge Sirius!_

Bellatrix laughed loudly. "Naughty, naughty Potter! Casting Unforgivables without even knowing how. Now that's embarrassing!" she mocked him. "But don't worry, the Dark Lord might teach you! And I know just the spell to make you compliant." She raised her wand at Harry and hissed, "Servitium Incusabantur!"

Snape felt his blood turn cold as he recognized the vicious incantation. There was no time to think, no time to plan, he did the only thing that he could at that point.

"Avada Kedavra!"

Severus watched Bellatrix's lifeless body fall to the ground, look of surprise at Snape's betrayal imprinted on her face. Snape wasted no time examining her body, he had no doubt that HIS killing curse was successful. He rushed towards Potter, who was knocked to the ground unconscious. He heard McGonagall and Flitwick yelling something at the distance as he shook the boy by his shoulders, "Potter! Potter! Can you hear me?!"

Harry opened his eyes with a groan to see a concerned face of the Potions Professor and replied, "Yes, Master."

Snape closed his eyes as the realization of what happened washed over him. "We have a problem, Potter!"

* * *

#-&-HP-&-#

"Out of all the stupid stunts you have pulled over the years, Potter, this one takes the cake!" Severus was pacing in Dumbledore's office his anger flaring as he berated the boy. Harry sunk in his chair and wisely kept his mouth shut, his head was hurting badly and he was unable to think of any smart comeback. He found it hard to meet Snape's gaze, so he kept his eyes on his lap.

"Severus, perhaps you could explain, what actually happened?" Dumbledore asked in a calm manner.

"What happened? Exactly, what I told you will happen if you keep letting the boy run around as he pleases without consequences!" Snape raged pointing a finger at Dumbledore, "He blatantly disobeyed my order to remain in my office and flung himself at the mercy of the Death Eaters compromising MY position in the process! The imbecile -" he leveled Harry with an angry glare, "- attempted to cast the killing curse at Lestrange and got hit by her enslavement spell!"

Harry watched Dumbledore's expression change to a very alarmed one. Harry furrowed his brows, scratching his head with a perplexed look. The enslavement spell? Is that what  _Servitium Incu-something_  stood for?

"She cast Servitium Incusabantur and I cast the killing curse, the spells hit their targets at the same time, therefore I think her spell reattached to me."

"Severus are you saying…" Dumbledore started to ask, but Snape interrupted him.

"I don't know Headmaster, let's see if my assumption is correct," he retorted turning to Harry, "Potter, jump on your left leg and sing a Christmas carol!" he ordered, his voice laced with dominance.

"Wha..?" but before Harry could finish his question he was already jumping, "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…" he sang, a look of pure confusion on his face.

"Enough, Potter!" Severus barked and Harry stared at him dumbfounded. What just happened? Why did he do that? It was as if he WANTED to obey Snape's ridiculous order!  _What the fuuuuck!_

"I think this will do for a demonstration. As you can see, Headmaster, we have a serious problem. I don't know if I can continue to be a spy now," Snape snarled, rubbing his temples in annoyance.

"How long do you think this will last, Severus? I think you can keep your position if you were to present Voldemort with Bellatrix's body," Dumbledore proposed, "We can have Harry  _officially_  kill her," he added resting his chin on his hand.

Severus stopped his pacing and gave the Headmaster a considering look. "That would work, he did cast the spell after all. But it's very dangerous. If anything goes wrong, I won't be…"

"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" Harry yelled unable to keep silent any longer watching the two men discuss the situation he didn't quite understand. He had a sinking feeling he knew exactly, what Snape meant when he said that Bellatrix's enslavement spell reattached to him, but Harry refused to believe it.

The two men finally turned their attention to Harry. "You are my slave, Potter. You have been bound to me by Servitium Incusabantur, it's dark magic, often used by You-Know-Who to punish new Death Eaters. The spell essentially makes you submit." Snape explained looking slightly annoyed at being interrupted.

"Submit?" Harry asked unsure what it means.

"You will find it hard to disobey a direct order, you will be inclined to call me Master and will be eager to please. The bond will ensure your honesty and compliance." Snape elaborated. To think, that had the boy obeyed him, to begin with, they would not be in this mess now.

 _Ensure compliance?_  "How?" Harry asked, his voice hoarse with emotion. Snape's slave! Just what he needed in his miserable life! So what now?! He will be unable to keep anything from the evil git? Obey all his ridiculous commands? Run around Hogwarts catering to his every wish? What will the bond do, if he doesn't? Harry felt like he is going to sick up.

Snape ignored Potter's question and asked him instead, "How do you feel?"

"I feel like jumping of Astronomy Tower! Thank you for asking!" came Harry's sarcastic reply.

"Physically!" Snape's tone was sharp and Harry gulped suddenly feeling a great need to apologize.

"I feel like throwing up. And my head hurts, Sir," Harry answered much more politely this time.

"How badly does your head hurt?"

"I have had worse," Harry remarked honestly. He might be a slave and his life sucked, but he won't appear weak in front of Snape and Dumbledore.

"Good. Now listen carefully. You are not to seek medical help for your headache, the pain is from the bond and it will get worse if you try to "cheat it". Your headache will be progressing with time till you are punished by me. I don't have time to deal with you now, because I need to salvage the situation with the Dark Lord." Snape then looked at the Headmaster, "If I fail, Voldemort might try to use me to lure Potter in. I have a potent poison on me for such a case. My death will free Potter from the bond," he concluded matter-of-factly.

Harry was amazed by how nonchalantly Snape talked about poisoning himself and had to admire the man for his balls. He knew that being a double spy was dangerous, but it only occurred to him now just how ready Snape was to die at any given moment if his true allegiance is revealed. Harry then felt incredibly guilty for putting the man into further jeopardy.

"Severus, I'm sure it won't come to that. If I had any doubts about your ability to persuade Voldemort, I would not send you there now." Dumbledore put a comforting hand on the younger wizard's shoulder. Snape just nodded and turned to leave the office. He stopped by the door and looked at Harry.

"Potter, you are not to breathe a word to anyone till I'm back. In fact, you will go straight to my office and wait for me there. It's an order! Perhaps you will find it easier to obey me now, than you had an hour ago!" he barked, his tone leaving no room for argument, and stormed out of the room.

Harry's eyes lingered at the door a weird sense of loss overcoming him and then he glanced at Headmaster. Dumbledore was wearing the same sad expression he had when Harry was yelling that he will not resume his Occlumency lessons. Harry felt like he screwed up and let the man down once again. First, the Order lost the capable wizard in Sirius, and now they might lose the spy, whose position was essential if they were to stand a chance against Voldemort. And it was all Harry's fault.

"I'm really sorry, Headmaster," he apologized as he stood up and headed to the door. "How long do you think this will last?" he asked with hope in his voice, "Assuming Snape will come back, that is," he added feeling his stomach twist painfully at the prospect of Snape's death.

"I honestly don't know, Harry," Albus replied with a sigh. "You will have to ask Professor Snape about that when he returns. Which I am sure, he will. He is a very strong Occlumens, I dare say the very best out there. Anyway, if the spell is mostly used as a punishment, I don't think it's of permanent nature," Dumbledore offered reassuringly.

Harry gave him a weak smile and made his way to the dungeons.


	2. Punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains spanking. If such content offends you, I suggest you skip it. Or perhaps stop reading the fic altogether, as there will be more cp in upcoming chapters.

* * *

Harry couldn't sit still. He was walking nervously around the office. It's been over an hour since Snape left and Harry's headache worsened, just as Snape predicted. Harry didn't know what to do with himself. He was alone in Snape's office surrounded by man's personal belongings, but he didn't really feel like snooping around after the pensieve incident last year. Not only he had no wish to invade man's privacy like that again, he simply couldn't concentrate on pretty much anything but his headache and his worry. He felt torn between wishing the headache would just stop and horror that it actually might, because that would mean Snape is dead.

Just when Harry was about ready to yell in frustration, Snape entered the office. He did not acknowledge the teenager and went straight to the med-cabinet for a potion he always took after lengthy exposure to the Cruciatus Curse.

"You are back!" Harry stated with an exhale. He noticed that Snape did not look well, but he was undeniably relieved that Snape was alive and in one piece.

"Yes, Potter. Sorry to ruin your hopes for my prompt demise," Snape said sarcastically as he emptied two vials quickly with practiced ease.

"That's not, what I was hoping for, Master," Harry said defensively and immediately cringed at the title. Snape finally looked at him noticing the boy's look of relief change into the one of embarrassment.

"You will need to control, how you address me, Potter. As long as you show proper respect, the bond will not punish you. Try to remember to address me as Sir. You must realize that this predicament is to be kept secret, as it can endanger both of our lives," Snape said gravely and Harry gulped.

"Yes, Sir," he answered solemnly.

"How…erm… did it go, Sir?" Harry asked unsure how to bring up Snape's encounter with Voldemort.

"Well, the Dark Lord was not pleased," Snape cringed at the memory of Voldemort's punishment, which consisted of several rounds of Cruciatus, "But he bought the official version of you being the one who killed Bellatrix and me being too slow "and lazy" to react in time." Snape knew, that if he showed the memory of Potter casting the spell and let his Master see the anger he was actually feeling towards the boy, Voldemort will misinterpret it as Snape being angry with Potter for killing Bellatrix. It did not make him evade the punishment, of course, but it kept him in Dark Lord's good graces. He knew that Voldemort valued his position as a spy close to Dumbledore and will not get rid of him for such minor infraction, despite his fondness of Lestrange. He also made sure to complain, that their actions would undeniably result in strengthening of the protective wards around Hogwarts, redirecting Voldemort's anger to the two Death Eaters, that accompanied the witch.

"Not many people know, what exactly happened, Potter, and you need to make sure it stays this way. As of now only you, me, Headmaster, Professor McGonagall, and Professor Flitwick know that Bellatrix is dead. If it becomes common knowledge and you are questioned, you will say you killed her in self-defense. But for now, to everyone else, you were in Occlumency lesson with me for the whole time and learned about the incident just now." Snape leveled Harry with a serious look that conveyed the gravity of the situation.

"Sir, can I at least…"

Snape didn't let him finish, "Yes, Potter, I would not dream of you being able to hide anything from Weasley and Granger. You may tell them, but you will make sure they understand how important their silence is!" Snape said sternly. He knew it would be counter-productive to have the boy lie to his friends, provided he was even good enough to keep something like that a secret, it would undeniably result in stupid Gryffindors jumping to conclusions and taking action that could endanger them all.

Harry was relieved, that he could at least tell his friends. "Yes, Sir. I will," he nodded vigorously, the movement brought additional pain and he palmed his throbbing head.

"Oh right, your headache worsened I assume?" Snape asked noticing the pain written on Harry's face as the boy clenched his head.

"Yes Sir, it did. It's quite bad now," Harry answered honestly.

"It's the bond punishing you for disobedience. This will happen whenever you lie, disobey, or do just about anything that I might disapprove off. The bond will make you confess whatever wrongdoings and I suggest you do so sooner rather than later because believe me, Potter, you will not outlast it. As a matter of fact, one of the cruelest punishments the Dark Lord did, was not punishing the Death Eater who displeased him. The man went mad in about 72 hours, the killing curse was mercy at that point." Snape made a pause for effect, letting his words sink in.

Harry rubbed his hands nervously avoiding Snape's intense gaze. Oh, he understood all too well, just how screwed he was. The only thing giving him hope was that it will not last forever, right?

"Is there a counterspell for the curse?" he asked anxiously.

"As a matter of fact, there is. But it won't work, because I was not the one to cast the spell." Snape pointed out.

"Could you still try?" Harry pleaded.

"Potter, it was the first thing I did, when you addressed me in such fashion!" Snape huffed irritably, then seeing Harry's pleading look, he took out the wand and cast, "Finem Servitutis!"

Harry closed his eyes willing the headache to go away but nothing happened. He looked at the man miserably and Snape gave him the "I told you so" look.

"How long will this last?" Harry asked defeated.

"I don't know, Potter. A couple of days, a week, a month… a lifetime. It depends on the strength of the spell," Snape answered honestly then watching Harry's features twist in a painful grimace, he felt the need to add, "Bellatrix was a strong witch, but she was not powerful enough to cast a spell that would bind you permanently. If you remember, her goal was to bring you to the Dark Lord and perhaps have some fun. The usual length that I have witnessed being used was one or two weeks."

Harry nodded miserably. "So what are you gonna do to me? You know, for punishment," he asked his voice trembling ever so slightly.

"Well, the usual punishment involves intense pain and humiliation. Public nudity, chains, whipping, sawing off limbs, nasty dark curses…" his voice trailed off when he saw the horror plastered on Harry's face, "But we will settle for something more age appropriate." He stood up, grabbed Harry by the wrist and dragged the boy to his private chambers. He was surprised that the boy didn't resist his grip and followed him with a dejected look on his face.

Harry realized that he was in for some nasty punishment if Snape brought him to his private chambers for it. They were spacious, neat and tidy, in gray and light green colors with dark wooden furniture. There was a fireplace warming the room and bringing an uncharacteristic pleasant coziness to the dungeon. Under normal circumstances, Harry would probably glance around with curiosity, but right now he was too anxious about his punishment to pay much attention to his surroundings.

Watching the boy bite his lips nervously, Snape decided not to prolong his suffering and move straight to the punishment. He cast a silencing spell, which did not escape the boy's attention, put the chair in the middle of the room and motioned for Harry to come.

"What are you going to do?" Harry asked warily his courage leaving him as he watched Snape sit on the chair, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"You are getting a spanking, Potter," Snape replied, his tone masked of any emotion.

"A sp.. WHAT?! You said age appropriate! I'm sixteen!" Harry exclaimed indignantly blood rushing to his face. _This can't be happening!_

"Yes, Potter, humiliation is part of the punishment. Besides this is long overdue, don't you think?" Snape remarked with a sneer. He watched the red-faced teenager with a sense of comeuppance. The brat had it coming for a long time and finally, Snape was in a position to deliver the much-needed discipline. Not only it should satisfy the bond, but it might also do Potter some good.

"You… You can't do that!" Harry stuttered in response. He was red with anger and humiliation. Leave it to the old bastard to come up with a truly horrifying punishment. Suddenly the dark curses didn't sound all that bad!

"Well, let's try and see. Come here!" Snape ordered. But Harry was so appalled at the prospect of spanking, he did not move.

"No!" he refused angrily and instantly sunk to the ground with a loud yelp as the mind-numbing pain pierced through his head.

Snape immediately jumped from his seat, grabbed the teenager from the floor and flung him over his knees wasting no time to deliver the first stinging smack. He hoped that the sooner he started punishing the stupid child, the sooner the bond will stop its own punishment.

"Idiot! You should never openly defy me like this!" he scolded the boy and smacked him again.

"Ow, I didn't think this would happen," Harry replied his face hot with embarrassment. He noticed that the piercing pain was gone and he could think clearly again. Unfortunately, it also made him all too aware of his current predicament. Snape noticed the boy's body relax as the spasmic pain left his body.

"Well, that's the problem, you just never think, Potter!" Snape lectured and continued to rain down the smacks on the boy's backside. Harry gritted his teeth trying not to give Snape the satisfaction of hearing him whimper. The spanking, in fact, did hurt. It was nothing he couldn't take, of course, he had endured worse pain before on countless occasions, a session with skele-growth being among the most painful ones, but being bent over Snape's knees for such childish punishment made the whole experience just unbearable.

"Since your very first week, you showed nothing but blatant disregard for the rules, running around as you please with no consequences whatsoever!" Snape berated Harry angrily punishing the Gryffindor with methodical smacks.

"That's not true! You just hated me from the start and I didn't even do anything!" Harry protested.

"So you didn't disobey Madam Hooch on your very first flying lesson, almost smashing yourself against the castle wall for a stupid remembrall?" Snape asked pausing the assault momentarily.

"How did you… oh," Harry realized that Snape had seen it in one of his Occlumency lessons, "Well Malfoy was a prat and.. OW" he winced as Snape began spanking him again.

"Yes, and you were easy to goad into disobeying your teacher on your very first lesson, almost killing yourself just to show off! Oh, and of course you were very severely punished by getting a spot on Gryffindor Quidditch team!" Snape lectured with sarcasm.

Harry had nothing to say to that. Snape did have a point that back then he did actually get away without any real consequences. He remembered thinking that Wood was a cane McGonagall is going to use on him and was in fact surprised to find out, that it was a Gryffindor Quidditch captain.

"Ok, but I didn't get away with anything else! You just assumed I'm arrogant and spoiled and none of it was true!" Harry shot back venting his frustration with Snape.

"Oh, don't get me started! Taking on a troll - rewarded points! Going after stone - rewarded points! Flying that ridiculous car to school..."

Harry cut him off, "I did get detention for that!" he said defensively.

"You should have been expelled for that!" Snape thundered, laying a particularly stinging smack making Harry wince. "And you took it upon yourself to venture into the Chamber of Secrets only supported by an incompetent Weasley and that idiot Lockhart!"

"I saved Ginny!" Harry countered hotly.

"You almost got yourself and both Weasleys killed because you didn't approach a capable adult! Your parents died, so that you can live, how dare you constantly denigrate their sacrifice!" Snape snarled angrily upping the intensity of his punishment. He will get through to the brat if it was the last thing he did! Harry blinked back the tears, the mention of his parents was a low blow, coupled with a throbbing pain on his backside, he couldn't take the spanking stoically any longer.

"Then you went after an escaped murderer, stunned your teacher, ran after the werewolf, fought gazillion of Dementors, participated in the blasted tournament..." Harry knew where Snape was going with it and he just lost it.

"Brought Voldemort back! Got Cedric killed! Got Sirius killed! Almost got you killed! I get it! I get it!" he yelled as his voice broke with heavy sobs. "It's all my fault!" Harry cried miserably not noticing, that Snape stopped spanking him.

Snape watched the sobbing teenager over his lap with mixed feelings. He expected to feel gratification, finally the boy got what was coming to him, but he felt none of that. Instead, he had an uncharacteristic feeling of compassion. He knew it was not the spanking that brought this flood of emotions. He had no doubt he administered a thorough punishment due to the slight throbbing of his own hand, but he has also seen the boy endure way stronger pain without as much as a whimper. Snape knew from his own experience, that the headache Harry must have had while waiting to be punished was undeniably worse than the smacking, and yet the brat didn't complain even once. The boy was clearly carrying a lot of guilt on his shoulders and Snape could relate to that.

Without even realizing what he was doing, Snape started rubbing the boys back comfortingly. "Why did I spank you, Potter?"

"Because I fucked up everything," came the dejected reply as his shoulders kept shaking with sobs. Snape didn't have the heart to lecture the boy for his poor choice of words.

"Try again, Harry." The Professor's gentle voice and the use of his first name caught Harry's attention, he got his sobs under control and replied meekly.

"Because I disobeyed you."

"And?"

"And went after Bellatrix compromising your position as a spy," Harry hiccuped, wiping the tears with the back of his hand.

"And?"

"I don't know," he admitted miserably.

"You used an Unforgivable curse, you stupid child! That in itself wouldn't even be so bad if you actually knew, how to use it. In a battle you should NEVER use spells, you have not mastered! Your life depends on it!" Snape scolded, though his tone was much gentler than before. Harry thought about objecting to being called a _stupid child_ , but he figured coming from Snape it was almost a term of endearment, certainly an improvement from _imbecile_ or _idiot_.

"Yes Sir, I'm sorry," Harry apologized sincerely. Snape then helped him up and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder for stability. He handed him the handkerchief, which boy gratefully accepted to wipe away his tears.

"Are you still in pain?" Snape asked and seeing the look of confusion on Harry's face, clarified, "Your headache."

Harry shook his head. "No, Ma.. I mean Sir, my head doesn't hurt anymore."

"Good, you can use the bathroom to wash your face, it's there down the hall, and then we need to talk," Snape said watching Harry make his way to the bathroom.

* * *

_TBC_


	3. Discussions

Harry splashed his face with cold water and checked his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were red, his nose and cheekbones swollen, his hair a mess. _Great, just great! Bawling my eyes out like a 4-year-old over some stupid spanking!_ Not that he ever got a spanking when he was 4, Dursleys preferred in general not to touch him much to avoid his freakishness. They did slap him here and there, deserved or not, but never disciplined him this way.

Harry rubbed his bottom trying to alleviate some sting. It wasn't too bad, certainly not bad enough to cry as much as he did, which in itself was incredibly humiliating. It would be easier if Snape had beaten him raw, leaving Harry bruised and aching. He would probably still not go complaining to Dumbledore, but at least he would preserve some self-esteem and had some proof what a cruel nasty bastard Snape really is. Though Harry had to admit, that Snape was almost decent at the end, helping him up, giving him a tissue, making sure the headache is gone and even calling him "Harry". That was certainly unexpected.

Harry felt very reluctant to leave the bathroom. He was not ready to face the Potions Master who would undoubtedly ridicule him for making such a fuss over some smacking, or gloat some more how Harry finally got what was coming to him. But he knew, he couldn't exactly hide in the bathroom forever, so with a final glance at his pitiful face he left the bathroom and made his way back to Snape's living room.

Snape was sitting in the armchair by the fireplace, two mugs of tea laced with mild Calming Draught in front of him. He looked at the approaching boy, still red-faced but not crying anymore, and motioned for him to take a seat. Seeing the slight hesitation and carefulness at which Harry lowered himself on the sofa, he felt a pang of guilt. But why should he feel bad for disciplining the boy? The brat got just what he deserved, not to mention it was necessary to satisfy the bond. Snape felt irritated and decided that the guilty feeling was surely from the bond - because he let the boy off too lightly. Not because he felt bad for the soundly punished puffy-eyed teenager. Not at all.

"Drink the tea, Potter!" he barked more sternly than he intended. Harry flinched slightly at the sharp tone and hurried to obey the order before the bond decides, that he was defying Snape again.

"I won't go as far as to say, that this won't happen again," Snape said in a more calm manner. "We both know it's highly unlikely that you would manage to avoid getting in trouble with me," Snape continued earning a scowl from Harry, but the boy remained quiet. "That being said, I'd rather not repeat this so I hope you will put the necessary effort."

"What exactly should I do? For all I know, anything I do displeases you," Harry said grumpily.

"For starters, you would do well to obey me. It should be a bit easier, because you will be inclined to do what you are told, but the bond doesn't entirely deprive you of the free will. Open defiance, however, is quickly and severely punished, as you've seen before."

"So if I don't immediately do whatever you tell me, even if it's something absurd, my head will instantly explode?" Harry asked with a frown.

"No, Potter, it's the intent, that matters. The more I want you to obey, the more difficult it will be for you not to, and the harder the bond will punish you if you don't," Snape explained. "You started singing Christmas carols in Dumbledore's office because I needed to know for sure, that the bond was created, that's why you did it right away and with such ease."

"So for example, if you have a sudden urge for me to drop on the floor and lick your shoes in the middle of DADA class, that's exactly what I will have to do?"

"Oh my, Potter, you have already figured out my plans for the first lesson!" Snape said with sarcasm, which earned him a glare from Harry and he added, "However tempting this might be, it would hardly help to keep this bond a secret. And we have already established, that if the word gets out, we might both end up dead."

Harry nodded relieved. At least Snape won't make him do horrible humiliating things in public. But the idea, that Snape could make him do pretty much anything he wanted, was still very upsetting.

"Next thing is, you need to show me proper respect. That should be given, cause I'm your teacher after all, but shall you forget that," Snape leveled him with a stern glare, "the bond will make sure to remind you."

"So will you.. you know.. every time my head hurts?" Harry asked, his cheeks flushing.

"It's the fastest way and the one we know works. Though I expect that sometimes a simple apology or show of submission might work."

"How do you know so much about the bond really? Have you had people enslaved to you before?" Harry asked curiously.

"No, but I saw this spell being used multiple times before." Snape replied and then added rather tentatively, "And I experienced it firsthand when I became a Death Eater."

"You were enslaved?!" Harry asked, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Yes."

"To Voldemort?"

"Do not speak his name!" Snape chided irritably.

"Sorry," Harry apologized, "But were you?"

"Yes, I was... it was not pleasant." Snape admitted reluctantly and Harry could tell that the conversation got very uncomfortable for the man.

"How long?"

"Only for 2 days, I was a fast learner. And it made me master the Occlumency in record time."

"So what did you do to displease Vol.. I mean You Know Who?"

_Loved a "mudblood"..._

"Potter, this is not an interview!" Snape snapped and Harry winced as he felt a slight pang of headache.

"Sorry Master, I'm just curious," he said quickly and noticed, that just as Snape nodded in response, the pain vanished.

"Well I certainly expect you to satisfy your curiosity in the library, I'm sure Miss Granger will be happy to help you research the spell and what it does. I don't think you will find much in the general section though, so I will give you access to the restricted one. But Potter, if you abuse such access..." he glared at Harry menacingly.

"I won't!"

"I will make the spanking you just got feel like a few love taps!" he threatened menacingly and Harry blushed crimson. _Here we go. He just has to rub it in, bastard._

"Another thing about the bond is that it may require you to spend some time in my presence every day," Snape continued ignoring Harry's angry scowl at the threat.

"And why is that?" Harry asked with an attitude. Snape realized that the boy was already losing his temper and it's probably not wise to further aggravate him till he gets himself in trouble again, but Snape was so used to taunting the teenager, he couldn't help himself.

"Because you will want to," he answered with a smirk.

"WHAT? As if.. I.. Why the hell would I want to spend time with you?!" Harry was fuming despite the Calming Draught and the bond started punishing him for his disrespect right away.

Snape didn't say anything, he just watched the boy rub his temples with a painful frown. When no apology came, he simply stood up, grabbed Harry by the hand, spun him around and landed two sharp smacks on his backside. Harry winced, blood rushing to his face at the childish reprimand, but the headache was gone.

"Sorry," he said meekly.

Snape sat back on his armchair and continued as if nothing happened, "The bond will make you crave attention and will make you eager to please. We might as well put it to good use in improving your Occlumency skills. I'm sure we won't manage to have a lesson every day, but at least 3 times a week should be possible."

Harry just nodded miserably. _Just what I need, more Occlumency lessons. Spending more time with Snape. Being a good obedient slave eager to please his Master._ Then something dreadful occurred to him.

"Uhm, are magical slaves.. erm different from the muggle ones?" he asked uneasily.

"Well, as you noticed magical slaves can't lie or disobey, unlike the muggle ones. But in everything else, I think it's quite similar." Snape watched the boy twist on his seat blushing furiously.

"Will I have to... you know?" Harry was staring intently in his lap, his palms sweating.

"Will you have to what?" Snape asked confused.

"Well, you know... do stuff."

"I'm not a mind reader, Potter!"

"Well like.. when you, I mean..."

"Oh for god's sake, Potter! Out with it!" Snape snapped irritated. He took his cup of tea to make a sip of the calming essence.

Harry prompted by the command didn't have time to think how to phrase it any better, "WillIhavetosuckyouoff?" he blabbered wishing the floor would swallow him.

Snape choked on his tea and started coughing violently, spilling the tea on his robes in the process. _Damn brat!_

Harry was afraid to breathe.

"No Potter, I will not demand any sexual favors from you, nor will the bond require anything of the sort." Snape finally answered once he got his coughing and his own embarrassment under control. He watched the boy give a sigh of relief.

"Well, you know there is this thing called Snarry," Harry pointed out.

"What?"

"Never mind."

Snape frowned at him but said nothing. They finished their tea in silence. Then Snape looked at the clock on the wall.

"We missed dinner, I will have house elves prepare for us something quick."

Harry was feeling a bit sick from all the events and didn't really feel like eating. Besides sharing a table with Snape was quite disconcerting.

"Master I..."

"You will eat. And it's Sir, not Master." Snape said matter-of-factly.

The elves brought them a rather nice dinner consisting of mashed potatoes, grilled chicken and roasted green beans on the side. Harry felt very awkward eating with Snape, but the man seemed quite casual about it. When Harry left the beans untouched, Snape gave him a disapproving look and Harry suddenly found himself stuffing his face with the remaining greens on his plate without even realizing why he was doing it. He finished the beans and looked at Snape expectantly, but the man didn't say anything. Harry felt very stupid. Was he actually trying to impress the man by eating vegetables? _Oh Wow! Good job, Harry! Such a good slave you are!_ He mocked himself silently.

After dinner Snape dismissed him and Harry made his way back to the Gryffindor tower. He was exhausted and went straight to bed. Ron was already asleep, which was a relief because Harry really didn't feel like explaining anything, he was just so tired. He dozed off as soon as his head hit the pillow, dreaming about slaves and gladiators of ancient Rome.

* * *

Next day Harry grabbed Ron and Hermione after breakfast and dragged them to the lake. He cast a protective silencing charm and relived the events of the previous day.

"So you have to do everything he tells you?" Ron asked with a frown.

"Ye, pretty much," Harry answered with a sigh.

"Oh man, that sucks! What if he brings you to Voldemort or makes you do something horrible, like run around the castle naked?"

"Professor Snape won't do that," Hermione said reassuringly.

"How would you know, he is a Death Eater after all! And he hates Harry!" Ron argued hotly.

"If he wanted to bring Harry to Voldemort, he wouldn't have killed Bellatrix in the first place." Hermione answered thoughtfully, "And if Harry started doing some weird humiliating stuff, it would bring unnecessary attention and the bond could be revealed."

"That's what he said too," Harry admitted, "But it's still horrifying knowing how much power he has over me," he added miserably.

"Oh Harry, of course it's horrible!" Hermione said comfortingly, "But it could have been so much worse. If Snape didn't kill Bellatrix and she was your Mistress, you would have probably been already dead by now."

"Well, maybe not. I'm sure You Know Who would torture him first." Ron added his face just like Hermione's betraying concern for his friend. Neither of them openly reprimanded Harry, but he still felt bad about it.

"Harry, why did you go after her? Why didn't you come and get us? We are your friends, we would help!" Hermione's voice was laced with hurt. Harry was so miserable after Sirius's death. She and Ron tried to be supportive, but Harry was just so angry all the time, even started avoiding them. They thought he just needs some time alone, but now Harry almost got himself killed, all on his own.

"I didn't think at the time. I just wanted to avenge Sirius..." Harry said meekly, giving his friends an apologetic look.

"Well, you kinda did. That bitch is dead," Ron pointed out with a small smile. Harry smiled back and Hermione gave a smile of her own. They just kept grinning at each other, relieved that the awkwardness was gone and things are gonna be fine between them again. Harry was thrilled at how easily his friends forgave him, despite how badly he treated them lately. It was nice knowing that the two will always have his back, no matter what, and he felt truly blessed.

"You didn't say, how Snape punished you," Ron eyed him quizzically and Harry blushed crimson at that.

"Well, he punished me.. physically," Harry answered evasively.

"Oh Harry, I'm so sorry!" Hermione exclaimed automatically assuming Harry was beaten within an inch of his life, "I think you should see Madam Pomfrey! Snape didn't forbid you, did he?"

"I'm Ok, Miony!"

"Are you sure?" she asked with concern and Harry groaned inwardly. There was no getting out of this.

"Snape didn't beat me up, well not really anyway," he explained and seeing the confused faces of his friends he added, "He... he spanked me."

"Oh"

Hermione's mouth formed an O in surprise and Ron just stared at him as if he had grown an extra pair of ears. If Harry wasn't so busy studying his shoes, he would have found their dumbstruck faces funny. Ron was the first one to break the awkward silence.

"Well, that sucks, mate. But just like Hermione said, it could have been worse."

Harry just nodded and changed the topic quickly, "I'm supposed to research the spell, Snape gave me access to the restricted section. Will you help me?"

* * *

The three of them spent most of the day in the library. It was the first week of school and Sunday, so the library was pretty much empty. Madam Pince led them to the restricted section right away, saying that she was informed about it beforehand by Professor Snape.

There weren't many books on slavery, but they did find mentions of the spell in several. Harry already knew most of the information that was written there. However, there was a mention of how Servitium Incusabantur was similar to house elves servitude in some ways. Harry remembered how the little creatures punished themselves at the smallest infraction, perhaps it could work for him too. Snape did say, that a show of submission might work and Harry intended to test the idea.

Harry hasn't seen Snape all day. The man was missing at breakfast and Harry did not see him at dinner either. By the evening he had a weird sense of longing. It was quite irritating to actually miss the man, even though the feeling originated from the bond, Harry was still embarrassed to feel it.

By the end of the day, Harry garnered some courage and decided to go to the dungeons and thank the man for killing Bellatrix. Hermione was right, if Snape did not, Harry would have been dead by now. He made his way to Snape's private chambers and knocked on the door nervously.

Snape opened the door and at the sight of Harry, his face twisted in a displeased frown.

"What did you do?"

"Why do you assume I did anything?" Harry replied defensively.

"Potter, it's half past ten, you better have done something, that requires my attention!"

"Uhm, well I didn't, I just..." Harry stammered flushing.

"Get in." Snape cut him off and let the boy inside. They sat at the sofa by the fireplace like last time. Two cups of tea appeared on the table in front of them and Harry smiled sheepishly. Snape has probably already figured him out.

"Have you told your friends?" Snape asked as he sipped his tea.

"Yes Sir, we researched in the library all day. We didn't find much though. Nothing new that is. Hermione said we should still check history books in the common section."

"It's worth a try, given how common slavery used to be. But I'm afraid the spell might be more recent." Snape pointed out thoughtfully and Harry nodded in response.

"Potter, since you are here, I prepared something, you can use for emergencies." Snape handed him a small silver pin, "I give these to the Slytherin prefects, you can contact me by touching the pin with the tip of your wand. I will know then your location and the fact, that you are in trouble."

"So I use this when the bond starts punishing me?"

"Pretty much. I assume, I don't have to tell you, that misusing it will put you in a world of trouble?" Snape asked sternly.

"No Master, I mean Sir" Harry reassured him quickly before Snape makes more embarrassing threats.

They finished their tea in silence and Harry stood up ready to go back to the Gryffindor tower.

"Sir, I actually came to thank you. You know, for killing Bellatrix. I would be done for if you haven't. And well, it did avenge Sirius..." he trailed off and looked at the man. Snape was rather surprised, that the boy felt the need to thank him. He was always looking out for the brat, saving him multiple times over the years, but he never got any thanks for it before.

"You are welcome," he replied, his lips curling ever so slightly in resemblance of a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The jab at Snarry fans was all in good humor;)


	4. DADA lesson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: more CP in this chapter. (CP will not be the main focus of the story, but for now, the plot demands it)

"DADA is with Slytherins this year." Ron screwed up his face in annoyance as he read the syllabus while chewing on the remainings of his breakfast.

"Snape AND Slytherins... Wonderful!" Harry agreed grumpily, "Just the way to ruin my favorite subject."

"Actually this year Slytherin has the most students pass their O.W.L.s for it, even more than Gryffindor," Hermione pointed out.

"Why would they even take Defence Against the Dark Arts? They should have some private Applicable Dark Arts class, instead!" Ron sneered in response and Harry chuckled at his friend's accuracy.

"Ron, not all Slytherins are supporting Voldemort."

"Don't go there Hermione, I'm yet to find a single normal person in that House. Ginny ended up in the hospital wing on her very first Potions lesson, cause some bitch spiked her potion, and it blew up in her face!" Ron said hotly.

"What happened?" Harry asked curiously.

"She said it must have been Nalanell Cross, her parents were rotting in Azkaban till recently and now she is going out of her way to prove to her folks that she is a good Death Eater material," Ron replied with a sneer. Harry vaguely remembered Nalanell to be a petite raven-haired girl. He had never really interacted with her, except for the occasional glare she sent him if he dared to look in her direction, which was not uncommon among Slytherins. But he recalled that Ginny was complaining about the nasty girl quite often.

"Let's go, or we gonna be late," Hermione said, grabbing her books.

When they entered DADA classroom, most of the Slytherins were already present and indeed they were a majority in the room. Malfoy wasted no time in blocking their way.

"Oh look, it's the Boy Who Lived with a Godfather Who Died," Malfoy taunted rubbing his eyes with his fists and making sniveling sounds.

"Shut the fuck up, Malfoy!" Harry snapped sharply and shoved Malfoy out of his way.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Potter," came the silky voice from behind him. Harry groaned as he turned to face Snape. Snape looked at him with a raised eyebrow daring him to talk back. Harry clenched his fists but kept quiet. _To think I almost looked forward to the bloody lesson._

The three of them took seats in Gryffindor corner of the classroom and Snape began the lesson with a long lecture he always gave in Potions, about the importance of the subject and studying and N.E.W.T.s and blah blah blah.

Harry was sulking over the points Snape has taken. Snape must have heard what Malfoy said and yet only punished Harry, as he always did. Why did Harry expect that being Snape's slave gave him any privileges? _"Privileged slave"_ Harry snorted inwardly at the thought. If anything, it's an oxymoron. Besides, Snape has always treated Gryffindors, and especially Harry, unfairly while favoring his own House. Harry was used to it. He didn't care. Except now he did! Fucking bond! Harry then realized, that being ordered around and walloped by the man was not the worse the bond was bringing into his life. The "eager to please" part was even more disconcerting! Not only he craved attention of his Master, which was beyond humiliating to admit even to himself. Now he also actually cared about Snape's opinion or his treatment, which was incredibly frustrating. He wanted to impress the man and was happy that this year Snape was teaching a class that Harry excelled in. _But why should I want to impress the git?! He has been so..._

A small paper ball hit Harry in the forehead cutting his line of thought and bringing him back in the classroom. Harry noticed, that all faces were turned to him, some gloating, some with pity, and one with clear displeasure written over his face. Harry felt a tinge of the headache as he looked at Snape sheepishly.

"Well, Potter, we are waiting," the man said with a sneer.

"I don't know the question, Sir" Harry admitted his cheeks flushing slightly. Again the situation was so common, and yet it felt more humiliating and uncomfortable than usual.

"Another 10 points from Gryffindor, Potter. I see you are determined to bring Gryffindor in negative numbers this year," came Snape's sarcastic reply, which brought snickers from a couple of Slytherins. Harry felt his temper rising. He was just so angry, the lesson barely started and he already lost 20 points because Snape was being a git. A tiny voice in the back of his head told him to calm down, but he ignored it.

"Of course, Sir. How else would Slytherin ever stand a chance of winning a House Cup? Watching all those sad faces year after year..." Harry trailed off giving a mocking sad smile to the glaring Slytherins. Then he felt his headache increase to an unpleasant throb, he turned to face Snape again and saw a carefully masked fury behind what appeared to be a pleased smile. He gulped knowing, that his Master was anything but pleased with him.

"Another 10 points from Gryffindor, Potter. Your help might be appreciated, but your insolence is not. And it stops NOW!" Snape's voice held so much authority and dominance, that Harry felt his knees buckle.

"Yes, Master," he replied automatically feeling the wrath of his Master through the bond's punishment. Then he realized his blunder and his heart skipped a beat.

"Detention, Potter!" Snape barked livid, crashing his hand against the table with a loud thump. The classroom went very still with dead silence. Slytherins were giving Harry curious looks. No one dared to mock their Head of The House so openly and in such fashion. Calling him "Master" as a reference to how Death Eaters addressed the Dark Lord, Potter must have had balls of steel! Either that, or he was suicidal. Gryffindors were shaking their heads giving Harry the "what the fuck?" and "what were you thinking?" looks and only Ron and Hermione understood the nature of Harry's unfortunate slip of the tongue.

Snape was trying to salvage the situation. Of course the stupid brat would work himself up to completely lose control! Snape knew, that he himself helped to escalate the situation, but he couldn't exactly start treating Potter differently just because the bond might punish him. He trusted the boy was smart enough to realize, that in public setting it was even more imperative for him to be on his best behavior and not call attention to himself. Though Snape had to admit, that his command held so much dominance, that it was a surprise Potter didn't end up crawling on his knees. So he too was at least partially to blame. Although not like HE had any more experience with being a Master than Potter had with being a slave.

"For a week," Snape added watching Harry wince in pain. "You will report to me every day at seven sharp for your detention, where you will be reunited with your favorite toothbrush and lots and lots of cauldrons in need of your attention. Mark my words, Potter, I will have you lick them clean with your tongue if that's what it takes to teach you proper respect!"

Harry sank in his chair miserably. Of course, he will get punished for something that wasn't even fully within his control! And with a week of detentions! There were two Quidditch practices scheduled for this week and he was a captain of Gryffindor team now. He can't skip! But there was no arguing with Snape. His head was already throbbing painfully and it will be hard to focus on the lesson. He gave Snape a pitiful look, to let the man know his head was killing him already. Perhaps he will lay off of him now.

"Mr. Longbottom, please repeat the question I asked for Mr. Potter."

Neville gave Harry an awkward smile. "Why should we only use spells, that we have fully mastered, in a battle?"

Harry felt stupid as he realized that Snape wasn't actually picking up on him, he was merely reviewing the lesson he told him during the punishment two days ago. He asked Harry because Harry should know the answer.

"Because you should be able to rely on your spells. If you cast a spell, that won't work, you are giving the advantage to the enemy to retaliate before you can cast another spell," Harry answered, the pain in his head easing up somewhat.

"Correct. This year we will be focusing on non-verbal spells. Mr. Malfoy, what is the advantage of non-verbal spell?"

"Your adversary has no warning about what kind of magic you are about to perform, which gives you a split-second advantage."

"Correct, 5 points to Slytherin."

Harry groaned inwardly. Would he have gotten points if he was paying attention and answered his question the first time Snape addressed him? Maybe not, but it would certainly save him a throbbing headache, 20 points and a week of detentions. Not to mention, that he was probably still in for some walloping if he was to survive the day. Harry felt very sorry for himself.

"As you can see, in the battle, it's not only about spells or power, it's about advantage and how you can gain it. Having an upper hand by knowing your opponent's weakness or having an element of surprise can be the deciding factor," Snape lectured as he was walking through the classroom, checking on the miserable Gryffindor with a quick side glance. There was no way for Snape to ease his headache, Harry couldn't properly apologize and Snape couldn't exactly spank him in the middle of the class either. Or could he? That would have been glorious revenge for all the humiliation he had endured under the hands of the boy's father and godfather. But even Snape wasn't that evil. The boy will just have to deal with his headache until the end of the lesson.

"Now you can see a simple pencil on your desk in front of you. Since you have passed your O.W.L.s. to be in this class, it should pose no problem to use the Reductor Curse and then repair it with Reparo again. Everyone, please do it now, so we can proceed."

The class erupted in "Reductos" and "Reparos" smashing and repairing the wooden pencils. Snape was relieved that all of the students managed to do it without a problem, including Potter, who apart from occasionally rubbing his temples, showed no visible sign of discomfort.

"Good, now I want you to attempt it without saying the incantation. Wordless magic is significantly weaker and takes time to master, however, we have already established, that the strength of the spell is often not the most important factor." Snape took a pencil and shattered it to pieces with a slight movement of the wand and then put them back together again with another graceful flick.

The students started staring on their pencils flicking wands but no one succeeded. Snape was walking through the classroom giving suggestions and correcting the wand movement, telling people to concentrate. After a while, a couple of students including Hermione and Malfoy managed to crack their pencils a bit. Harry couldn't concentrate at all. His head was throbbing, he kept feeling Snape's eyes on him and it unnerved him even more. So much for impressing the man, he couldn't do the spell at all! Hurting and frustrated he clenched the pencil and actually cracked it with his hand accidentally. Unfortunately, the move did not escape Malfoy and he laughed loudly.

"Potter is cheating, haha! Potter, are you even sure, you are a wizard?" Malfoy gloated almost jumping on his seat with glee.

Harry's frustration reached a new level. He quickly repaired the pencil with a classic Reparo and kept staring at it, but nothing happened. He watched as more and more students were achieving to crack the pencil and then somewhat repair it wordlessly. His headache was bad, and he felt like screaming in frustration at his own inability to concentrate.

"Potter, perhaps it's good that your Godfather is gone, at least he didn't live to see how utterly useless you are," Malfoy said with venom and a couple of Slytherins grinned at that.

Harry's temper flared. He just wanted Malfoy prat to fucking die! He looked at the pencil the blond boy was holding with such rage and hatred, and flicked his wand.

**BOOM!**

The spell didn't hit the pencil, Malfoy's whole desk exploded with a deafening sound throwing everyone nearby against the wall of the classroom. Snape cast a quick protective shield charm around himself and students in close proximity, but still at least six students, all Slytherins, were lying on the ground covered with bloody cuts from the wooden splinters of the shattered desk.

As soon as Snape realized just WHO was responsible for blowing up his classroom and injuring multiple students, Harry clutched his head, as severe pain from the bond started punishing him with excruciating force, bringing tears to his eyes. Thankfully everyone was so captivated by the blast, that no one paid attention to Harry.

Snape didn't know what to do! He had never had such a big accident in his class before and he was teaching Potions, for god's sake! Cauldrons explode on a daily basis there. Malfoy got hit the worst and might have gotten several fractures, but it was Potter who needed his immediate attention the most. Despite not making a single sound, Snape could tell, that the boy was ready to scream with pain. Snape felt torn, he just can't attend to Potter and ignore his class! Especially since all the injured were children of Death Eaters. _Just you wait till I get my hands on you, Potter! You won't sit for a week!_ Snape also realized, that Harry cast the spell wordlessly and that the blast was almost too strong for wordless magic. It was no surprise, that The Boy Who Lived was a powerful wizard. But for such an amount of power, he severely lacked self-control. The boy was simply dangerous and something needed to be done about that!

"Potter, my office! Zabini, Parkinson, Nott, help get all the injured to the Hospital Wing. Class dismissed!" Snape barked orders, taking the body of barely conscious Malfoy and carrying him out. He felt a pang of guilt for leaving Harry behind. But the boy was strong, he will manage.

Harry felt dizzy, but he knew, he has to get out of the classroom. He saw Hermione crouching next to him.

"Harry, are you OK? You look very pale. Is it the bond?" she whispered discreetly, worry plastered on her face.

"Yeah, Snape was not happy with me blowing up his classroom I guess, it's really painful, my head is about to burst any moment," Harry answered, his voice hoarse.

"Harry, go quickly to his office, perhaps obeying his command will ease up the pain some," she urged him quietly, helping him up.

Hermione was correct, as soon as he left the classroom, the pain diminished slightly, at least he could see more clearly now. He hurried to Snape's office and let himself in. Harry decided to test the house-elf theory he had. He slapped himself lightly, but nothing happened. _Oh right, Dobby was always banging his head against the wall._ Harry went to the nearest wall and crushed his head against it with a thud. Nothing. He tried to apply more force, fighting the natural instinct. _Ouch!_ He couldn't tell anymore, what his head was hurting from. _Ok, it might not have been my smartest idea. Come ooon Snape, hurry up!_

Snape practically ran to the infirmary tempted to just throw Malfoy at Poppy and leave. But of course, he had to explain the medi-witch what happened first, for her to properly treat the injuries. Snape's impatience was misinterpreted as anger and Madam Pomfrey felt the need to lecture him on teenage hormones, difficulties the boys were going through at that age, and how accidents just happen, and how he must not to be too hard on the culprit.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Snape finally made it to his office. All his frustration and anger with Harry evaporated as he opened the door and saw the sorry state the boy was in. Harry was sitting on the chair, gripping his head, his face was red and sweaty, tears were streaming down his cheeks and there was a red bruise in the middle of his forehead. Snape mentally kicked himself for not finding a way to deal with Potter first after all.

Harry let out a sigh of relief when he saw his Master. _Finally!_ He gave the man a pitiful apologetic smile.

Snape wasted no time with lecturing the stupid Gryffindor, he grabbed the boy by the elbow and dragged him to his private chambers. He cast a silencing charm and threw the teenager over the arm of the sofa. He glanced around and summoned a teacup, transforming it into a nasty looking wooden paddle. Pinning Harry down with one hand he brought the paddle down sharply on the boys bottom eliciting a painful yelp.

"I'm sorry!" Harry cried out. The sharp pain from the paddle replaced the headache and Harry was glad for the momentary relief. The feeling vanished when Snape brought the paddle down for a second time and Harry realized how much more painful the paddling was over the spanking he received two days ago.

"You better be, you miserable brat!" Snape scolded, but his heart was not in it. In truth, Snape didn't want to discipline the boy at all, because the bond already punished the boy quite harshly. He just hoped that his choice of implement will satisfy the bond.

"It was not enough for you to blow my cauldrons all these years, now you blew up half of the classroom with that horrible temper of yours!" Snape brought the paddle down two more times. Harry gritted his teeth as tears were streaming down his face.

"Is everyone alright?" Harry asked miserably.

"Malfoy broke his arm and has a minor concussion. Everyone else only suffered some cuts, but nothing too deep. What on earth possessed you to do that?!" Snape asked, paddling the boy two more times.

"Oww, I don't know, I was just so angry! My head was hurting, I couldn't do the spell, Malfoy was being a dick, and you were so unfair!" Harry whined pitifully. Snape rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Yes, I was! Is that news to you? You have known me for 6 years, Potter! Surely, you didn't expect me to start publicly favoring you over the son of a Death Eater!"

Much to Harry's annoyance, he couldn't fail Snape's logic. He winced as another two smacks fell on his bottom. He just hoped Snape will be done soon, he didn't want to end up sobbing again and he was getting dangerously close to it.

"Harry, you need to work on your temper. It's not the first time your impulsiveness landed you in trouble. The magic you performed was very powerful, but it's useless if you can't control it," Snape voice completely lost the strict edge. Harry was taken off guard by the uncharacteristic gentleness. Not only Snape called him by his first name again, he even acknowledged, that Harry's magic was powerful. _Well, I did manage to impress him, after all._ Harry thought happily. A satisfied smile spread on the boy's face but was soon replaced with a wince as Snape paddled the teenager the final two times, bringing him to a total of 10.

"How is your headache?" Snape asked just to be sure. Harry sighed in relief, the punishment must be over then. He was pleased that he managed to take his punishment without sobbing his heart out like last time.

"It's gone, Sir, replaced with the _buttache_ ," Harry risked a sneaky glance at his Professor.

Snape let out an amused chuckle, "Get up, brat!" He watched as the boy pulled himself from the sofa and frowned at the bruise on his forehead.

"What happened to your forehead?"

"I tested the house elves theory."

"Doing what?" Snape asked, a nasty suspicion entering his mind.

"Banging my head against the wall," Harry admitted sheepishly, feeling rather stupid, "It didn't work."

Snape felt guilty again for leaving the boy to deal with the pain by himself. He went to the med-cabinet, retrieved a vial and handed it to Harry.

"What's that?" Harry asked eyeing the vial suspiciously.

"Take a guess."

"A potion," came the cheeky reply.

"Five points to Gryffindor. Drink." Snape almost laughed at the dumbstruck expression on the boy's face.

Harry drank the potion and made a face at the awful taste he knew all too well spending so much time in Hospital Wing. He instantly felt the ache leaving his punished backside. He didn't expect Snape to heal him after punishment, and he certainly didn't expect him to award points. Of course, Harry knew, that the man only did so in jest and will make sure to deduct them before the day was through, but it was still nice.

"Thank you," Harry said with a shy smile, handing back the vial, "Could we perhaps have some of that tea again?"


	5. A different kind of detention

"Headmaster? Do you have a minute?" Snape entered Dumbledore's office after knocking softly.

"Severus, my boy, do come in," Albus greeted Snape with a warm smile, "Lemon drop?"

Snape ignored the offered candy, "I trust you've already heard, what happened in my class today?" he asked instead.

"Oh yes, I heard you started off with a _bang_ ," Dumbledore replied chuckling at the pun with satisfaction. But Snape was not in the mood.

"Hilarious," he said dryly without a hint of a smile. "Potter has self-control of a Hungarian Horntail during the rutting season!" he snorted irritably.

"Now, now Severus. Harry is having a difficult time..."

"Spare me, Albus," the Potions Master cut him off, "That's not why I'm here anyway."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow at that. It was not every day that Severus would cut short the discussion on Harry Potter's misbehavior by himself. Usually, the man would just keep going, complaining about how Potter was just like his father and how everyone was too lenient with the brat.

"He cast the spell wordlessly, Headmaster, and the blast was bigger than an average verbal Reducto. He blew half of my classroom off, while his peers merely cracked their pencils," Snape continued, his tone serious.

"Well, the boy has potential," Dumbledore observed carefully, waiting for Severus to make a point.

"The boy has a temper! And too much power, he can't control. He wasn't even aiming for the desk, he merely meant to crack Malfoy's pencil."

"Well, he is still learning, he has time..."

"Potter doesn't have time! He has a target on his head! All that power and he doesn't even know how to cast a killing curse!" Snape retorted, his own temper flaring.

Dumbledore frowned at that. "Harry is not supposed to know, how to cast Unforgivables, Severus."

"Yes, he is going to kill the Dark Lord with a tickling charm," came the sarcastic reply.

"You of all people should now, how dangerous is an infatuation with Dark Magic," Dumbledore argued, his tone hardening with notes of steel.

"I do, and I will make sure Harry does as well," Snape said resolutely, not even realizing, that he called the brat by his first name again.

"Severus, I don't think..."

"I'm not asking permission, Albus. I'm INFORMING you, that I will be helping Potter with more than just Occlumency," Snape stated firmly, his tone leaving no room for further discussion, and with that, he stormed out of the office. Dumbledore's look of surprise changed to a satisfied smirk as he popped one of the lemon drops in his mouth, congratulating himself on a job well done.

* * *

After leaving Snape's office, Harry joined his friends in the Great Hall for lunch. He was in a rather uplifted mood after having the tea with his Master. Sure the paddling was hardly pleasant, but his headache was gone, his backside didn't hurt, he got complimented on his magic and even got points, though nobody is going to believe the latter.

"Harry, are you OK?" Hermione asked him in a hushed voice as he sat down.

"Yeah, I'm fine now," he nodded eyeing the food hungrily.

"Did he... you know?" Ron asked making a palm gesture and immediately getting elbowed in a chest by Hermione. "Oww, Mione, I'm just asking!"

"Yeah, with a paddle," Harry answered wincing slightly at the memory. It was one thing to admit to being smacked like a toddler, but paddling would at least get him some sympathy, and he wasn't going to pass on that. Besides, getting the paddle for blowing Malfoy into the wall felt more like a heroic deed rather than getting into trouble. Though he never meant to seriously injure anyone and should probably apologize, when he gets a chance.

Ron made a painful grimace, "That bastard!" But oddly enough Harry didn't feel like agreeing. He actually opened his mouth to defend Snape but caught himself just in time.

"But that was some explosion, Harry, the look on Malfoy's face was priceless," Ron added winking and offered a fist for a fistbump to Harry, which he gladly did with a sly grin.

"Harry, the whole Slytherin table is watching you," Hermione observed watching the Slytherins with worry. Harry looked up and saw everyone averting their eyes quickly, pretending they never looked at him. Everyone except one. Nalanell was staring directly at him with a look full of suspicion. When their eyes locked, she didn't avert her gaze and bore her big onyx eyes at him with intensity. Harry felt uncomfortable and blushed slightly dropping his eyes first.

"What is her problem?" he asked hinting his head slightly in her direction.

"The Cross girl? I'm not sure, I think Ginny said, Lestrange was her Godmother, Harry," Ron answered, then the realization hit him, "You think she knows?"

"If her parents are Death Eaters, It would make sense, that they would have told her by now, who killed Bellatrix," Harry replied.

"Harry you have to be careful!" Hermione warned him, "If she is set on proving her loyalty to Voldemort, she is a threat. You really need to watch out for her."

Harry nodded in agreement feeling slightly nauseated. He did want Bellatrix to die at the time, but being a murderer in the eyes of others didn't sit that well with him. Besides, from what he's heard of that girl's vicious behavior, he was probably in for some nasty vendetta.

* * *

Harry made sure to be for his detention on time and was stepping in front of Snape's office already 10 minutes before seven.

"Potter, are you waiting for a special invitation?" came the sarcastic voice from inside and for the second time Harry marveled at Snape's ability to see through walls.

"I trust you have managed to behave yourself for the rest of the day?" Snape asked him as Harry entered the office, "Or have you blown up more classrooms today?" he added raising an eyebrow at the teen.

"Only yours, Sir," Harry answered with a cheeky grin.

"I'm flattered," Snape replied without a hint of a smile, though Harry could tell that the man was not angry. The Potions Master was sitting behind his desk grading papers, just like a couple of days ago, when Harry came for his Occlumency lesson. And although he behaved pretty much the same, Harry could tell, that the usual animosity he felt around the man, was gone.

"Lines or cauldrons?"

"I get to choose?" he asked curiously.

"No, you will be doing both, I'm asking, which one you would like to start with," Snape replied evenly, crushing Harry's hopes for a more pleasant detention.

"Lines."

"Very well, take a quill and parchment from the cupboard there. Now let's see what will drive the lesson home," Snape paused, giving it some thought and then continued with a satisfied smirk, "How about, _'I will stop being such an insufferable brat and I will learn to control my temper'_?"

Harry gave him the "Really?" look and went to retrieve the writing supplies with a sigh. He thought about reminding Snape, that he actually got detentions for calling him Master, not because he blew up Malfoy's desk, but decided that Snape being Snape would only add extra detentions for the latter, and he wisely kept his mouth shut.

Snape continued grading the essays for another 20 minutes while Harry was scribbling his lines sighing every couple of minutes at the injustice of having a real detention. He kinda hoped Snape would keep him in the office for appearances only and otherwise let him be to do his own stuff, but apparently, this was not the case and his Master was set on punishing him, after all.

"Potter, I'm sure you will be happy to learn, that you got a zero for today's lesson," Snape said after another particularly annoying sigh from Harry.

"Yeah, I figured that, Sir," Harry nodded, his shoulders slumping dejectedly.

Snape took a pencil from his desk and threw it to the teenager, who caught it with the practiced ease of a seeker.

"Show me you can do it, and I will raise it to an Acceptable," Snape said watching the boy's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

Harry took the pencil, flicked his wand and shattered it to pieces on his first try. He beamed at Snape happily, but the man only gave him the expectant look and Harry repaired the pencil back together. He was surprised how easily it went, when he was calm, and didn't have a headache. He glanced at Snape for some kind of acknowledgment.

"Again," Snape prompted him instead. Harry repeated it a couple more times till Snape was finally satisfied.

"Get back to your lines, Potter. How many have you done so far?"

Harry counted the lines and replied with a grimace, "Forty-six, Sir."

"Well, do another five hundred, and I don't want to hear a word!"

"Five hundred!" Harry exclaimed indignantly, "Do you want me to spend the entire night here?!"

"You are not my type, Potter," Snape replied sarcastically and smirked when the boy blushed.

"That's not... you know, what I meant!"

"Potter, calm down. The whole reason you are writing those lines is because of your temper, you would do well to remember that. Besides, I told you I want them done and I want you not to speak. I never said you have to WRITE them." Snape gave him a pointed look waiting for Potter to finally catch up with his intentions.

Harry opened his mouth to ask Snape, how the hell is he supposed to do them without writing, when he realized, just what Snape meant. _Does he want me to practice more wordless magic by copying my lines?_ He took his wand and waited for Snape to start yelling at him for attempted cheating, but his Master returned to grading without giving him a second glance. Harry tried Effingo charm, but nothing happened. He furrowed his brows and tried again focusing on the lines, but the result was the same.

"Your wand movement is off," Snape commented casually without raising his eyes as he continued to write something in red ink on the student's essay.

Harry realized, that Snape was correct, he was focusing so much on the lines, he forgot to add a little circular movement to his wand. When he tried again, a new line appeared on the parchment identical to the previous one. Success! Harry looked at Snape, a satisfied smile plastered on his face, but the man just kept working on essays.

"You have 5 minutes to finish, I suggest you pick up the pace, Potter."

Harry smirked, _Challenge accepted_. He started copying every 3 lines, then every 5, then he ran out of paper. He bolted to the cupboard, but there were no parchments left. He opened his mouth to ask Snape for more paper, but Snape was faster.

"You are a wizard, Potter, I'm sure you can produce a parchment on your own without bothering me every minute. I believe I told you not to speak! Unless of course, you feel like disobeying a direct order, because you already miss the paddle," he said smugly. Not only it will force Potter to use wordless magic, but it should also pressure him to contain his temper if he wanted to avoid further punishment.

Harry scowled. He understood what Snape was playing at. He basically forbade Harry from speaking making it painfully clear what would be the consequences, if he did. But Harry didn't have time to sulk. Instead, he looked around for something to transform into a paper. He took the pencil he was using earlier, opting for the simplest transformation, because it was wooden. He remembered to concentrate on his wand movement and managed to produce a decent parchment on his third try. He quickly wrote the sentence and started copying it with his wand. _This was fun!_

Harry presented two parchments to Snape beaming with pride at his accomplishment. The man took it and incinerated it without comment. _That should wipe off that silly grin! This is detention!_ Normally such display of cruelty would irk the Gryffindor, but since he spent only a couple of minutes on it instead of long hours the lines usually took, he just rolled his eyes at Snape's demonstrativeness.

"Alright, you can move on to cauldrons. They are in the lab, take them all. I'm still half tempted to make you lick them clean for the cheek you showed me in class today!" Harry opened his mouth to protest but seeing Snape narrow his eyes, he dropped it. Instead, he silently mouthed "Sorry" to let the man know, he was regretting it.

When Harry entered the lab, he saw at least 20 dirty cauldrons. He hoped Snape is going to continue with his lesson on non-verbal magic, otherwise, he won't move a muscle tomorrow. Harry cast a silent levitation charm and brought all the cauldrons back to the office.

Snape took a quill, transformed it into a toothbrush and threw it to Harry. "Get to work, you have 10 minutes," he said with what he hoped was a stern tone, but Harry looked at him with such adoration, he felt like accioing the brat's wand to have him do it manually. Unless of course, Potter was capable of wandless magic. He made a mental note, to address that sometime during the week.

Harry first enlarged the toothbrush 3-fold, then multiplied it, then charmed them to scrub the cauldrons. He was enjoying the practice, thinking of more and more spells to have the brushes work more effectively and faster. He glanced in Snape's direction every now and then hoping to see at least some kind of approval, but Snape didn't pay him any attention what so ever. _Would it kill him, to give at least a bit of praise?_ Harry thought, sulking at the lack of acknowledgment and immediately felt childish for it. Of course, it was the bond making him seek attention and praise. But it didn't make it any less embarrassing.

Suddenly they heard two quick knocks and the door burst open revealing the Slytherin girl. "Professor, I need to talk...oh" Nalanell trailed off seeing that Snape was not alone.

Harry quickly dropped all the brushes and started scrubbing the nearest cauldron with his hand, but the fact he was using magic did not escape the girl's attention and she looked at the scene with suspicion.

"Miss Cross, I see you are eager to join Potter for detention," Snape said his tone revealing the full extent of his displeasure with the unruly 5th year Slytherin.

"No Sir, I.."

"Remind me, Miss Cross, is this your office?" Snape continued sarcastically.

"No Sir," she replied meekly, her cheeks flushing.

"Are we perhaps related?"

"No..."

"Is there a state of emergency requiring my immediate attention?"

"No Sir." The girl was looking more and more uncomfortable with each question. Harry felt really bad for her. Of course, the bastard will roast her for something so trivial. Wasn't he supposed to treat Slytherins better?

"Have you been taught on the proper etiquette of entering a room before? Or is the concept completely foreign to you?" Snape continued berating the girl.

"Yes Sir, I mean No Sir," she stuttered squirming.

"So what on earth possessed you to barge into my office without as much as a knock!" Snape thundered.

"She did knock!" Harry objected, unable to keep silent any longer. Nalanell shot him an angry look and Snape narrowed his eyes menacingly. Harry felt a headache making an appearance. _Great, now Snape is pissed with me too._

"Mr. Potter, I don't recall asking for your opinion," he hissed watching the boy look at him with defiance.

"Miss Cross, I believe a 3-foot essay on proper etiquette will teach you some manners. I want it on my desk by tomorrow!" he said turning his attention back to the girl.

***COUGH*** "Git" ***COUGH*** Came Harry's not so subtle opinion on the matter. He felt his headache increase significantly, both for not keeping silent and for disrespect.

"Follow me, Miss Cross, Potter can't seem to keep his mouth shut around you," Snape said sending Harry an admonishing look. They left the office to Snape's private chambers leaving Harry alone. He just kept scrubbing the cauldron not daring to use magic again with the girl nearby. He wondered what did Nalanell want to talk to Snape about? Did she come to confirm it was Harry who killed Bellatrix?

After roughly 10 minutes the girl emerged from the door. Her cheeks were flushed and she looked like she was about to cry, for the first time she wasn't wearing the "piss off" expression, instead she looked uncharacteristically vulnerable. She went directly to the door, but then stopped and made her way to Harry instead. She thrust a finger at Harry's chest, "I don't need protection, Potter! Especially not from you!" she lashed at him angrily.

Harry only managed to blink at her with confusion as she turned and stormed out of the office. _Jesus, what is her problem?_

Snape entered the room shortly after. "What did she want?" Harry asked the man, not waiting to be addressed.

"I fail to see how it is any of your business, Potter," Snape replied curtly.

"I think it is. Bellatrix was her Godmother. She thinks I killed her, right?"

"Yes, though I don't believe there were any warm feelings between them. Lestrange spent most of her life in Azkaban."

"Well, she seems to hate me for some reason," Harry noted with confusion.

"And that horrible display of white knighting was supposed to change her opinion of you? You failed your exercise, Potter!" Snape scolded him.

"I didn't want to risk using magic with Nalanell nearby," Harry replied furrowing his brow. Surely Snape didn't expect him to be done with cauldrons when there was a risk of him being discovered cheating during his detention.

"That's not the one I'm talking about, I meant your exercise in self-control."

"What? Are you saying you were bullying her just to get a rise out of me?!" Harry exclaimed exasperatedly.

"She can take it. You apparently cannot!" Snape remarked sternly. Harry huffed with irritation at Snape's sadistic methods.

"Finish the cauldrons, Potter."

"My head is hurting," Harry informed Snape with annoyance. Getting walloped was the last thing he wanted, but he knew, that the headache will only get worse with time.

"Well, you should have thought about it before. Besides, you will always be forced to act under circumstances, that are not ideal. Do you think the Dark Lord will wait for you to pull yourself together, to get a decent night's sleep or to overcome a sudden flu? You think he won't target your parents, your friends or your Godfather to get a reaction out of you and throw you off your game? No Potter, you need to learn to control your emotions, keep your mouth shut when necessary, and be able to perform regardless of your circumstances."

Harry wanted to shout at Snape with frustration for being so unfair... except Snape was right. Life wasn't fair, Harry knew it all too well. His enemies don't ever play fair, they never did and never will. And he better...

Suddenly he felt a sharp burn on his butt as he was hit with Snape's stinging hex. He clutched his backside and glared at Snape.

"And you also need to work on your reflexes," Snape said with a sneer. He sent another stinging hex at the boy and just as Harry was ready to use Protego, he cast a quick silencing spell, muting the boy. The hex hit Harry again and he shouted something angrily, except not a single sound came out.

"Oh my, I guess it's better that I didn't hear that." Snape mocked him not even trying to hide his own amusement. The teenager shot him an angry look. _Bastard, enjoying himself as usual!_ Harry felt so outraged, he didn't even realize his headache was gone.

"Get back to work."

Snape continued occasionally firing hexes at Harry while giving him different tasks, for Harry to train various spells wordlessly. The Gryffindor didn't always manage to deflect the spell and felt frustrated every time Snape caught him off-guard. The more frustrated he was becoming the harder it was to perform the tasks and protect himself from the Snape's assault.

"Anger is good, Potter. Angry wizard is a scary wizard. But furious beyond control wizard is a dead wizard!" Snape lectured the boy firing another hex watching the boy deflect it without making a sound.

"Your power is useless if you can't concentrate enough to channel it appropriately like you did when you hit Malfoy's desk instead of his pencil today. Use your emotions to your advantage, focus them into your power. Because once you lose control over them, they become a liability."

Finally, Snape glanced at the clock, which showed quarter to eleven and decided that it was enough for one day. He looked at his charge, the boy seemed exhausted but not defeated.

"Alright, that's enough, we will continue tomorrow," he said watching the Gryffindor drag his feet to the door with a worn out expression on his face.

"Oh, and Potter," he called stopping the boy, just as he was about to exit, "You did well."

Harry's eyes brightened up as the satisfied smile spread across his features, "Thank you, Sir."


	6. Resuming Occlumency

Harry was making his way to the Hospital Wing first thing in the morning. He hoped to catch Malfoy before the breakfast started and apologize to the Slytherin for the injuries he caused. Malfoy was an ass and Harry was pretty sure he did deserve to be put down a peg or two. But he never meant to actually break his bones or anything. It was likely that the proud teen won't even accept his apology, but that was not important. Harry was doing it, because it was the right thing to do, not because he particularly cared for his forgiveness.

The hushed voices stopped him at the door and he hesitated. Malfoy already had a visitor and the voice sounded familiar. Harry strained his ears, careful not to reveal his presence.

"...oh please! Potter with his noble marshmallow personality is not capable of killing anyone, much less an experienced Death Eater," he heard Nalanell's voice full of skepticism.

"That noble marshmallow personality just landed 6 people in a Hospital Wing," Draco remarked scathingly.

"That's because you suck," she replied with disdain. Harry chuckled at the girl's evaluation of the Slytherins.

"Hmpf, for someone who came asking for a favor, you sure run your mouth a bit too much, shorty!"

"Will you do it?" Nalanell asked him solemnly.

"Hmm, I don't know, Nell. Perhaps if you beg me..." Harry heard Draco's mocking voice and immediately felt like punching him in that arrogant face of his.

"Fuck you, Malfoy!"

"Beg."

There was a pause. Harry didn't want to wait for the girl to humble herself in front of that prat. He gave a soft knock and entered the room.

"Potter?" Draco observed with surprise. Nalanell turned to see, who interrupted their conversation with her usual "fuck you too" expression.

"Oh god, Potter, why do I have to see YOUR face first thing in the morning!" Nalanell spat with annoyance, glaring at Harry.

Harry looked down at her, realizing just how tiny the girl was. He wasn't particularly tall himself and he rarely looked down on his peers, but the girl barely reached his chin. Though for all she lacked in height she sure made up with her attitude.

"Because we attend the same school?" he offered, not understanding why is she angry with him again. Nalanell just rolled her eyes and pushed past him, giving him a slight shove, and left the room.

"If you came to apologize, Potter, then you can save, it, I don't..."

"I didn't," Harry lied. For some reason, after overhearing the conversation, the last thing he wanted, was to apologize to that pompous brat.

"I came to tell you, that I have had it with your shit, Malfoy. Consider this your final warning, fucktard." Harry said with venom surprising even himself how bold he sounded. If Malfoy thought, he killed Bellatrix, then perhaps it's better not to disillusion him on that one and finally enjoy some peace from the arrogant blond.

"Ooh, Potter, so scary! My slippers just ran away in fear," Draco mocked him with his usual sneer, though Harry could tell, that it was way less confident this time.

"Well, you can join them... or your aunt. Your choice," Harry replied menacingly, and with that, he left the room, leaving Malfoy to ponder over what he had just indicated.

* * *

It was quarter to seven and Harry was approaching Snape's office in rather uplifted spirits. The day went quite well, during Transfiguration he was the very first one to conjure a small stone out of a thin air, even before Hermione did, and McGonagall seemed quite impressed. And then he got his first ever Outstanding mark in Potions, thanks to the tips from a certain used Potions textbook he found. The look on Hermione's face, when Slughorn said, that Harry's potion was superior to hers, was absolutely priceless. Whoever Half-Blood Prince was, he owed the guy a butterbeer.

Harry was also surprisingly looking forward to his detention. Despite how many times Snape reminded him, that he was there for punishment, Harry couldn't help but feel, that it was rather a DADA training session, and he truly hoped that Snape will continue with it. Not only he was not a fan of scrubbing cauldrons, but he also felt like Snape was one of the very few competent DADA teachers he has had over the years. Especially after last year's Umbridge useless classes. Sure, Harry had Dumbledore's Army to practice spells, but they didn't have an actual skillful instructor to teach them new stuff. And if there ever was one, Harry had no doubt, that Snape was a very capable wizard with a lot of knowledge on both Voldemort and Dark Arts. Of course, he didn't like Snape's sneaky style of assaulting him whenever he felt like it, just to keep Harry on his toes, but that was just Snape being Snape. Nothing was ever easy or pleasant when it came to the man. Though Harry grew quite accustomed to the snarky manner over the years, he found himself not minding it all that much lately.

"Early again, Potter! If you keep this up, one might accuse you of actually liking detentions," Snape commented when Harry entered the office.

"And seeing that this punishment has become ineffective, you will surely opt to cancel my detention tomorrow, because I have a Quidditch practice to attend to?" Harry asked with hope. Merlin, when did he become so bold to actually negotiate with Snape?

"Or make it just all the more unpleasant, so that it does have a proper punishing effect," Snape replied dryly. Harry's face fell.

"Well, postpone it perhaps?" he tried one more time.

"Potter, you really need to set your priorities straight. Do you expect to defeat the Dark Lord by catching the snitch, or you think you will perhaps fly him to death?"

"You don't have to remind me every day. I just hope to also live a little before he kills me..." Harry muttered sullenly.

"Oh, so our hero already gave up. Good. Then I believe there is no point for me wasting my time with you. You are dismissed." Snape said sharply turning away from Harry and taking a pile of papers to grade. Harry felt awful. Technically Snape just gave him a free pass on his detention, but somehow it felt like a horrible rejection. Harry didn't have a headache, but he felt his Master's disappointment with every bone in his body.

"Please don't," he said miserably adapting the guilty look of a chastised puppy. Snape met his eyes, and his features softened some at the sight of a contrite teen.

"Self-pity will never work with me, Potter," he said much more sternly than he felt, looking in those green eyes.

"Yes, Sir."

"Your detention starts at 5 tomorrow, I have business in the evening," he said curtly trying to ignore the sunshine, that took over Potter's face. _Damn it, am I becoming soft?_

Harry couldn't help smiling happily. Snape was not fooling anyone here. _Business in the evening, my ass, self-pity totally works on you, you bloody bastard._

"Alright, wipe that grin off your face, let's focus on what you remember from yesterday," Snape spat trying to regain his stern composure.

"I remember you hexing me into oblivion," Harry replied, still cheerful from his small victory.

"I won't mute you today, but I want you to try and do spells non-verbally where possible. Remember, the shield charm is not the only way to defend yourself. Then we will move onto Occlumency."

Harry gave an annoyed huff at that. He hated Occlumency.

Without waiting for the boy to prepare himself, Snape sent a nearby chair flying at him. Harry didn't expect that and got hit hard in his ribs, knocking him on the floor and throwing the wand out of Harry's hand.

"Hey!"

Snape stood above him, wand pointing at his head. "And just like that, you are dead, Potter," he observed humorlessly.

"I wasn't ready!" Harry protested, blood rushing to his face.

"Oh I'm sorry, on the next Death Eater meeting I will make sure to instruct the Dark Lord to make sure and wait, till you are ready," Snape said sarcastically. Harry just scowled at him.

"Your goal is not to just hex somebody. In a battle, your first priority is to survive, to gain advantage and to defeat the opponent. The more creative you become, the harder it is to read you. You can use your opponent's weakness, your surroundings, weather, and even physical force just as effectively as you would the curses themselves, " Snape lectured the teen watching Harry get up and make his way to retrieve his wand. He cast a spell freezing the floor under the boy's feet making him slip and fall again with a groan as he hit his elbow hard. The Gryffindor shot him an angry look and got up. Just as Harry reached for his wand, Snape summoned it out of his grasp.

"For fuck's sake!" Harry cursed frustrated.

"Language," Snape sneered with slight amusement. Harry was getting fed up with Snape's bullying game. He tried to Accio his wand from Snape's hands, but the man deflected his spell with ease and sent a stinging hex at him. Harry yelped at the sting and looked at Snape with rage.

"Control your temper, you are already at a disadvantage. Don't rage, think!" Snape instructed watching the Gryffindor fume.

Harry quickly scanned his surroundings. Without his wand, there wasn't that much he could do. Unless... he turned his back to Snape, pretending to make his way to the Lab. He wordlessly summoned one of the heavy books, that was on the shelf behind Snape. The book hit Snape in the head with a loud thud on its trajectory and Harry used the momentary disturbance to Accio his wand again, this time thundering the incantation with force and ripping it out of Snape's hands.

Snape rubbed the back of his head a fleeting grimace of pain crossing his features.

"I'm not sorry," Harry said with a smug smile on his face. But the man didn't seem displeased at all and Harry's head wasn't hurting.

"Not bad, Potter," Snape admitted, "I would even say, quite Slytherin of you."

"The Sorting Hat almost placed me there."

Snape raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Ye, you heard me. You could have had me in your House to drive you nuts on a daily basis. You should be grateful, I ended up in Gryffindor after all," he added cheekily.

"Oh, believe me, Potter, if you were in MY House you wouldn't drive anyone 'nuts', because you would be held accountable for your actions, with appropriate consequences for misbehavior," Snape replied evenly, successfully removing the grin of Harry's face. Harry had no doubt, just how accountable Snape would make him by trashing him every time he felt that Harry stepped out of line.

Snape watched Harry blush, no doubt imagining all the embarrassing punishments Snape could have employed on him over the years. But as much as it was fun watching the boy squirm at his threats, they were here for a different reason. "Alright Potter, now tell me what do you know about defense against Imperious Curse."

"It's an Unforgivable, therefore cannot be countered with a Shield Charm," Harry answered.

"Correct, so what do you do?"

"Avoid?"

"And?"

"Conjure something to be hit instead?"

"Example?"

"Uhm, Serpensortia?"

"Good." At least the brat knew the basics. "We are not gonna practice any of that now. Instead, I want you to try and resist the Curse."

"What? Are you going to cast Imperius on me?" Harry asked with disbelief.

"Yes. You will be put in a state of a pleasant limbo, released from any responsibility or worry. I want you to try hard and resist the feeling. Very few people are able to do it."

"I know, I've tried," Harry said remembering the horrifying events of the graveyard.

"You did?"

"Yes, Moody, I mean Barty Crouch Jr. taught us, and I managed. And then Vold.. I mean You Know Who did as well."

"You threw off Dark Lord's Imperius?" Snape asked, his eyes widening in shock. Harry nodded.

Barty Crouch might have not used a particularly strong spell on students, but there was no doubt that Voldemort's spell was powerful. If the boy managed to resist it at the age of 14, then there really is more to Harry Potter than anyone expects.

"Well, let's try then. _Imperio!_ " Snape cast the spell watching the boy's body get meek, his usually defiant expression replaced with one of compliance.

"Sit on the chair, Potter." Snape watched the boy immediately obey and sit on the chair without even a slight hesitation. "Stand up," again the boy obeyed immediately. Snape gave a couple more commands, but Harry was just doing everything without any resistance. Snape ended the spell with an annoyed sigh.

"You are not even trying, Potter!" he snapped irritably. Why was the boy obeying so easily?

"I am!" Harry replied defensively, "Maybe it's the bond? You are the Master, it's all the harder to resist your commands," he added frowning. Snape gave him a pointed look.

"Alright then, might as well use it to our advantage. You are forbidden to obey me under Imperius Curse!" Snape said, his tone laced with dominance and intention. Harry gasped at the strong command, feeling the need to bow his head in submission.

"But if I fail, the bond will punish me!" he complained indignantly.

"Yes, that's the risk I'm willing to take," Snape replied with a sneer. Harry shot him look full of hatred. _You are willing to take? That's not YOUR risk to take, you fucking evil sadistic bast..._

"Imperio!" Snape cast again watching the boy adapt a compliant expression. "Sit on the chair, Potter."

Harry's peaceful expression changed to the pained one. He was moving very slowly towards the chair, his forehead covered in sweat, his face getting redder with every step. Harry stopped in front of the chair and trembled, the resistance wearing him out as he was slowly lowering himself on the chair. Just as Harry was about to give in and sit, Snape pushed the chair away sending the teen on the ground, and ended the Imperius. Harry winced as his butt hit the floor. It hurt, but at least the bond was not punishing him. He was sweating all over, he felt exhausted and quite sore. He was sure he had bruised his ribs, his elbow and his tail bone with today's practice.

"Better. We will try again tomorrow," Snape said handing the boy a vial with a mix of pain relief and energy supplement potion. Harry accepted the vial with shaking hands, not even caring, what Snape was giving him. Snape put his office back in order with a couple of quick spells and then decided that the boy needs a break before moving on to Occlumency. He stood up and motioned for Harry to follow him into his living room for some tea.

"I don't want to do Occlumency," Harry said as he was sipping the tea. He was not whining or complaining, he was simply stating the fact.

"Potter, you think I enjoy rummaging through all the teenage drama, that fills your head? Learn to resist, and we will be done with Occlumency," Snape replied unsympathetically.

"Clear your mind," he instructed the teenager.

"I honestly don't know how," Harry admitted unhappily.

"Just stop thinking, about anything. At all. Focus on breathing."

Harry took a couple of deep breaths, though he couldn't exactly clear his mind, as he was anxious about the upcoming intrusion, that he always hated so much.

"Legilimens." Snape cast the spell wandlessly. There was almost no resistance. _Harry flying and catching the snitch. Nalanell glaring at him. Ron giving him a fistbump. Cedric's lifeless body. Sirius hugging him. Uncle Vernon shoving Harry on the ground. Freak! Cupboard. NO!_ Harry pushed Snape out of his mind panting.

"Takes you too long, and there is almost no resistance on entry. Breathe!" Snape scolded the boy mildly and entered his mind again overcoming the slight resistance without any problem. _Harry wearing a Weasley Christmas sweater. Harry fighting the Hungarian Horntail during the Tri-Wizard tournament. Snape and Bellatrix on the Quidditch pitch. Snape spanking him. Freak. Cupboard. Stop!_ Harry stopped the intrusion, feeling raw and vulnerable.

"Try harder Potter!" _Uncle Vernon screaming and slapping him. Dumbledore's Army Patronus spell practice. Blood Quill. I must not tell lies. Bellatrix killing Sirius. Harry threatening Malfoy in the Hospital Wing._ Snape pulled out himself after that.

"What the hell, Potter?! That was today?" he snapped at the boy feeling his temper rise.

"Yes, I went to apologize in the morning."

"That was some apology! What were you thinking? I told you to keep the information on Bellatrix's death to yourself!"

"Malfoy already knew," Harry tried to argue.

"And now he knows for sure! And the whole Slytherin house soon will as well. But you just always have to be in the center of attention, don't you! Idiotic Gryffindor!" Snape transferred his cup into a large wooden paddle and Harry's eyes widened in fear.

"But, but my head doesn't hurt!" he stuttered, blood rushing to his face.

"But your backside is going to!" Snape thundered slapping the paddle against his palm.

"Please don't! You don't understand. Malfoy was a prat to me since the very first day. I just wanted him to finally get off me." Harry tried pleading his way out of this. But Snape already stood up waiting for Harry to assume the position for a dose of the paddle.

"You don't know what it's like!" Harry pouted childishly looking at his lap. Then he heard Snape laugh out. Like actually laugh. Harry was momentarily confused, he never heard Snape laugh before. He wasn't sure the man even knew how. _Did he completely lose his shit?_

"I don't know what it's like?" Snape asked, not being able to contain the laughter. Harry realized, how stupid he must have sounded to Snape, who have been ganged on frequently by Marauders. Harry tried not to think much about what he saw in Snape's pensieve, because he never wanted to think of his father or Sirius or Remus as bullies. But Harry had to admit, that even Malfoy never did anything so horrible to Harry, as they did to Snape.

"Sorry, I guess you do," Harry admitted, his face red with embarrassment. Snape transformed the paddle back to the cup and refilled it with more tea. That was like the most absurd thing the boy has ever said. _I don't know what it's like. No, Harry, you don't know what it's like._

"Alright Potter, focus, clear your mind," Snape said after sipping some tea, and cast Legilimens again. _Dudley getting hundreds of Christmas presents, and Harry getting none. Harry watching Dursleys eat dinner. The basilisk chasing him in the Chamber of Secrets. Sirius offering Harry to live with him. Harry trashing Dumbledore's office after Sirius's death. Snape telling him, he did well. Harry alone in the dark. Freak! Cupboard. ENOUGH!_ Harry was gasping for air as he felt a tear escape on his cheek. He wiped it quickly and burrowed his hands in his hair.

Looking at the sweating teenager Snape decided, that it was indeed enough. "We are done for today."

He watched as Harry struggled to regain his composure. He knew, that the boy must be feeling very vulnerable and violated. He himself felt quite uncomfortable at all the things he saw in the boy's mind.

"So what's with the cupboard?" Snape asked after a while observing the teenager carefully. Harry didn't say anything and just turned his head away in shame.

"You know I can make you tell..." Snape pressed him.

"I know you can. And I'm asking you not to." Harry replied with a solemn expression looking directly into his Master's eyes. Was it too much to ask of somebody like Snape?

There was a long pause.

"You are hardly the first abused child to attend Hogwarts," Snape stated casually, his tone masked of any emotion.

"Oh really?! And I thought I'm a spoilt pampered prince!" Harry shot back at him, feeling raw and hurt. Snape had no right to address anything he had seen in his head!

Snape felt his chest tighten with guilt. Yes, the boy was never spoilt. Petunia was nasty as a child and apparently grew up to be an even bigger hag as an adult. Starved, neglected, abused, unloved... Harry's childhood reminded Severus of his own.

"You were just too busy hating my father to see anything beyond that," the boy added woefully. _What, now the brat expects an apology? Who ever apologized to me?_

While Snape was struggling with an inner battle between his pride and his conscience. Harry was thinking about the episode he has seen in Snape's pensieve. _Of course, he would just see my father in me. After being bullied for 7 years, publicly humiliated in such fashion, and in front of girls! Four versus one! And then his son comes to Hogwarts, being a spitting image of his father. I guess I would hate me too._

Harry might have failed to do the right thing in the morning with Malfoy, but he is not going to fail to do the right thing with Snape.

"Sir, I never apologized for that day, looking in your pensieve," he said, his palms sweating, as he struggled to find the right words. "It was wrong of me to invade your privacy like that and I sincerely regret it. I didn't do it to embarrass you, at the time I only wanted to find out more about the Order of the Phoenix," he sneaked a glance at the man looking for any kind of reaction, but Snape's face was blank, his emotions carefully shielded with years of Occlumency practice.

"What they did was horrible! I hated every second of it. I... I would like to apologize also for my father and for Sirius because... they will never get the opportunity anymore and I would like to believe, that they are not proud of their behavior."

Harry searched Snape's face for some kind of acknowledgment, and when he didn't get any, he sighed, stood up and left the room.

Snape just sat there, deafening roaring in his ears. The teen had the balls to apologize not only for his own behavior but also for that of his father and godfather, who were probably turning in their graves right now. His own struggle to apologize to the boy for his prejudice seemed so insignificant now. The boy was only 16 and he was a grown up... and yet he had no doubt, just who of them was the bigger man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC...  
> So, what do you think? Should Snape man up?


	7. Quidditch practice

Harry was stepping in front of Snape's office anxiously. He wasn't looking forward to his detention/training today. Last night didn't go well at all. Snape raped his mind properly, revealing too many painful memories, and unlike last year, he even acted on them. Not only Harry barely escaped a paddling, but Snape also decided it was a good time to poke at his childhood. He never mentioned anything he had seen in Harry's mind before, that was an unspoken rule. Snape was supposed to be teaching him, not rummaging for information to be used against Harry. Harry also failed to resist Snape's Imperius just as he failed to resist Snape's Legilimency and the man just looked pissed and displeased the entire time. He didn't even have the decency to accept Harry's apology, and it was not an easy one to give!

Harry knocked softly and entered the office finding Snape at his desk grading papers as usual. Snape didn't even raise the head to acknowledge the teen.

"Potter, sit down. I left some books there for you to study."

"Study?" Harry asked with confusion. Aren't they gonna practice DADA?

Snape finally looked at him with the usual sneer on his face, "Oh right, Potter, the concept must be new to you. You see, 'study' is when you devote time and attention to gain knowledge on an academic subject, usually by reading books."

"Oh, that! You are right, Sir, I haven't done that before. I don't think I know how to read!" Harry replied matching Snape's sarcasm.

"You poor thing. It's ok, you can scrub cauldrons instead then." Snape commented dryly. He was not going to put up with any cheek.

"I'll study," Harry said giving up, "I just thought, we are going to practice DADA some more," he added pouting slightly.

"Potter, I don't know if you noticed, but I am actually employed here. I get money by working, which I am doing right now. I can't cater to your needs all the time." Harry scowled at him. Snape was going to be a pain in the ass today, and Harry was just not in the mood.

"Bloody bat," he muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Snape asked sharply.

"Nothing," Harry answered with attitude and immediately winced as the pain erupted in his temples. Snape smirked watching the teenager being punished for lying and disrespect with a sense of satisfaction.

Harry struggled for a bit trying to withstand the pain to preserve the ego but gave up after a minute.

"Oh for god's sake! Give me a break! I called you a bloody bat and I'm sorry!" he practically yelled at Snape, his face reddening with embarrassment. Snape couldn't help his lips quirking up slightly in amusement. Sometimes he really enjoyed the bond doing his job for him.

"Watch your temper, Potter. You are displaying self-control worthy of a 5-year-old." Snape scolded him and Harry had the decency to appear ashamed.

"Sorry," he muttered much more politely this time and noticed that the pain in his head disappeared.

"Work on the wandless magic. We will practice it tomorrow." Snape said turning his attention back to the pile of papers.

Harry looked at the books, they were all on the wandless magic. He chose the guide for beginners as the most friendly looking one and started reading. The topic was interesting and quite advanced. Harry could summon objects wandlessly, but it was a spell that many wizards could do, battle spells were on a whole different level though and Harry was happy, that Snape deemed him skillful enough to give him such exacting magic to study. He soon found the need to take notes, to structure the knowledge better. He raised his head to ask Snape for parchment and then decided not to bother the man with trivialities. He could transform something, or maybe conjure? He never conjured paper before, but he could try. He concentrated and muttered the incantation. To his surprise, a decent parchment appeared in front of him. Harry smiled with satisfaction and attempted to get the quill. It was a harder task because the quill was a relatively complex object consisting of several subparts. It took him way longer to produce all the necessary items and he did make a mess getting the ink all over his desk. He was so focused on his self-appointed task, he didn't notice that his Master was watching him intently the entire time.

Snape momentarily forgot the grading to watch Harry conjure the writing supplies. He was pleased the boy was mature enough to take the studying seriously. At first, he was tempted to snap at the brat to just ask for writing supplies and not waste time on useless spells, but he was too curious whether the boy could actually produce a quill. McGonagall told him, that Potter was excelling in Transfiguration this year and he was shocked to hear Slughorn praise Potter in Potions! Besides, Harry was performing quite well during his own training, the last couple of days. He shouldn't be surprised anymore at the boy's talent, and yet he couldn't help feeling impressed when Potter after 20 minutes finally managed to create a decent writing quill out of a thin air.

"So worth the time, Potter," he commented feigning disgruntlement. Harry shot him a look of mixed hurt and anger. _Nothing I do will ever be good enough for you, huh?_

Snape expected some smart comeback from the teenager, and when none came, he felt uncharacteristically uneasy for laying on Harry unnecessarily.

"I heard you are doing quite well in Potions," he mentioned casually trying to alleviate the unpleasant guilty feeling.

"Yeah, I have been saving myself for Slughorn," Harry replied with a smug cheeky smile, "He liked my mom and all."

Snape couldn't help an amused chuckle escaping his lips. _If the main criterium for you to do well in Potions, was the teacher liking you mom, then you should have been an absolute Ace in MY class, you miserable brat._

* * *

The weather was ideal for Quidditch practice. Sun was setting soon, but there will still be a couple of hours of good visibility. It was warm outside, which was not common for late September, and the wind was refreshing but mild enough not to intervene with the aerial sport. Harry missed Quidditch, it was one thing he always felt quite confident about and last year's ban was crushing for him. Now he was the Captain, responsible for more than just catching the snitch, but for the team itself, for scheduling practices, finding replacements, coming up with the strategy and solving the arguments. Harry didn't mind the responsibility. Sure, mostly he just loved to fly and compete on the field, but he liked people looking up to him to make a decision, and not because he was The Boy Who Lived, but because he was simply good at it.

Harry smiled at the approaching Gryffindor players. Ron played the Keeper this year, Ginny and Demelza Robins replaced Angelina Johnson and Alicia Spinnet as Chasers, they had brand new beaters Jimmy Peakes and Ritchie Coote, and Cormac McLaggen and Dean Thomas were the substitutes. The only missing one was the third chaser Katie Bell, who in all years Harry played Quidditch never failed to be late for practice. Harry smiled to himself, some things just never change.

"Ready for the first practice?" Harry asked grinning.

"Yes, Captain!" Ron saluted him teasingly.

"We are still missing Katie.. oh what the hell?" Demelza's face twisted in a frown as her gaze fell behind Harry. Harry turned to see the unmistakable green colors of Slytherin players approaching the Quidditch pitch. _Damn it, what now?_

"Potter, aren't you supposed to be on detention now?" Zabini asked eyeing him suspiciously.

"That's none of your business. For the record I already served it. But I don't see how it matters, Gryffindor has a scheduled practice here, with or without the Captain," Harry answered, his tone sounding way more confident than he felt. Slytherin team had also some fresh faces among them, the most surprising one being the certain petite black-haired girl, that was glaring daggers at him as soon as he set eyes on her.

"Well, we thought, you won't have the practice, and the weather is nice," the Slytherin Captain shrugged his shoulders.

"Well you thought wrong, so piss off," Ron huffed, glaring at Zabini.

"Calm your tits, Weasley," Malfoy interjected, "We play each other the first game of the season, maybe we could use this as a practice run?"

"Like a friendly match?"

"No Potter, more like an unfriendly match," Nalanell snapped at Harry and he couldn't help his lips quirking up. The truth was that her everpresent hateful attitude combined with the pouty face and tiny stature looked more cute than threatening and Harry found it rather amusing.

"You have new players, we have a new chaser and a new beater," Malfoy said wrapping his hand around Nell's shoulders and she shook his hand off with a glare.

"Scary beater," Ron chuckled at the scene.

"Don't worry, ginger. I'll go easy on you," Nalanell replied with a sneer.

Harry turned to his teammates, "Well, we could use the actual field practice, I guess. Dean, you can take Katie's position on the left flank, for now."

Harry realized, that not playing Quidditch for almost a year took its toll and he was a bit out of practice when he failed to avoid the bludger within the first 5 minutes of the game. It was not a strong hit, perhaps he might get a bruise on his thigh, but it threw him of the trace of the snitch. He saw the self-satisfied smirk on Nalanell face. "Oops, Potter," she sang as she flew past him.

Harry was quite satisfied with the performance of the team overall. The new beaters were strong and their aim was decent as well, Ginny as a chaser was even better than as a seeker last year and Dean was doing quite well as well. Ron did let a couple of goals pass, but overall the only person who didn't particularly perform was Harry himself. Nalanell also made sure to throw Harry of the trail by targeting him relentlessly whenever he went after the snitch. In the end, Malfoy was the one to catch the snitch, but they just kept going for the sake of practice.

After some time Harry finally spotted the small golden ball again, it was flying uncharacteristically high above the pitch, Harry went after it and immediately spotted Nalanell tailing him. She batted the bludger at him but missed. Jimmy noticed that Harry was finally after the snitch and that the Slytherin girl wouldn't leave him alone, and struck the bludger at her with force. Not expecting to be the target, Nalanell didn't see it coming. The bludger hit her broom giving it a high spinning velocity and throwing her off the broom. Harry saw the girl holding onto the broom by one hand and rushed to help her up, but before he could reach her, Nalanell was plummeting to the ground with a shriek.

There was no time to think it through, Harry was the closest, so he dived after her, pressing his body as close to the broom as possible to gain the necessary speed. The ground was approaching him faster than he hoped, and too late he realized that even if he gets to her, he won't be able to stop in time. In the last moment, he grabbed Nell, pressed her towards his chest, spun the broom around and braced for the impact. They hit the ground hard with Harry's back sliding on the grass for a good 5 meters, scratching and bruising it heavily. If it weren't for the cushioning charms that were always up on the pitch, they would have probably both broken their necks.

Harry groaned at the pain in his back and opened his eyes to see the black mop of Nala's hair in his face. The girl was clutching his shirt fiercely with her fists and her eyes opened at the sound of Harry's pained grunt.

"You OK?" Harry asked the girl on his chest watching as the relief washed over her face. For a moment Harry thought she is going to thank him, but she suddenly jumped away from him as if burned by a hot iron. She stumbled backward and fell, panic crossing her features. Harry got up and went to help Nalanell up, but when he reached for her, she slapped his hand away looking at him with a mix of rage and hatred.

"Why did you do that?" she hissed furiously.

"What?" Harry asked taken aback by the sudden change.

"I told you to leave me alone!" she spat angrily.

"Are you crazy? I saved you!" Harry snapped his own temper flaring. And then he felt pain erupting under his eye from a well placed left hook of Nalanell's fist. _She punched me, she just fucking punched me!_

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" he yelled after her holding his throbbing cheek with his hand and watching the girl run away from the pitch.

"That bitch!" Ron exclaimed as he and the other Gryffindor players landed next to Harry.

"Are you OK, Harry? That was a nasty fall!" Ginny asked looking at him with worry. Harry just nodded, his ego smarting from the punch much more than his back from the rough landing.

"Potter, you are such a ladies man," Malfoy teased him with a sneer, but Harry was so furious he couldn't even think of any smart comeback. Needless to say, the Quidditch practice ended there.

* * *

Harry was walking through the Hogwarts corridors muttering angrily under his breath when he ran smack into the black robes of his Master.

"Merlin, Potter, what happened to you?" Snape asked him taking in the trashed state of the teenager. Harry's cheek was swollen, his hair and robes full of grass and dirt, his cloak torn in several places.

"Slytherins happened! Your House is full of scumbags!" Harry retorted not even trying to contain his fury.

"Lower your voice, idiot!" Snape hissed at him sharply and Harry felt the dominating command silencing him from further raging. Snape motioned for him to follow and made his way to the dungeons.

"So what happened?" Snape finally asked when Harry closed the door of his living room.

"Slytherins came to our practice, even though I had the pitch blocked for Gryffindor!"

"And you decided to settle it with fists? Spells got out of fashion in a school of Witchcraft and Wizardry?" Snape asked, his tone full of sarcasm.

"No, we actually played together."

"And the loser gets the black eye?"

"No, that was Nalanell!"

"What did you do to her?" Snape asked, his eyebrows raising in surprise.

"I saved her! Didn't know, that's how people show appreciation in your House!" Harry replied hotly, then he sighed seeing the confusion on his Master's face and added explaining, "She was hit with the bludger throwing her off the broom from the height, I managed to reach her before she hit the ground, but didn't have the time to stop anymore, so I landed on my back."

"How Gryffindor," Snape commented dryly, clearly unimpressed, "You are a wizard Potter, ever tried using a wand?"

"I didn't have a wand, I was playing Quidditch," Harry spat defensively.

"Potter, sometimes I really marvel at the lack of brain function that you display time and time again. The Dark Lord is back, you have a humongous target all over your forehead, and you wander around without your wand?" Snape scolded the teenager sternly.

"But we are at Hogwarts!"

"Oh right! Because there is absolutely no danger here EVER, right?! No possessed DADA teacher with a surprise under the turban, no Basilisk roaming the corridors, no Werewolves or Dementors, no Death Eaters throwing your name in a Goblet of Fire, no ministry appointed hags to permanently scar your hand with a blood quill..."

"Alright, alright, I get it! I will keep my wand with me at all times," Harry snapped rolling his eyes.

"Or perhaps you forgot that less than a week ago Death Eaters got through the wards on that very same Quidditch pitch?" Snape continued scolding him, not letting go.

"I said I get it!"

There was a slight pause.

"I wonder if perhaps tanning your hide will help to imprint the message and cure that attitude," Snape said dangerously and Harry blushed, immediately acquiring a more polite expression.

"No Sir, I'm sorry," Harry muttered casting his eyes on the floor.

Snape went to retrieve the salve for bruises from the med cabinet. He reached out to put the substance on the boy's cheek and Harry flinched away instinctively.

"Good reflexes Potter, try to use it around girls who want to punch you. Now hold still," Snape ordered, as he spread the cooling balm over the bruise on Harry's face. Harry was surprised by the gentleness of his Master's touch. He rather expected Snape to rub it in painfully and tell Harry to suck it up.

"What else hurts?"

"My back, Sir"

"Alright, undress," Snape instructed him and Harry flushed. He was not really comfortable undressing in front of Snape, but then again how else would the man treat his back.

Snape frowned at the sight of the nasty bruises all over Harry's back, Potter's ribs and elbow were also dark purple, and he could see the edge of the bruise behind the trousers on the boy's tailbone.

"Seriously Potter, I shall tell the Dark Lord not to waste time on trying to kill you, you are already doing a marvelous job by playing that stupid game," he snapped spreading the salve tenderly over the boy's ribs.

"That's not from Quidditch. That's from your little bullying game from yesterday." Harry smirked watching Snape's face twist in a frown with something that mildly resembled concern, or perhaps even guilt.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I wanted to, but I didn't exactly leave on friendly terms yesterday," Harry muttered remembering the unpleasant conversation of the previous evening.

"Yes, about that..." Snape broached the topic and Harry tensed. He certainly didn't want to talk about Dursleys and their treatment. It was embarrassing and Snape had no right to bring them up again.

"Your apology is accepted," the man said watching the boy's eyebrows raise in surprise. Severus steeled himself for the next part. He should apologize to the boy, Harry deserved as much.

"And you were right. I have always seen you just as the son of your father..." he trailed off. _What am I supposed to say? Sorry, Potter, I didn't treat you nicely, oh and by the way, I'm actually responsible for the death of your parents and for the fact that you have a crazy evil wizard going after you your whole life? No hard feelings, huh?_ No there was simply no apology for this...

Harry waited for Snape to continue, but the man didn't say anything. "And now?" he asked unable to keep a tinge of hope from his voice.

Several answers ran through Severus's mind. _A boy who suffered way too much, Lily's son, an abused child with a big heart capable of love and compassion, a powerful wizard..._

"A brat," he said instead.

Harry let out an amused chuckle, "That's not much of an improvement, Sir," he said grinning.

_Au contraire, Harry. It actually is._

"Tea?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps not the heartfelt apology one would want, but definitely a step in the right direction for Snape;)


	8. It fucking sucks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Angst and CP in this chapter. (Although it's probably the last CP warning I am putting out. It's the 8th chapter and you are still reading, so you must be somewhat ok with it? If not, let me know, and I'll keep warning you.)

Harry groaned massaging his stiff neck and shoulder with his hand trying to give the muscles some relief from the tough training session. Snape decided to torture the living daylights out of Harry today by making him transform various objects into knives and throw them as target practice for 2 hours straight! All that while firing spells at him, throwing nearby furniture in his path, setting up traps AND silencing Harry from the start of the session. Sadistic. Evil. Bastard. Naturally, as soon as Harry dared to complain, he was thrown out of the Room of Requirement, which they often used for the training lately, because Harry was such _an ungrateful and egoistic brat_. And of course, after 2 minutes of sulking, Harry begged Snape to let him back in to torture him some more. _This bond will make a fucking masochist out of me!_

Truth be told, Harry was actually enjoying the hard sessions and attention from his Master. He felt quite powerful at all the magic he was able to perform. Although Snape was rather stingy with praise, Harry could tell that the man was satisfied with the progress he was making. Occasionally Snape looked so surprised at something Harry did, he would forget that he was supposed to be the mean bat of the dungeons and say something nice, like that _his magic was exceptional_ , or that _he was a remarkable wizard_. And Harry never let the opportunity pass to remind his Master of his "unfortunate" slip up by teasing him whenever he got the chance.

"Potter, if you don't wipe that pout off your face, I'll give you a proper reason for it!" Snape snapped watching the teenager make a show of how much his muscles hurt.

"But Sir, surely you wouldn't punish such a remarkable wizard!" Harry answered cheekily and Snape just snorted at that.

"I'll give you some relief for those muscles later, but we are not done yet."

"But, I'm so dead already," Harry whined stretching his hands.

"Harry, the Dark Lord won't..."

"Wait for me to have a decent sleep, be prepared and well rested et cetera et cetera. I know. I just wish he would get on with it already before you kill me with your own torturous methods."

"Potter..." Snape crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing in a sign of displeasure.

Harry felt a tinge of a headache. _Oops, too far?_ He slapped his face lightly, "Bad Potter, bad! Such a bad slave you are!" he scolded himself, slapping his cheek one more time and then glancing at his Master with a sheepish smile.

Snape let out an amused chuckle shaking his head. "Brat!" Harry grinned feeling the unpleasant ache leaving his head. It worked every time.

Snape soon grew serious again. This was no social outing, they were here for business. "We are going to practice some wandless magic, now. _Expeliarmus!_ "

" _Protego_ ," Harry automatically shielded Snape's disarming spell and looked at the man smugly. Then he levitated his wand to the waiting hand of his mentor.

"Just when did you get so bold, Potter? I really preferred when you just stuttered and glared at me." Snape chided, secretly happy with the quick reaction the boy has displayed.

 _No, you didn't._ Harry smirked at the fake scolding knowing full well, that Snape was pleased with his reflex. Harry was spending so much time with Snape, he learned to distinguish between Snape being angry and Snape being, well... Snape. The man scowled and growled most of the time, hiding his true feelings behind the snide remarks, but every now and then his lips quirked up or he pinched his nose in order to prevent himself from laughing, or his shoulders slumped ever so slightly when he felt guilty for being too harsh. Not that he became easy to read, Harry still often had to guess what the man actually thought, but he no longer felt awkward in his presence.

Harry found himself strangely enjoying the company of the grumpy man. He spent most of his evenings either training, studying or practicing Occlumency with Snape. Sometimes he came to just do his homework while Snape was grading. The two of them would work in silence with Harry occasionally asking questions on the topic of his homework. Snape would complain about how with Harry's demanding presence he can't get any work done, but he never threw the teenager out of his office and always found the time to drink some tea with him.

Despite the fact that things were going relatively well, Harry was growing more and more uneasy with each day. He craved the strenuous training sessions to help keep his mind off the fact that the whole week has passed and he was still a slave. Snape brushed it off, as something to be expected, but Harry was crushed when on Saturday evening he was still sporting a headache for mouthing off to his Master. He was so freaked out, raging, that Snape even had to wallop him a couple of times to stop his headache - something that Harry managed to avoid since he has blown Malfoy's desk. Now it was Thursday, almost 2 weeks since he got hit with Servitium Incusabantur, and Harry couldn't wait for Saturday to come because then it will certainly be over! Right? Right?

Harry got hit by Snape's stinging hex and he cursed loudly.

"Potter, pay attention!"

 _Fuck you, Snape, that hurt!_ "I'm tired," Harry groaned cupping his head with one of his hands.

"And I should care because?" Snape replied wryly.

 _Because you could at least pretend to be a decent person sometimes, asshole._ "Can't we continue tomorrow?" Harry said instead.

"I won't be here tomorrow. Why are you so distracted?" the man asked frowning.

 _Because I'm a fucking slave. STILL._ "Because I'm a fucking slave. STILL." _Oh crap, I said it out loud._

"Potter, watch your language and stop fretting over it. It doesn't help anything," Snape rebuked him, his voice firm.

"Well at least it's Hogsmeade weekend," Harry changed the topic not really willing to argue with Snape.

"Don't even think about it. That village is not properly protected."

"But..."

"You are not going." Snape cut him off with the domineering command, which made Harry want to scream in frustration. He just decided it. Just like that. No discussion. He used his power leaving Harry with no choice but to obey his Master. Harry clenched his fists willing himself to calm down. He slowly inhaled and exhaled like he always did in Occlumency. Yelling at Snape never solved anything.

"Where are you going tomorrow?" he asked the man changing the topic once more.

Snape raised an eyebrow, "I don't recall having to report to you, Potter."

Harry took a deep breath again. _If you won't stop being such an ass I'm going to snap, old man._ "If you are going to a Death Eater meeting, don't you think I should know?"

"If I die, you will know it soon enough."

"And if Voldemort reveals the bond and uses Imperius on you to lure me somewhere?"

"Fair enough. I'm going to a Death Eater meeting," Snape relented.

Harry was prepared to argue further and was surprised when he won the argument so easily. But now that Snape has confirmed his suspicions, he felt very apprehensive about it. He wanted to tell the man not to go, but he knew how childish, needy and just plain stupid that would sound. Snape's connection to Voldemort was one of the very few advantages they had in the war.

Snape watched boy's shoulders slump dejectedly and he decided that they won't get anywhere with training anymore.

"Alright, I think we are done for today," he opened his mouth to offer Harry some tea, but the boy was already at the door mumbling goodbyes. Snape saw how upset Harry was. He would like to give his ward some encouragement, but the truth was, he wasn't sure when the curse will be over himself and he didn't want to give Harry false hope. He tried to busy the teenager with enough work to keep his mind of the bond, but he could see how restless Harry was becoming with every passing day. He just hoped that the spell will run it's course before the boy finally snaps.

* * *

Harry didn't see Snape all Friday and he was growing more anxious every hour. Finally, at dinner, an owl brought him a small note.

_I'll be back on Saturday evening. Work on chapters 12-14._

_Remember the pin._

_S.S._

Well, good thing was that Snape was alive. Bad thing was that Harry won't see him for another day and the bond will make sure to constantly occupy his mind with it. Harry was already feeling like a needy toddler and it will only get worse. Or not. The bond should be over tomorrow.

"You OK, Harry?" Ron asked him watching his friend sigh glumly after reading the note.

"Yeah. Snape stays there for another day and I keep freaking out, that the bond will be revealed," Harry admitted reluctantly.

"Don't worry, Harry. Snape is not new to this," Hermione reassured him.

"Tomorrow is Hogsmeade, I'm sure a couple of butterbeers will help to keep your mind off stuff," Ron added encouragingly.

"Yeah, about that..." Harry trailed off. Would it really be such a big deal if he went? If it really wasn't safe, Dumbledore would surely prohibit further visits for anyone. The bond should be over tomorrow before Snape is back, so he won't have to confess it anymore... And even if Snape learns about it later on, so what, not like he will stop training him. And he won't have any authority to punish him anymore, so all he could do is scold him, and he was doing that most of the time already anyway.

"Hm?" his friends gave him a questioning look.

"Nothing," Harry answered, putting on a forced smile, "I'm just looking forward to it."

After dinner, Harry dived into studying, that Snape suggested. He won't have that much time tomorrow with Hogsmeade and he wasn't going to slack off on his preparation for the training session. Harry might have complained about the training plenty, but he was not stupid. He was The Chosen One prophesied to defeat Voldemort or die by his hand. He was not going to flunk his chances, which were not great to begin with, by being lazy. No, in that regard Harry had set his priorities straight, just like Snape told him. Snape was the first person to offer any kind of guidance and help. Of course, he wasn't doing it out of some affection for Harry. Snape probably didn't care if Harry dies, he simply didn't want Voldemort to win. And that was fine.

Unfortunately, Harry couldn't concentrate properly because his mind kept going back to his mentor the whole evening. Was it the bond forcing the familiar longing onto him because he hasn't seen his Master all day? Or was he already feeling guilty, because he was going to disobey the man? Perhaps both. But if he doesn't go to Hogsmeade, he will just go crazy while being alone tomorrow. Besides, after all the hard work, doesn't he deserve some kind of reward? He was a slave for 2 weeks and he was working his ass off, he deserves a break.

* * *

Spending the day in Hogsmeade with a headache was no reward after all. Harry was distracted and edgy the whole time and no amount of butterbeers or chocolate frogs could keep his mind off the fact, that he missed Snape and that he was in trouble with him. Harry didn't really want to tell his friends either of those things, so he just excused himself and headed for the Room of Requirement, where he busied himself with practicing magic.

Evening came and his headache didn't go away. But Harry was not ready to give up. He will wait till midnight, then Saturday will be over and so will be the spell. It just had to! The pain was growing with every passing hour and Harry tried to block it with Occlumency. To his surprise, it did work somewhat. He managed to do some sort of meditation for an hour and then he gave up. He was tired, restless and hurting, but still hopeful.

"Come one, come on, come on!" Harry watched the sweep second hand on the clock counting down the last moments of Saturday and closed his eyes in anticipation.

Nothing.

_Oh please, please, please!_

Still hurting.

 _NO NO NO NO NO!_ Harry muttered a silencing spell and then he yelled punching the wall with his fist, and then again and again. Blood was running down his knuckles as he trashed everything that was in the room. As if sensing his need, Room of Requirement kept popping up more and more furniture for him to demolish. Harry was alternating between using his fists and throwing wandless non-verbal surges of powerful magic blowing up everything to pieces. Normally he would be impressed with his own power... but he didn't feel powerful. He felt hurt, betrayed, insignificant and weak.

He was a slave.

Finally, after exhausting himself, he decided to go back to his dormitory, it was almost 1 am. He was sweating, tears running down his face, his hands were covered in blood, but he didn't care, he just needed to sleep and forget. He washed his face and the blood off his hands, changed into pajamas and crawled into bed in hopes that sleep will bring him some relief. But the excruciating headache didn't let him sleep. Harry never let his headache stay for so long before. Not only he couldn't sleep, but thinking, breathing, existing... everything hurt!

At half past two, he gave up, took his invisibility cloak and made his way to the dungeons. He stood in front of Snape's office that was connected to the man's private chambers and tried the handle. As expected the door was locked. And naturally, _Alohamora_ didn't work. There was only one thing Harry could do. He took out the pin that Snape gave him and touched it with the tip of his wand.

The door opened roughly 3 minutes later revealing the very sleepy Snape with messed up hair wearing grey pajamas. Harry might have been amused by the uncharacteristic look of the Potions Master, being used to the always serious and groomed man in dark robes, if he wasn't dying from pain at the moment.

"I went to Hogsmeade," Harry said taking off his invisibility cloak. He watched as Snape's features changed from sleepy to furious. The man grabbed his elbow and practically threw the teenager inside. Severus closed the door and murmured a couple of protective spells on it.

"Explain," he barked and Harry winced at the sharp tone, that was somehow hurting him more than his headache.

"There is nothing to explain. It was not your decision to make. I wanted to go and I went." Harry said trying to sound resolute and mask how nervous he really was.

"I told you, it's not safe!" Snape growled trying to reign in his temper. Was the boy completely oblivious to the situation they were in?

"Nothing is ever safe! That's the reality I live in!" Harry yelled.

"And that means you are going to take unwarranted risks?! You blatantly disobeyed me!" Snape bellowed. He was so angry with Harry. The teenager knew full well, that he didn't forbid him from going just to be mean. No, they both knew, how important it is to lay low while the bond is active.

"SO WHAT?!" Harry shouted defiantly, a challenging look plastered on his face.

There was no reasoning with the raging teenager. Snape grabbed his elbow and started dragging the boy to the sofa to deliver the much-needed discipline. To his surprise, Potter fought and struggled the whole way. Harry wasn't sure why he fought Snape. He knew it was coming, that's why he came there to begin with. But he really didn't want to be punished, especially when Snape was so livid.

Snape sat on the couch and threw Harry over his knees, he trapped the legs of the struggling teenager with his own and pinned his hand on the small of the boy's back. Without further ado, he brought his hand down smartly on the pajama-clad bottom.

"I thought we are past your idiotic stunts Potter," he berated the boy angrily, punishing him with hard methodical slaps, "But apparently, your stupidity knows no boundaries!"

Harry gritted his teeth, still struggling against Snape's iron grip. The spanking did somewhat help with his headache, but Harry was furious with Snape.

"You are the one to talk!" he yelled back, "You were hanging out with fucking Voldemort for 2 days! I only spent 4 hours in Hogsmeade!"

"I had no choice, but you did!" Snape growled, smacking the defiant teenager harder. How could he even compare it? Snape would never "hang out" with the Dark Lord willingly... he had to do it! Didn't the boy understand that?

"I was going crazy here! You left me alone!" Harry clenched his fist in and punched the sofa with his free hand. His head was still hurting and his ass was on fire. He could tell that Snape was really angry with him, by just how hard he was smacking him.

"And I expected you to deal with it like a grown-up, not like a headless stupid needy child that you apparently are!"

"FUCK YOU!" Harry cried out as the headache started punishing him anew.

"I see, I'm not making an impression on you!" Snape snarled annoyed with the continuous defiance of his charge. Without giving it a second thought, he grabbed the waistband of the boy's pajama bottoms and pulled them down revealing the bare flesh of the already red backside. Harry caught his breath, blood rushing to his face. _Oh God, this can't be happening!_

"NO!" he shouted completely mortified by what Snape had done. Harry has never been so humiliated in his entire life! Snape just kept spanking him, trying hard not to be affected by the whimpers of the highly distressed teen.

"I hate you." Harry's voice cracked at the soft proclamation and Snape felt his heart skip a beat.

"I hate you so much," Harry repeated as the tears of pain and humiliation ran down his cheeks. Snape's chest suddenly tightened with a horrible hollow feeling of hurt. Two weeks ago, Snape would have laughed at such a statement, but now he felt as if somebody sliced open his stomach and ruptured his insides. He steeled himself to continue with his punishment. It didn't matter, what the boy thought of him, he needed to make sure, the boy understood how foolhardy his behavior was and he needed the bond to stop punishing him. Merlin knows, how long the teenager was carrying on with his headache.

"I am very disappointed in you, Harry," Snape said, trying to ignore his own hurt feelings. Apparently, that was all it took to break the flood gates of emotion and Harry started sobbing brokenly.

"I'm sorry!" the boy cried and Snape finally let out a sigh of relief at hearing the boy's remorse. 

"It was supposed to be over!" he sobbed, "You said it will be over, you promised, and I'm still..." he couldn't bring himself to say the word, and just wept miserably.

Snape stopped spanking him then. He knew Harry has had enough... And he couldn't help feeling really sorry for the boy. He didn't even correct the teen that he promised no such thing. He carefully pulled Harry's pants back up reinstating some of the much-needed dignity and placed his hands on the boy's back rubbing comforting circles in an attempt to calm him down.

"I don't want to be a slave," Harry sobbed brokenly, hiding his face in his hands.

"I know," Snape said putting a hand on the boy's head and stroking it gently.

"It fucking sucks!" Harry whined softly.

"It does. But we will get through this." Snape's tone was soothing and Harry was relaxing under his touch, growing sleepy after all the stress of the day. He would like to just fall asleep right there on the couch lying over Snape's knees, but he knew his Master would not appreciate it. So he got off his lap and sat next to the man, wincing slightly at the pain in his bottom. He rubbed at his eyes ready to wipe his face into his sleeve when Snape placed a paper tissue in his hand.

"I'm sorry," Harry said again not meeting the eyes of his mentor.

"It was quite foolish of you Harry. Especially since Hogsmeade is one of the targets for the raid." Snape scolded him mildly.

"You didn't have to sp...punish me... this way," Harry stammered, blushing uncomfortably.

"Potter, only you would be foolish enough to insult the hand that was already punishing you."

"I'm sorry," Harry repeated the apology. And Snape just shook his head slightly.

"You are supposed to forgive me," Harry pointed out and Severus gave him a questioning look.

"I messed up, you punished me, I apologized. You are supposed to forgive me now," he pressed the man.

"I... I forgive you," Snape stumbled over the words awkwardly, glad that the room was dark and he was not facing the teenager. He felt Harry's head drop on his shoulder, as the boy leaned on him. The gesture was so unexpected, and yet so weirdly comforting.

"And you know that I don't really hate you, right?" Harry asked yawning. Snape didn't say anything, though he felt the wound in his chest to patch up some.

"I'm really grateful for everything you do, you know. Training me and all," he murmured as another yawn escaped the boy's lips, "I was just really upset and embarrassed, I'm sorry."

Snape sighed as the warm feeling spread over his chest. He noticed that the boy's breathing slowed down and deepened, he didn't want to wake him up but he couldn't exactly work as Potter's pillow the whole night. He gently shook the teenager and led him to the bed in the guest room. Harry dropped on the bed falling asleep immediately. Snape then went to the med cabinet to get himself some calming draught and then decided against it and poured himself a glass of firewhisky instead. That boy was going to be the death of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC...  
> I know it was quite an angsty chapter, but there was finally some bonding, hm?=)


	9. Nalanell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is about Nalanell, written mostly in her POV.  
> To give you some idea, this is [how I picture her.](https://hmp.me/ci43)

Nalanell was lying leisurely on the bed in her dorm, reading the assigned chapter of the Transfiguration textbook. She was not particularly keen on studying, but her marks dropped some and her parents demanded nothing less than Outstanding grades now. She didn't even protest anymore. Everything with them was about impressing the Dark Lord and getting in his good graces.

Of course, it was her parents' own fault that they fell from grace, to begin with. Anantra and Theodor Cross were never high ranked Death Eaters, despite being pureblood. They lacked in everything Voldemort truly valued, which was loyalty, wealth and power. They were the epitome of average in every aspect. Not particularly happy, not particularly wealthy, not particularly powerful. No useful connections in the ministry or abroad, and their family tree had too many muggles, to be an impressive pureblood heritage. But their biggest mistake was claiming that they were under Imperius curse the very second the Aurors seized them. They were called traitors by all the other Death Eaters. Even by those, who ended up following their example eventually, like Malfoys. But they were the first, they did it too soon, too demonstratively and it was obvious that they did it out of fear and not out of the carefully calculated strategy to preserve wealth and power for the future rise of the Dark Lord. And they had too much evidence against them, so they ended up in prison anyway.

But now they did have something extraordinary to catch their Master's attention, they had Nalanell. The girl was doing well at school, she had the reputation of a bitch not to be messed with. She was beautiful, skillful and she was liked by Bellatrix. The witch often praised her in front of the Dark Lord, stating how much better she was doing in Occlumency, than her useless nephew Draco.

The truth was, Nalanell hated Bellatrix. But she was scared of the crazy wicked witch, so she played along demonstrating the attitude, that was expected of her. It was not hard to play the nasty hateful bitch, she did that in the orphanage. But there it was a survival strategy.

Nalanell got in the orphanage when she turned 14. She started developing her feminine features, making her appealing to all the male population there. Both male wards and male staff members started making advances on her, and let's just say, there were no gentlemen there. Nalanell soon learned, that in order to avoid being grabbed and harassed, she will have to strike first and dissuade the potential culprits before they even thought about speaking to her.

It was the worst time of her life. In one year she lost the only two people she ever really cared about. Her grandpa and Cedric. Nala was only a couple of months old when Voldemort was banished by the Boy Who Lived and her parents ended up in Azkaban. She was raised by her grandfather. Her grandpa wasn't a supporter of You-Know-Who and always complained about the path his daughter Anantra has chosen, but nevertheless, he always forced Nalanell to visit her parents in Azkaban at least once every couple of months. Nalanell hated those visits, she didn't like her parents at all, but she did it for her grandpa. He was a good man, strict and stern yet loving a caring. He was Nell's only family and she loved him dearly. Unfortunately, he was old and had a weak heart, so one day, just as she returned from watching the second task of the Triwizard Tournament, a letter was waiting on her bed in the dormitory informing her of her Grandfather's death.

The child services in the wizarding world were apparently filled with evil child-haters. They didn't even have the decency to inform her in person. She got a fucking letter! Nalanell trashed her dormitory in fury and ended up in the Hospital Wing. Social workers did visit her there and she heard Snape giving them an earful. Just like everyone else in Slytherin, Nalanell highly respected Snape. He was fierce and strict, but he was very protective of his own house. Unfortunately, he was powerless when it came to Nalanell. She did end up in that blasted Orphanage and now he couldn't help her either.

Too late Nalanell realized, that by trying to satisfy her parents' demands, she was slowly digging a grave for herself. When Draco got the tattoo, she got so scared, that she would be punished in the same way, she went out of her way to prove that she was already very loyal and there was no reason for Voldemort to secure it permanently with the Dark Mark. But now Bellatrix was gone and Dark Lord had the need for the crazy wicked witch by his side... and, blast it all, Nalanell appeared by all means too fucking eager. She realized her blunder in strategy and decided to talk to Snape and have him persuade the Dark Lord, that she was too young.

But when she entered his office, the bloody Boy Who Lived was already occupying it, doing some weird magic on his detention. The fact, that Snape was apparently OK with that did not escape Nalanell's notice. And the noble Gryffindor was even stupid enough to stand up for her to Snape. Hearing his reaction, which was both daring and contra productive, Nalanell almost thought that the whole Snape's grilling session was primarily for his benefit. And that idiot was supposed to be the one who killed Bellatrix? That was just laughable.

"Why is Potter using magic in detention?" she asked the man as soon as he brought her to his living room for the conversation. She would never believe, that Snape did not know about it. So either Snape told him to cheat or willingly turned a blind eye on it. Both of those scenarios were highly suspicious.

"Miss Cross, that really is no business of yours. Now unless you would like me to add to your punishment, I suggest you move on to the reason for your visit."

"I think the Dark Lord wants to mark me," she said trying to guess what Snape thought about it.

"That is certainly his prerogative," he observed, his expression carefully masked of any emotion.

"I am not ready, Sir."

"That is not for you to decide."

"I thought... if perhaps you could speak on my behalf?" she tried again.

"Even if I did, if the Dark Lord has set his eyes on you, you will be marked," Snape replied firmly, crushing Nell's hope for any support from his side.

"Is there nothing, that can be done?" Nell's voice held desperate tones, as she lost her composure.

"You already did plenty. Surely blowing up the cauldron into Weasley's face was not necessary," Snape admonished her finally showing some opinion on the matter. No one ever proved who did that, but Snape was not stupid. And there was no point for Nalanell to deny it.

"Oddly enough I did that in order to avoid Draco's path," she said hanging her head in shame. She didn't want for Ginny to get burned so badly. They were no friends, not anymore anyway. But she never wanted to bring her any serious harm.

Snape just sighed in response. It did not surprise him, that Nalanell didn't want to be a Death Eater despite her behavior screaming the opposite. The girl was raised by her grandfather and never showed any care for her parents. Now when her parents were out of Azkaban, a certain standard was expected from her and she did not have much choice in it.

"I can't promise you anything, Nalanell," Snape finally replied and saw the girl almost give in to tears. He felt sorry for her. He may try to approach the Dark Lord, but he knew all too well, that it won't do anything, and he was not about to seriously displease his Master for her sake. No, there was a bigger game to play.

Nalanell left the living room, ready to cry, and was met with the curious look from the Potter brat. The boy was pretending to scrub the cauldron by hand and Nalanell snorted at his poor performance. The last thing she needed was for Potter to think, he can be friends with her because he stood up for her. She was already likely fucked, and having Potter publicly befriending her would be like setting it in the stone. So she went and dissuaded him from any future attempts.

But Potter was apparently a slow fellow. First, he interrupted her attempt to persuade Malfoy to push some other girl in front of Voldemort to replace Bellatrix. Pansy Parkinson was an obvious candidate. She clung to Draco like a sticker and she was a year older. Dark Lord might take his newest Death Eater's request to get his "girlfriend" a mark into consideration. Draco didn't actually date Pansy, but that was not important. She didn't really get to have a private conversation with Malfoy after that. And then Potter did the most horrible thing during that Quidditch practice. If ever there was a public display one needed to avoid, it was getting saved by the Boy Who Lived, who almost killed himself in order for her not to get hurt. In front of the whole Slytherin team! While playing against them. She ended up on top of him, clinging to his chest like a damsel in distress. As soon as she realized how it must have looked she jumped away from him, glancing around and seeing all those Slytherin faces looking at her with suspicion. She had to do something drastic, and the only thing that came to mind was to punch her savior. It was not even that hard to persuade herself to do it, because if she will end up getting the Dark Mark because of him, he will deserve way more than just her left hook. Her chances would be better if Potter returned the favor and struck her back, but of course, the noble Gryffindor did not hit girls.

Nalanell sighed in annoyance closing her Transfiguration book. She did not like Potter, so he shouldn't be occupying her mind while studying. Her mind traveled to the boy she did like and the tear fell on her cheek. Unfortunately, Cedric was gone. And the worst thing was, she never got to tell him of her feelings.

She met Cedric on her very first day of school. The handsome Hufflepuff prefect found her crying in the halls after the sorting. Nalanell didn't want to be in Slytherin, she was afraid, that her grandpa will be angry with her. Cedric talked to her for the whole hour, cheering her up, explaining how all houses were good by default, and it was people who chose their path, not houses they were in. He gave her a chocolate frog and she was still carrying the Dumbledore card from it in her pocket. Cedric protected her on several occasions when some kids were picking up on her for being too small. He was nice and gentle, and he never looked down on her, despite their age difference. Of course, he treated her more like a little sister, while dating all those girls. Nalanell just wanted to grow faster, so that he finally notices, that she was also a woman.

During the Tri-Wizard Tournament Nalanell was Cedric's biggest fan. She was wearing the pin in support of Cedric proudly and that's when they had a fight with Ginny. Ginny was always madly in love with Potter and she got really mad when she saw Nalanell wearing the badge that alternated between "Support Cedric Diggory" and "Potter Stinks". Nalanell never understood her infatuation with the Boy Who Lived. He seemed so full of himself, always saving the day, always in the center of attention. As if defeating the Dark Lord as a 1-year-old baby was actually HIS accomplishment. And during the third task, when Potter reappeared on the stadium with Cedric's dead body, Nalanell felt nothing but hatred for the boy. It should have been HIM, not Cedric. Why did it have to be Cedric?! But of course, she soon realized, that it was not Potter, who was responsible for Cedric's death.

It was Voldemort who took him away from her. Or rather Peter Pettigrew did. She has seen the vile man on several occasions and she had a hard time containing her temper with indifferent pretense. To think about it, this summer was even worse than the one in Orphanage. There she could be herself, now she was forced to play the role of the obedient pureblood daughter. Her parents were not loving folks, they didn't even pretend to like her. They were quite frank with what was expected of her now and what would happen if she didn't comply. She was present on several Death Eater meetings, including the one, where Draco got his Dark Mark. She was genuinely scared, but she knew she cannot ever show her fear.

Suddenly she saw a familiar owl outside her window. She opened the window letting the owl deliver the message, that must have been from her parents. She opened the letter and read it carefully.

_Dearest Daughter,_

_It's finally happening this Saturday!_

_The Dark Lord honored our request and you can finally join your family as a true and loyal servant of our Master._

_Wear your best robes._

_A. &T. Cross_

Nalanell felt dizzy and sick. She ran to the bathroom and threw up the contents of her lunch in the toilet. _Oh please, no!_ She felt the tears stinging her eyes. She sank to the ground and ran her hands through the hair pulling at it painfully. She wanted to scream and cry and perhaps just jump off the window. Nalanell never had suicidal thoughts before, but now it felt like a plausible solution to her problems. She chuckled miserably thinking of how it would ruin her parents' plans. But no, Nalanell was not that weak. Neither her grandfather nor Cedric would welcome her in the afterlife if that was the way she entered it. But then again, neither would welcome her as a Death Eater either. What life was there for her as a Death Eater? Assuming that Voldemort wins, she will be married off to some evil sadistic bastard, that earned himself a pretty wife by murdering innocent people. And if the Dark Lord falls, she will spend the rest of her days in Azkaban. And even if she will manage to avoid it somehow, what decent man will ever marry somebody with a Dark Mark on her forearm? What decent man would ever love somebody who has soiled herself in this way? She will never be able to even undress without shame, much less make love, have a family. She hugged her knees, hid her face in the elbow and cried and cried.

* * *

As much as Nalanell wanted to stop the time, Saturday came all too fast. It was supposed to be Hogsmeade weekend, but she won't be joining her classmates in the Three Broomsticks for some butterbeer. She will be joining a Death Eater meeting in Malfoy Manor, where she will be permanently marked as one of them. Nalanell put on black festive robes, high heels, and strong makeup emphasizing her big dark eyes. She needed to appear confident and fearless, despite feeling anything but.

She walked through the manor to the main hall. She knew the house quite well, spending here plenty of time during the summer. Everything inside the manor screamed of the wealth of its owners, but Nalanell was not impressed. Her parents would love nothing more than for her to marry the arrogant blond heir, but thankfully Malfoys had higher expectations of their son, than a daughter of low ranked Death Eaters.

Nalanell entered the main hall, bowing her head in a graceful curtsy. There was a big table in the middle of the room and around 25 people sitting around it. All men stood up in a polite gesture of a lady entering the room, Voldemort the only one remained seated. He looked at her, his dark gaze sending chills down her spine, and motioned with his hand for her to approach.

"Come, child, join us at the table," he said, his voice raspy and domineering. She willed her legs to move and sat at the table next to her parents. Anantra gave her a proud smile and Nalanell felt like puking again.

"Mother, Father." she nodded at her parents in greeting. She glanced around the table noticing familiar faces. Snape was sitting on the right-hand side of Voldemort and next to him was Peter Pettigrew. Nalanell felt her insides turn cold at the sight of the vile man. Voldemort didn't inspire so much hatred in her as that ugly fat Death Eater did. She was scared of the powerful wizard, but she felt nothing but contempt for the rat sidekick.

The meeting just went on for another hour, men discussed upcoming plans and targets for attack, women sat in polite silence that was expected of them. Nalanell couldn't pay attention at all, she was too preoccupied with her impending doom. Although the fact that today was supposed to be an attack on Hogsmeade, did catch her attention. Just when there was a Hogsmeade weekend in Hogwarts and all her friends will be there! Thankfully Snape argued that an attack so close to Hogwarts so soon after the Bellatrix's breach of the wards would only force Dumbledore to involve Auror forces around the castle, making it harder to penetrate, when the time comes. Nalanell sighed, if only Snape argued that well on her behalf, but there was nothing anyone could do at this point.

"Finally, we can move on to the more pleasant business on our agenda," Voldemort said giving Nalanell a creepy smile and she struggled to return it. "Today we have a new member to welcome among our ranks."

Nalanell fell her throat constrict painfully, cutting out her income of air. She gasped wondering whether it was Voldemort's doing, or whether it was her own body protesting.

"Come, child," the Dark Lord motioned for her to approach him. Nalanell stood up, her knees buckled and she had to grab the table in order to remain upright. Voldemort smiled misinterpreting her nervosity with eagerness.

"I heard, you became close to Harry Potter," he observed and Nalanell couldn't mask the fear that showed in her eyes.

"I only serve you, My Lord," she answered, bowing her head and casting her eyes on the floor submissively.

"Yes, we are going to make sure of that," Voldemort answered smiling as he took her left hand gently and revealed the bare flesh of her forearm. His hands were deadly cool, his touch gentle, yet icy and punishing. Nalanell closed her eyes trying to picture herself anywhere but here. She trembled fiercely much to the amusement of everyone present. Then she felt the tip of the wand touch her forearm and for a moment she forgot how to breathe. She opened her eyes watching the ink serpent crawling around the skull on her arm.

It was done. She was permanently branded by the Dark Lord as his servant and loyal follower. Her soul sordid, her body soiled. Forever.

She was a Death Eater.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it felt too depressing, it's because I was listening to Infinite White by Steve Jablonsky on repeat while writing it;)


	10. The Vow

Harry stretched his hands sleepily, trying to catch the last glimpse of some pleasant dream, that was slowly disappearing as his mind was dragged into awareness. He opened his eyes and stared at the unfamiliar surroundings with confusion. Where was he? He groaned as the events of last night started creeping into his mind, successfully wiping out any remaining pleasant feelings of the dream. He was still a slave. Snape punished him. Harry cringed at the memory of the spanking. Honestly, he wasn't a kid anymore. Getting a spanking was bad enough, but getting it on the bare was just beyond humiliating. How is he ever going to live that down? And then he actually fell asleep on Snape's shoulder. Now THAT's awkward. Harry closed his eyes trying to have the bed swallow him, but looks like he was not that powerful yet. He will just have to face the man.

He sat up on the bed and glanced around. The room was very much like the rest of Snape's chambers, clean and spacious, in grey and green colors, with dark wooden furniture. There was a clock on the wall showing 11 AM. Harry jumped from the bed panicking. He slept so long?! Why didn't Snape wake him? He saw his jeans and t-shirt lying on the chair and wondered how they got there. He dressed up and went directly to the bathroom, where he quickly washed his face and brushed his teeth. Feeling like he can't put it out any longer he made his way to the living room.

Snape was sitting on the sofa with a potions journal in his hands, sipping on the tea.

"Good morning, Potter, I trust you slept well?" he greeted the approaching teenager.

"Morning, Sir. Why didn't you wake me?" Harry asked trying to unglue his eyes of the floor and look at the man.

"You needed to rest," Snape replied matter-of-factly, took his cup and went to sit at the kitchen table. Harry followed, sitting opposite of him, feeling very awkward. Breakfast appeared in front of him, consisting of eggs, bacon, grilled vegetables, pancakes, and even muffins. Now that was one hell of a rich breakfast. He looked at Snape quizzically.

"Bon appetit," the man said simply. Snape didn't appear nearly as uncomfortable as Harry felt. Harry was pretty hungry, so he dug into the food with gusto and Snape noticed his beat up knuckles then.

"What's that?" he asked frowning.

Harry hid his knuckles in his hands, blushing slightly. "That's me finding out, that I'm still a slave after midnight. I... I was in the Room of Requirement," he stammered wringing his hands nervously.

"I see," Snape observed carefully, "Is there anything left of that room?"

Harry chuckled at the joke. "Not much, Sir. I was thorough."

"So why did you only come after two?" Snape asked him after a while.

"Sir?"

"I can understand why you didn't approach me in the evening to confess your wrongdoings, but I don't understand what did you do for over two hours when you figured out that the bond didn't end after midnight?"

"I.. well.. I didn't want to wake you. I thought, I'll just come see you in the morning," Harry answered disconcerted.

"Hmm, so that makes it what? Fourteen hours of bond punishing you? I'm not sure whether I should feel impressed or disappointed," Snape remarked sternly.

"Impressed," Harry offered wryly despite knowing that it was a rhetorical question.

"Impressed at your stupidity, maybe," Snape said earning a glare from the teenager, "Disappointed, that you would rather suffer for two hours needlessly than seek help from me."

"Well, your 'help' is painful and embarrassing, and you are surprised I don't jump at the opportunity? Not to mention, you made it extra humiliating this time," Harry retorted sulkily.

"You mouthed off to me!"

"You called me a needy child!"

"I'm sorry," Snape apologized and almost laughed at the shocked expression on Harry's face, "I guess it must have been hard those two days."

Harry just stared at the man in disbelief, "I'm sorry too," he muttered after getting over the shock, that Snape was even capable of such thing as an apology, "I was afraid to face you because I knew you would be angry," he confessed, casting his eyes on the floor.

Snape sighed, "Harry, you know I didn't forbid you to go just to make you miserable," he said trying to catch eye contact with the sulky teenager.

"I know. I'd still prefer to have a say in the matter before you decide things," Harry replied, meeting his Master's gaze strongly.

"Deal."

Again Harry was surprised just how easily he won the argument. It used to be impossible to talk to the man about anything. A satisfied smile spread over his face. Snape Acciod the bruise salve from the med cabinet and took Harry's hand to administer the cooling substance.

"You know, I can do it myself," Harry protested meekly, though he did not try to yank his hand away.

"I'm sure, you can," Snape agreed, spreading the salve over the battered hand carefully before turning his attention to the other hand. Harry enjoyed his Master's gentle touch and wondered, whether it was the bond, that relished at the physical contact or whether he actually liked being touched by Snape. Well, other than for punishment, anyway. Snape was not a physical person, that much was obvious. But it surprised Harry, that on those rare occasions when he did get in the contact with the man, it didn't feel nearly as awkward as he thought it would be. Well, he did feel tentative about falling asleep on Snape, now. But back then it felt kinda natural to lean on the man for comfort. And Snape was yet to make any snide remark about that.

* * *

Harry spent the day hanging out with Ron and Hermione, studying, talking about Quidditch and just having a good time. Snape gave him a day off. Yep, an actual day off! Harry was excited at the prospect of the free evening, though he made sure to do the studying Snape assigned him before, now that the bond was not bothering him anymore.

In the evening Harry decided to pay Hedwig a visit. He hasn't seen his owl for a while and he was sure, she was not happy with him for neglecting her for so long. He took a couple of pieces of dried jerky as a peace offering and made his way to the Owlery. Harry was surprised to find that the Owlery was not empty like it usually was. There was a small figure of a certain Slytherin girl sitting in the corner. She was hugging her knees, making her appear even smaller than she was. Her fierce energy was radiating in waves towards Harry, although Nalanell didn't appear to notice, that she was not alone anymore.

Harry cleared his throat to make his presence known to the nasty girl. Better to play it safe, before she decides to punch him again for sneaking up on her, or something equally ridiculous. Her head shot towards him and for a split second he saw a vulnerable hurt look on her face before it was hidden under the usual mask of exasperated annoyance.

"Potter, you again. Just the person I wanna see," she huffed, resting her chin on her knee with a pout.

"The feeling is mutual, " Harry replied evenly. His ego was still smarting from getting the fist in the face instead of a thank you. Harry couldn't understand why the girl seemed to despise him so much. Sure, Slytherins didn't like him in general, but with her, it just felt personal. Snape said, she was not close to Bellatrix, but what other reason did Nalanell have to hate him?

"So what are you doing here then? Piss off!" she waved her hand shooing him away.

"You don't own the Owlery!" he shot back, "If you can't handle to even be in the same room with me, then just fucking go somewhere else! I came to see my owl," Harry retorted hotly and made his way to Hedwig. The owl pecked him, as he attempted to pet her and he jerked his hand with a painful "Oww".

Nalanell chuckled, "I see, your owl shares my sentiment." Harry ignored her and offered the owl the jerky. Hedwig turned her head feigning disinterest, but in the end, took it and let Harry pet her.

"Are you done?" he heard Nell's annoyed voice and felt his temper rising.

"No, and no one is holding you here, Nell," he replied glaring at the girl.

"I was here first!" she shot back at him sulkily.

"Oh for fuck's sake, I'm going! Honestly, how can something so small contain so much hate and arrogance, is beyond me!" he snapped angrily turning on his heel and making his way out of the Owlery. Just as he was about to exit, he heard the girl catch her breath sharply and stopped at the uncharacteristic sound. He turned to look and saw Nell's shoulders shake in an unmistakable gesture of silent crying. _What the hell?_ Harry felt a pang of guilt. Did he just make the girl cry? But he didn't even say anything that bad! Nalanell was universally called a "bitch" to her face and she never showed any care. _Crap!_ What is he supposed to do? He's never made a girl cry before. Well, Cho did cry plenty, but it was never because of something Harry said. And it was especially disconcerting to see somebody as fierce as Nalanell cry, it was just so out of character.

Against his better judgment, he went back. He would rather get punched in the face again than to have a girl cry because of something he said. He put a hand on Nell's shoulderblade gently.

"Hey, I'm sorry," he said quietly, biting his lip nervously. Against his expectations, the girl started sobbing loudly. _Oh crap! I'm doing this wrong!_

"I didn't mean... I mean, I did... fuck! Don't cry, please," he pleaded, not knowing how to behave. This was completely uncharted territory for him.

"It's not that," Nell muttered between the sobs.

"Well, whatever it is, it's going to be OK," Harry tried again. The reaction was instant. Nala jumped to her feet, glaring daggers at him.

"OK?" she asked, her voice laced with venom, her eyes bloodshot from crying, "It's NEVER going to be OK! NEVER!" she lunged at him pounding her little fists at his chest, not painfully, but furiously, catching his t-shirt in them and trashing against him, as her shoulders shook with heavy sobs. Instead of pushing the little menace away from his chest, he wrapped his hands around her, pressing her tightly against his body in an effort to subdue her tantrum and offer some comfort to the distressed hysterical girl.

"You can't save me, Potter. Not anymore. It's too late," she wept miserably as she slowly stopped struggling against his grip. But Harry just kept holding her, letting her cry into his chest. He had no idea, what the girl was talking about, but he doubted, she will explain herself to him.

Finally, after a couple of minutes her breathing leveled out and she composed herself somewhat. She gently pushed against Harry's chest and he immediately released her from his embrace. She blushed, suddenly embarrassed for her display of weakness in front of the Boy Who Lived. Harry saw how uncomfortable the girl became, he felt pretty awkward himself. He conjured a paper tissue, non-verbally and wandlessly and handed it to the hiccuping girl. If Nalanell wasn't so busy staring at the floor, she would have been impressed by his magic. She accepted the tissue muttering her thanks and turned away from him. Harry took it as his cue and left the room quietly, not willing to cause the girl further embarrassment.

* * *

Nalanell was falling asleep during her classes on Monday. She woke up like 5 times during the night, due to the horrible nightmares, eventually giving up on sleep altogether. On Saturday Snape drugged her with an elephant dose of Dreamless Sleep right after the Death Eater meeting, but she was not as lucky on Sunday night. She kept dreaming of torturing and killing people in the name of the Dark Lord and then facing the disappointed faces of her grandpa, Cedric, and even Potter.

Nalanell shook her head remembering the previous day's encounter in the Owlery. She bawled her eyes out right in front of that insufferable Gryffindor! And he hugged her! _Just the way to start my Death Eater career...Dark Lord will be delighted._ She thought glumly. Of course, Voldemort can never know about it. She has seen enough torturous punishments to know, that she never wants to be on the receiving end of those. Her only solace was that she was confident in her Occlumency.

Nell made her way to Snape's office. She needs more Dreamless Sleep if she is to function at all. She knocked softly, but there was no response. Nala entered the office glancing around, but it was empty. She stopped at the door unsure, what to do. Technically she had no business being here without her Head of the House. But then again, not like she can't recognize Dreamless Sleep on her own, she can just tell Snape later, that she helped herself to one of his potions. He won't be happy, but what can he really do to a fellow Death Eater and the new favorite of the Dark Lord? She entered the office and quickly made her way to the connecting lab.

Suddenly she heard voices outside the office, and she quickly closed the door to the lab and hid away from the view. She heard as two people entered the room. Snape was not alone. She peeped in the keyhole to see, who was there with him and almost punched the door in frustration. If it was anyone from Slytherin, she would reveal herself and play it cool, but of course, it had to be Harry hugging, I mean, fucking, Potter!

* * *

"...I'm telling you, Acromantulas can totally be negotiated with. Aragog was always..."Harry argued as he and Snape entered the office.

"Potter, we are not negotiating with Acromantulas!" Snape snapped, his patience running low.

"Aragog is Hagrid's friend, they would..."

"Potter! We won't be practicing in the Forbidden Forest!" Snape huffed silencing the irritating Gryffindor with his hand.

"Of course, Master, whatever you say, Master," Harry replied wryly, crossing his arms on the chest sulkily.

"Stop sulking, it doesn't work with me. I know you have been in the forest far too many times, disregarding the word "Forbidden". But I'd rather not have us killed just to satisfy your Gryffindor sense of adventure. Now unless you would prefer to spend the next 20 minutes with your nose in the corner I suggest you wipe that pout off your face."

"You wouldn't!" Harry exclaimed, blood rushing to his face.

"Try me," Snape leveled him with a challenging stare and Harry immediately acquired a more compliant expression on his face.

Snape smirked, "That's better. Now, bring me the Dittany extract from the lab, I need another look at those hands of yours," Snape ordered and Harry sighed at the unpolite command. _'Please' got out of fashion Master Severus Snape Sir?_

"You know, when the bond is over, I'll just cast the enslavement spell back on you, and order YOU around for the rest of the year," Harry replied cheekily, as he headed to the lab.

Snape gave a short laugh, "I'd love to see you try, Potter."

Harry opened the door and entered the lab walking towards the potions cupboard. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Nalanell sitting by the cupboard with a panicked expression on her face. Harry opened his mouth to say something, but Nalanell silenced him with a pleading stare as she waved her hands pressing one finger against her lips. She stood up, took Dittany essence from the cupboard, handed it to Harry and pushed him gently towards the exit. Harry walked out of the room, feeling completely confused, on what just happened. What was Nalanell doing in Snape's lab?

"What's wrong?" Snape asked watching Harry's confused expression.

"Nothing!" Harry answered automatically and immediately groaned cupping his head, as the bond started punishing him with a headache for lying.

"You are lying..." Snape observed with alarm. He jumped from his seat and strode towards the lab. He opened the door and several thoughts passed his mind as he saw Nalanell sitting there. _We have been found out. She was sent by Voldemort to test my allegiance. It's over._ Without wasting any time he invaded the girl's mind with Legilimens. He needed to know! But all he found was a blank white wall. He looked at the girl with confusion and pointed a wand at her, this time saying the incantation out loud and putting more force in his entry. All he saw was the white wall that slowly changed to the potions lab they were currently in, but nothing to give him any information whatsoever.

Nalanell gave him a dirty look. How dare he invade her mind without her consent! Of course, she understood, why he did it. It looks like Snape was not nearly as loyal as Voldemort thought, he was. Not only he appeared to be training Potter, which would explain why the brat was using magic in detention, but apparently, they had some magical bond between them, which made Snape Potter's Master. And Voldemort had no idea...

Nalanell also realized that she screwed herself big time. It was not detention that she was facing from Snape, for being in his lab. The man is going to kill her. She frantically looked around trying to think of anything to get herself out of that predicament.

"What have you heard?" Snape asked the girl, his voice quiet and dangerous. Nalanell gulped. If she lied, he won't believe her anyway. She knew Snape, the man was not going to take any risks.

"Everything," she said, praying for an earthquake, hurricane, asteroid falling on Earth...just anything!

Snape turned to Harry who was standing and clutching his head in pain, "Potter, you really are braindead! I can't believe you would lie about something like this!" he was furious with him.

"She caught me off guard," Harry protested meekly. He watched Snape approaching him with determination and his eyes widened in horror.

"Jesus, not with her here!" he exclaimed, forgetting about his headache at the possibility of being punished in front of the girl.

"I will Obliviate her after," Snape replied nonchalantly.

"What?! No!"

"Potter, she is a Death Eater!" Snape waved his wand that sliced Nalanell's sleeve revealing her forearm. Harry watched as Nalanell covered her left arm with her hand trying to conceal the mark, with the same vulnerable hurt look she was wearing last night when he entered the Owlery.

"She got her mark on Saturday," Snape explained and Harry suddenly realized why the girl was crying. _You can't save me, Potter. Not anymore. It's too late._

"I don't think she wants to be a Death Eater," Harry remarked glancing at Nalanell and trying to decipher her allegiance. She looked so vulnerable and scared, so unlike herself.

"That's beside the point, Harry. She is dangerous!"

"But what if she ends up like Lockhart?"

"That's the risk I'm willing to take," Snape replied pointing his wand at Nalanell.

 _I've heard that one before._ Harry thought angrily. "I don't," he said firmly and without giving it a second thought, he cast a silent _Expelliarmus_ at Snape disarming his Master and catching his wand with his left hand. When Snape realized, what Harry has done, a look of rage crossed his features and Harry was instantly punished with a strong wave of excruciating pain. Before he lost his nerve, he quickly cast non-verbal _Petrificus Totalus_ on Nalanell, sending a quick cushioning charm on the floor, so that she doesn't hurt herself when falling. With a wave of his wand he shut and locked the door to the lab leaving the stunned girl inside. With another flick, he locked the entrance door to the office and cast a silencing charm around them. Then he threw Snape's wand back to him.

"You promised, I will have a say. Let's talk," he said resolutely facing his raging Master.

"First you lie and then you disarm me in front of a Death Eater? Real smart, Potter!" Snape bellowed angrily.

"I'm sorry, but I had to stop you," Harry replied, his self-assurance slowly leaving him.

"Ever tried using your mouth?! We could have been both dead now!" Snape smacked the table with his palm loudly and Harry flinched.

"Nalanell wouldn't..."

"Nalanell was cornered! In such situations, you should be expecting ANY act of desperation!" Snape admonished the boy furiously.

"OK, I get it, I'm sorry," Harry conceded meekly, then he conjured a wooden paddle and handed it to Snape, smirking slightly at the look of surprise that appeared on his face. Harry then bent over the table submissively preparing himself for the paddling.

"Punish me, and then we should decide, what to do with Nalanell," he said matter-of-factly sounding more confident than he felt. Snape snorted at being ordered around in such fashion. _What's this? Topping from the bottom?_

Without further ado he brought the paddle across the boy's backside smartly, taking some pleasure when it successfully erased that smug confident look off Potter's face. If the brat thought, Snape is going to go easy on him, just because he willingly subjected himself for punishment, he was in for a surprise. He won't have the boy lying to him and disarming him in critical situations. It was imperative for Harry to understand that.

Harry groaned wincing as the paddle fell down 2 more times, equally as strong, "Jesus, not so hard!" he complained grabbing the table to keep himself in position.

"Potter, you should never do something so stupid again, you just endangered both of us!" Snape scolded landing two more stinging swats.

"Yes, Sir," Harry replied through clenched teeth.

"I'm not the enemy, Harry. I'm your ally," Snape said, bringing the paddle down one last time.

"I know, I'm sorry," Harry apologized bracing himself for more swats, but none came. He looked up at Snape in confusion.

"Is the headache gone?" the man asked him and Harry just nodded in response. _What, only 6 swats? The old bastard is getting soft._

"So what can we do about Nalanell, other than frying her brain?" Harry asked as he pulled himself off the desk resisting the urge to rub his backside.

"I don't really see any other option, Harry. I don't know how else can we eliminate the threat. Other than killing her."

"But she doesn't want to be a Death Eater!"

"Of course, she doesn't. But she is!"

"Can't we... I don't know, have her promise us, she won't tell?" Harry asked feeling stupid at the childish argument.

"The Dark Lord doesn't need her to say anything, he will simply..." Snape trailed off. He couldn't penetrate her mind earlier. The girl apparently mastered Occlumency quite well. Maybe she actually could keep it from the Dark Lord... "Perhaps she could do an Unbreakable Vow."

"That's a bit drastic," Harry remarked frowning.

"Well, it's either that or Obliviate," Snape stated firmly.

"Well, at least, let her decide."

"Fair enough," Snape agreed, waving his hand opening the door to the lab and releasing the girl from the bind.

"What's the verdict?" Nalanell asked willing her hands to stop trembling. She could only hope, that Potter's interference improved her chances of survival and not vice versa. She was pretty sure, that Snape was not happy with being disarmed in such fashion. She prayed, that he already took his anger out on Potter and won't be directing it at her.

"We can either Obliviate you, or you will take an Unbreakable Vow, to keep our arrangement a secret and assist us when necessary," Snape told the girl, his voice a low grumble.

"How about a third option? I serve detention for going into your lab without permission, and we pretend this never happened?" she tried, giving the man a sheepish smile.

"A third option is Potter practicing a killing curse on you," Snape replied deadly, making Nalanell gulp and Harry glare at him.

"I'll do the Vow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The subtle BDSM reference was a private joke on the occasion of April's fool;)  
> There is a [ PICTURE ](http://i.hmp.me/m/1a930c5a3b9db6b05e8f5e6600227c3f.png) done for that scene by the wonderful Arkham Insanity. (if you like discipline art, check her out, she is awesome)


	11. Guilt

"I'll do the Vow," Nalanell sighed defeated. She didn't really have much choice, and it did beat all the alternatives.

"Alright, follow me." Snape then brought the two teenagers to his private chambers and locked the door, placing a couple of protective charms.

"Pray tell, Miss Cross, what were you doing in my lab?" he asked not even trying to mask his annoyance with the girl.

"I needed Dreamless Sleep," Nalanell shrugged and Snape looked at her with confusion.

"That's why you broke into my lab? For the potion I would have given you regardless?" he asked bewildered. He couldn't believe, they have been exposed over something so stupid! Of course, he couldn't blame anyone but himself for not locking his office properly in his absence, or at least running a proper check up on his surroundings, when with Potter.

Nalanell had the decency to blush. "I thought, I'll just tell you later, that I took it. Obviously, I thought, the worst thing I would be facing was detention or something. Didn't expect to find, that you betrayed Voldemort, enslaved Potter, and are preparing him to take down the Dark Lord."

Harry stared at her. Did she figure all that just from 10 minutes of eavesdropping?

"And since when are my detentions such a weak consequence?" Snape huffed irritated. His carefully built reputation should have prevented any acts of such foolishness from the students.

"No offense, Professor, but my nightmares were worse. And I needed to sleep." _And still do._ Though Nalanell didn't dare to voice the complaint.

"Why didn't you approach a prefect to summon me?"

"Didn't think of that," she admitted sheepishly.

"Obviously," Snape snorted exasperatedly.

"Come on, stop grilling her. What's done is done," Harry chipped in and received a glare from both Snape and Nalanell.

"Did you enslave him, cause he wouldn't listen otherwise?" Nalanell asked Snape mockingly.

"No, that was Bellatrix," Harry answered instead, crossing his arms on the chest. He just saved her from the Obliviation and girl was yet to show any kind of appreciation, she was just as spiteful and sarcastic as ever.

"So that's why you killed her? I knew it couldn't have been Potter," Nalanell remarked, slapping the table victoriously with a satisfied smile.

Harry scowled at her, "Because of my noble marshmallow personality?"

Nalanell narrowed her eyes then, "So, I'm not the only one eavesdropping here. What else have you heard?"

"Just that you needed a favor from Malfoy. What was that about?"

"Doesn't matter anymore," she replied dejectedly, casting her eyes down with a sad smile, then she looked at Snape with determination, "So, what am I getting myself into?"

"You are not to reveal our arrangement to anyone..."

"Unless they already know... like Ron or Hermione, or Dumbledore." Harry interrupted him.

"Under the penalty of death," Snape continued.

"But only till the bond is over," Harry said quickly watching Nell's concerned face.

Snape frowned, "I can't have my position compromised even after the bond ends."

"And you want to bind her for life so that she gets an instant death when 60 years from now she tells the story to her grandchildren?" Harry argued hotly. Nalanell just rolled her eyes. _Potter actually expects me to survive this shit and have grandchildren? That's cute._

"Fine, you are bound till we release you from it. Although I hope you won't be stupid enough to ever breathe a word to the Dark Lord because he won't care about the Vow. Not bringing critical information would be the betrayal that warrants a very painful death," Snape said, leveling her with a menacing stare, but Nalanell only glared defiantly in response.

"You don't have to threaten ME, Snape, I have spent the whole summer hanging around Death Eaters!"

Snape decided to ignore the disrespectful tone, "Good. Other than your silence you will also be required to assist us when necessary," he continued unaffected by the girl's anger.

"Doing what?"

"I need him to practice dark curses on somebody..."

"FUCK NO" both Harry and Nell exclaimed in unison. Snape suppressed the laughter, teenagers were so easy...

* * *

After Nalanell took her Vow, Snape poured them all some tea, spiking Harry's cup with a mild pain reliever sneakily, just in case. What? He still needed Harry to focus on the training. Just that. Not because he cared if the boy was in pain after the paddling. Not at all.

"Miss Cross, you need to work on your Occlumency," Snape said sipping from his cup. Nalanell looked at him surprised. Occlumency was one thing she was quite confident about and Snape failed to breach her defenses completely, so what was there to work on?

"Don't get me wrong, you are far superior to Potter here," Snape hinted his head at Harry, and the teenager gave him a curious look.

"But you couldn't break into my mind, so what is there to improve?" Nalanell asked confused.

"Yes, you shield perfectly, who taught you?"

"Bellatrix taught both me and Draco."

Harry snorted at that, "I guess you had a better teacher," he said sarcastically aiming the jab at Snape.

"Or perhaps Lestrange had better students," Snape replied with a sneer, then turned his attention back to Nalanell, "The problem is that when you shield completely, you give an indication that you have something to hide."

"But no one has any business rummaging through my mind," the girl argued.

"The Dark Lord won't see it that way. Of course, it's better if you don't give him any reason to invade you at all. But in case he does and you block him the way you did me, it will raise suspicion, " Snape explained and Nell nodded at the valid point.

"I will help you. You can join Potter on one of our sessions, he is yet to make any progress at all."

"Hey! I am getting better this year," Harry protested defensively.

Snape ignored the outburst. "Anyway, we still have our training session and since Miss Cross so conveniently volunteered as tribute, I think we can try something different today," he announced smirking at the concerned faces of both teenagers.

"It's time we move from defense to offense. Let's start with something easy. Cast Imperius curse on her, Potter."

"Huh?"

"You heard me. You don't expect to defeat the Dark Lord by stunning him, do you?" Snape raised an eyebrow at the reluctant teen.

"Well, no, but I didn't think you will make me use Unforgivables, " Harry muttered uncertainly.

"You had no such reservations when trying to kill Lestrange."

"But that was Bellatrix! She killed Sirius!"

"It's a waste of time, Potter obviously can't do it, " Nalanell snapped, throwing her hands in the air with exasperated annoyance. Snape did a little dance inwardly. Cross girl was clearly cooperating with him, goading the stupid Gryffindor into proving himself to her. Perhaps it wasn't so bad having the girl on the team. The whole situation might even prove useful.

Harry shot her an angry look, "Of course I can!"

"Let's see it then. Remember, the most important is the intention and concentration," Snape reminded the teen.

Harry raised his wand at Nalanell and hesitated. The girl looked beat and tired. Why won't Snape just give her a break? She already had to take an Unbreakable Vow, wasn't that punishment enough? He sighed and cast _Imperio_.

Which did absolutely nothing.

"See, told ya," Nell rolled her eyes demonstratively.

"Potter, focus. Enunciate properly and concentrate. You need to have the will to dominate somebody's mind to be successful. The sooner you manage, the sooner she can go to sleep," Snape instructed him as if sensing Harry's thoughts.

" _Imperio!_ "

Nalanell's body went meek at the spell, the usual annoyed expression on her face replaced with the compliant and almost a friendly one. Harry couldn't help noticing how much prettier she looked when she wasn't scowling.

"Smile," he ordered the girl and smirked when the girl complied. _Yes, definitely much better._

Harry gave a couple more commands ordering Nalanell to jump, walk or sit down and watched the girl obey with a sense of satisfaction. He looked at Snape expectantly.

"Test the strength of the spell, make her do something, she wouldn't want to. Give her a reason to resist," Snape prompted him, and Harry's mind went incredibly dirty at that. He blushed furiously trying to resist improper thoughts. Snape didn't need to be an Occlumens to guess what went through the mind of a 16-year-old boy.

"Potter, do control your teenage hormones, please! Unless you plan on never letting her off the Imperius I suggest you quickly forget whatever crossed your mind just now."

Harry just chuckled imagining getting punched in the face again and then an idea sprang to mind. "Apologize."

"I apologize," she said with a blank expression. Harry frowned, "No. Apologize, like you mean it. For punching me after I saved you during the Quidditch practice, and be inventive about it. Persuade me, that you are regretting it," he ordered the girl, an impish smirk playing on his lips. _Might as well use this opportunity to get revenge._

He watched Nalanell expression change slightly as the girl bit her lip, "I'm really sorry, Harry. It was very ungrateful and wrong of me. I just felt, I have no other choice."

Harry raised an eyebrow in surprise, but before he could question the girl further, Snape ordered him to end the curse.

"What was that supposed to mean?" he asked Nalanell when she regained her consciousness.

"May I go now?" she ignored his question, turning her attention to Snape.

"Yes, you..."

"No," Harry cut him off, "Not until, you explain yourself," he said firmly, putting a hand on her shoulder to stop her from moving.

"Well, use your brain, Potter!" she snapped at him angrily shoving his hand away, "How do you think the Dark Lord feels about one of his subjects being saved by the bloody Boy Who Lived? Perhaps, like setting a permanent claim with a Dark Mark?" she gave him a look full of hurt and hatred and turned to leave.

"Miss Cross," Snape stopped her, waving a bottle of Dreamless Sleep in his hand. Nalanell snatched it crossly and stormed out of the room.

Snape then looked at Harry. The teenager was sitting with a blank shocked expression on his face. _That's why she hates me._ He thought miserably.

"So this is also on my hands?" Harry said after a couple of minutes of silence, his face twisting with a pang of self-loathing guilt.

"No," Snape stated firmly watching as guilt started eating at the teenager.

"But Nalanell said..."

"Nalanell is having a hard time coping with her situation. She is blaming the whole world at the moment."

"But she is right, isn't she? Me saving her during Quidditch... it played a role, right?"

Snape watched Harry glance at him with such desperation in his eyes, he wanted nothing more than to deny it. But he was not going to lie to the boy.

"Well, it certainly didn't help," he said carefully and immediately regretted it when he saw the pain crossing Harry's features. _Damn it, I should have lied._

"First Cedric, then Sirius, then you, then Nalanell..." Harry stared in his lap muttering incoherently.

"Potter,"

"Cedric's dead because of me, Sirius's dead because of me, putting everyone in danger..."

"Potter!"

"All my fault. Should've never participated in the tournament. Should've never gone to Hogwarts. Should have just stayed in the fucking cupboard like the freak I am..."

"HARRY! SNAP OUT OF IT!" the dominant command brought Harry out of his trance back to the room and he looked at Snape with confusion.

"I swear Potter, If I hear one more self-hating line, or one more time the word "freak" coming out of your mouth, I will paddle you raw till you can't sit for a week!"

Harry just stared at Snape round-eyed at the weird threat. Snape should be jumping on the hate wagon, not stopping it.

"But if it wasn't for me..."

"Stop being so full of yourself, Potter! Not everything is about you!" Snape huffed in annoyance, "Yes, you played your role in everything, but you can't take the sole credit for anything!" he continued sternly. Harry was confused, was Snape scolding him or comforting him?

"But it was my actions that led to..."

"Oh, pray tell, Potter! Was it you, who cast a killing curse on Diggory?" Snape raised an eyebrow.

"No, but..."

"Then perhaps you killed your Godfather? Or gave Nalanell the Dark Mark?" Harry shook his head, opening his mouth to protest, but Snape was faster.

"No? Then stop beating yourself over it!"

Harry fell silent, sulking slightly at not being given the opportunity to speak. It was hard to argue with Snape when he was like this. But Harry still had one argument up his sleeve, that Snape couldn't possibly counter.

"If I tried harder in Occlumency last year, Sirius would still be alive," he looked at Snape expectantly. _What do you say now, huh? You were the one always complaining about how utterly useless I am. Try and contradict yourself!_

"Maybe," Snape agreed, "And maybe not. Maybe many more people would have died because Voldemort would employ some different strategy. The thing is, Harry, we will never know. But if we take all the partial circumstances in consideration then surely there are more people to blame for Black's death? Me for telling Black where you went? All of the Order members who let him come to the Ministry? How about Dumbledore for letting an innocent person rot in Azkaban for 12 years? Or Lupin, for believing the worst of his friend? I could just keep going."

Harry fidgeted on his seat, wringing his hands painfully. Snape did have a point. But letting go was just not that easy. "I get it, but I still somehow feel responsible. I mean in the end, he did come there for ME, so if it wasn't for me..."

"That's it!" Snape snapped jumping from his seat. He conjured a paddle and pointed the implement at Harry menacingly, "I warned you, Potter!"

"No no no... wait, wait! You are right! You are right! Not my fault! It was Bellatrix, and the bitch is dead!" Harry exclaimed waving his hands frantically and Snape struggled to maintain a stern expression at his antics. He kept standing and glaring at the boy for the effect for a bit before sitting down and tossing the paddle away. He saw Harry breathe out a sigh of relief and smirked.

"I just miss him so much," Harry said honestly. He wasn't sure why he was telling it to Snape. Not like the man even liked Sirius. But Snape was here, and he listened, and he almost looked as if he cared.

"Yes, but carrying all this guilt won't help to ease the pain. Trust me, I know." If Harry bothered to look at Snape at that moment, he would notice the painful expression that crossed his features and would probably wonder, what the man meant by it. But he was too preoccupied with his own grief to dissect the deeper meaning behind his Master's words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if Snape would win a "consoler of the year" award;D But as long as it works with Harry...;)


	12. Just like your father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware: Drama incoming;)

Harry knocked softly on the door to Snape's office and let himself in without waiting for an invitation. The man was sitting at his desk working as usual, but he was not alone this time. Another side of the room was filled with an obscene amount of dirty cauldrons and among them barely seen was the culprit of yesterday's fiasco. Nalanell looked positively miserable, wearing just a black tank top and a pair of jean shorts, her clothes, arms, legs, face and even hair were covered with smudges of green goo. She was bent over one of the cauldrons scrubbing profusely, her muscles straining with effort, her brows furrowed in concentration with droplets of sweat on her forehead.

"Wow," Harry said simply not even trying to count how many cauldrons were there. Snape had definitely outdone himself.

"Good evening, Mr. Potter. Take a seat," Snape greeted him without raising his head.

"Didn't know Hogwarts had so many cauldrons. Or have you sent a plea for help to Durmstrang and Beauxbatons to mail you their weekly supply?" Harry asked trying to suppress the laughter. The scene didn't even look as cruel, as it looked just plain ridiculous. Snape sure knew how to be dramatic.

"Miss Cross believes her nightmares are worse than my detentions. I'm merely trying to challenge that statement," Snape said leveling the poor girl with one of his evil smirks. When he is done with her, no other Slytherin will be stupid enough to ever dare set foot in his lab. Nell wisely kept her eyes in the cauldron and her mouth shut. Unlike certain stupid Gryffindor, she knew all too well that now was not the time to show defiance.

"Yeah, I think you made your point," Harry observed carefully.

"When she finishes all of those, I'm sure it will sink in," Snape replied heartlessly and Nalanell's shoulders slumped at the evening prospect.

"Come on, you can't be serious," Harry objected shaking his head slightly. Snape raised an eyebrow at that. Since when did he have to explain himself, especially his punishments, to the students and much less to Potter? As he opened his mouth to put Potter in his place, Nalanell beat him to it.

"Potter, you know I really love the sound you make..." Nala addressed Harry with a dreamy expression and the teenager turned to her surprised. _She LOVED the sound I make?_

"... when you SHUT THE FUCK UP!" she finished acquiring her usual expression. Harry turned crimson and Snape let out short laughter, masking it with clearing his throat. Perhaps he didn't need to put Potter in his place, the girl was doing it just fine.

Harry sat down at the desk sulking. As usual, his good intentions were rewarded with nothing but a snarky attitude. Was Nalanell even capable of gratitude? Any other girl would be happy if Harry stood up for her to the most feared Hogwarts Professor. Harry was catching other girls' sneaky glances on himself plenty this year. Well, he always had people staring at him, he was the Boy Who Lived, after all. As Fred once put it, "that scar was a chick magnet", but Harry never really appreciated it till this year. Being a slave was hard enough on his self-esteem, and seeing all those shy glances and flirtatious smiles of the girls, definitely helped. It was just this little menace, that never seemed to appreciate anything he did for her. Well, Harry was not going to waste any more effort on her. By all means, if Snape wants to torture her into oblivion, he can. He took out his Transfiguration essay and buried himself in work.

Snape watched Harry sulk over that remark and almost rolled his eyes. Out of all the girls that were tailing the Golden Boy in the halls of the castle, the boy had to take a liking in a Death Eater. Snape felt bad for Harry, whose Gryffindorish nature apparently did nothing to impress the girl. He was quite irked with her already for breaking into his lab and then blaming Harry for her Dark Mark and leaving Snape to pick up the pieces of the guilt-ridden distraught teenager. And now she put him down again. The original mirth he felt at her comment was swiftly replaced with annoyance.

"Miss Cross, I want a 3-foot essay on the use of a proper language in public setting by Thursday," he said casually. Harry didn't react, but his lips curled up in a smirk.

Nalanell blushed and sent Snape a sad puppy look, "I'm sorry, Sir."

"I don't believe it's me you should be apologizing to, Miss Cross," he remarked and now both teenagers were staring at him. He just turned his attention back to grading.

Nalanell felt the blood rush to her face in embarrassment. Snape was never protective of anyone but Slytherins and even there he only ever stopped the bullying, but let the casual bickering slide. Perhaps she was a bit harsh. She took a small piece of paper, wrote a short message, made a paper ball out of it, and charmed the ball to roll to Potter's desk. Harry picked up the paper ball that hit his leg with curiosity and read the message.

_Sorry, that was mean._

He smiled, wrote the answer on the back side of the paper and rolled the paper back to Nell.

_You owe me a butterbeer._

He turned to see Nell as she read the message and for once the girl nodded with a small smile.

* * *

Things between Harry and Nalanell got better after that. The girl sometimes joined their training sessions in the Room of Requirement to add additional opponent or distraction. Originally Snape wanted Harry to duel her, taking away his wand for balance, but Gryffindor was so reluctant to cast any offensive spells against her, the whole exercise was pointless. Snape needed Harry to be efficient and to neutralize his opponents fast, not run around for half an hour casting shield charms.

Nalanell was still snarky and sarcastic most of the time, but she didn't seem overly hateful. Harry got used to her attitude and learned to counter it with jokes or occasional compliments. Nalanell's scowl was severely lacking when she was blushing, which Harry never failed to comment on. During the training, she was Snape's loyal sidekick and always sided with him against Harry. Harry sometimes felt like he was dealing with two Snapes instead of one. Whenever he was being difficult, his Master would invite Nell for the next day and together they would bully Harry into anything. Nevertheless, Harry enjoyed having the girl around, even though she didn't join them very often.

In public though, nothing really changed, Nell mostly ignored him and Snape never let the opportunity slide to take away points or torment him during the DADA class. Harry didn't mind it all that much, they were keeping pretense and he understood it. Besides, whenever Snape went overboard, Harry would send him a hurt look and the man would make sure to be all the more nice to him during his evening practice, praising him for his achievements and whatnot. Of course, Harry had to be careful not to show how much more advanced he has become in DADA. Once he couldn't resist to show off a bit in Malfoy's face and Snape made his displeasure very known on his backside that day. Harry kept his temper in check after that.

Ron was not particularly happy about Harry's arrangement with Snape. He just couldn't understand why Harry spent that much time with him. Sure there was the bond and there was the training, but every single evening with somebody who treated you like trash? Harry tried to explain, that it was different now - that Snape was different now, but even Hermione gave him skeptical looks, though she never said anything. Harry was growing tired of defending the man to his friends.

October came and the bond was still there. Snape made sure to always be available on Saturday evenings to defuse potential breakdowns. When a month has passed, Snape just drugged Harry with various numbing potions before the teenager went into a full hysteria mode. Though Snape was ready to go there himself. He never expected the spell to last that long. He never even seen anyone on Servitium Incusabantur for so long. The problem was, that with the existing countercurse the caster didn't have to pay attention to the strength of the spell. When he grew tired of the slave he would just cast Finem Servitutis... or kill him. And neither option was applicable to their situation.

The first game of the Quidditch season was between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Snape made sure to tell Harry not to get injured because he was not going to waste days of practice in Hospital Wing. Harry just rolled his eyes and told his mentor to stop fussing so, which earned him a cuff to the head and the title "Brat".

Snape was watching the game with growing agitation. And it was not the score which favored Gryffindor that bothered him. Of course, just like any Head of the House, he rooted for his own team, but now he cared more about a certain player, that seemed to go out of his way to be a crowd pleaser. Whenever he almost collided with a player or an obstacle, the crowd winced and cheered, and Snape had his heart skip a beat. Cutting it a bit too close here, then a barrel roll, then standing on the broom, then jumping off of it to have a player pass and landing back on the broom, wait, was that just now a somersault? Snape was going to kill the brat. There was absolutely no need for any of that, it didn't benefit the game, Potter was simply showing off. Just like his father. Snape suddenly got a horrible case of deja vu. James was always a crowd pleaser too. He could practically see Harry fly pass the Gryffindor tribune with a cocky phrase: "This goal was for you, Evans," or "If I win this game, it's a date, Evans." Snape clenched his fists willing the flashbacks to go away and reminding himself that Harry was as much Lily's son as he was James's.

Harry was surprised when he felt the headache making an appearance during the game and it was increasing with each goal that Gryffindor gave to Slytherin. He looked at the tribunes trying to find Snape. He couldn't believe it. His Master was displeased with him because his House was losing? That was just so unbelievably unfair! Why should Harry be punished for the fact that Slytherin sucks? As the game went on, his headache only became worse, so Harry couldn't afford to prolong it anymore. He was aware of the snitch's location for the past 15 minutes, but he was ignoring it for the sake of the Gryffindor crowd. Now he couldn't disregard his headache any longer so he dived after the small golden ball catching it within a couple of seconds and ending the game with an impressive score. The tribunes roared, his teammates cheered, but Harry couldn't enjoy the victory with them. He was so angry! How could he be in trouble for winning the game?! That was just ridiculous! He gave a couple of fake smiles and handshakes and made his way to the dungeons to confront his Master.

* * *

"Why the hell does my head hurt?!" Harry greeted Snape at the door of the man's office. He was still wearing his Quidditch uniform, his arms crossed, his tone accusatory.

"It will hurt worse if you don't amend your tone, Potter," Snape hissed as he opened the door and let the angry teenager in.

"So, what did I do now?" Harry asked just as defiantly.

"What do you think?" Snape answered, his own temper getting better of him.

"Master can't take his team losing a game?" Harry replied with venom.

"What?"

"I can't believe, you are pissed at me, cause we won!" Harry spat throwing his hands in the air exasperatedly.

"Potter, don't be ridiculous! It's not the fact that you won, it's how you played."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Harry knew that he was only digging himself deeper, but he couldn't help it, he was so angry.

"It means that the game should have ended half an hour ago, but you just kept showing off! All those needless stunts, almost breaking your neck! I thought you are smarter than that, Potter."

"But this is Quidditch! Stunts are part of the game!"

"I told you I don't want to see you in Hospital Wing over something so stupid!"

"AND I AM NOT IN HOSPITAL WING!" Harry finally snapped shouting. Snape just narrowed his eyes dangerously. The man was impossible! How could he be angry at Harry for simply playing the game well? And Harry didn't even do anything! There was not a single scratch on his body and Snape was still pissed at him.

Harry demonstratively bent over the desk, glaring at the man, "Well, what are you waiting for? Beat me up. That's what you do, isn't it?"

Snape felt the chest wound open again. _That's what I do? Perhaps I should just walk away and let the headache eat you up!_ And he almost did. But that would be simply cruel. As much as Harry's words hurt him, he knew that the teenager was simply upset. Severus was the grown up and he had the responsibility over Harry surviving the bond. He couldn't afford to be hurt, he had a duty towards Potter, regardless of how impossible the boy was acting.

Snape conjured a paddle and gave the teen five solid whacks. The boy didn't utter a sound, only the whitening of his knuckles as he gripped the desk, showing the discomfort the punishment was bringing him. Snape waited expectantly, usually by this time there was already some kind of apology. But the boy didn't say anything.

Snape gave him 3 more blows and paused. Harry didn't get up off the desk. "I'm still hurting," the teenager informed him through clenched teeth. Snape just sighed and landed another 5 smacks, increasing the intensity of the blows in order not to prolong the punishment further.

"More," Harry choked out. _For fuck's sake! Just apologize, you stupid child!_ But Harry remained silent. Snape felt like he was indeed just beating the boy, not disciplining him. There was no remorse whatsoever. He paddled the boy two more times, this time really putting his arm to it to finally elicit some response and hopefully satisfy the bond.

Harry got up after that, his face was red, tears streaming down his face. Before Snape could say anything, the boy gave him a small bow, "Thank you, Master." The tone was polite, but the message behind it was anything but. With that, Potter stormed out of the office, before Snape could force the healing potion down his throat.

Snape just sat down, massaging his temples with a heavy sigh. He couldn't help thinking, that he handled the situation just terribly. Of course, Potter left him no choice. If the brat apologized, to begin with, maybe there wouldn't even be the need for further punishment. Certainly not as long or as harsh. But Harry knew all too well how the bond worked by now. He remained stubborn on purpose. But for what? To make a point, that Snape was a monster? Well, he certainly felt like one, now. He just didn't know what could he have done differently. Not care if the boy kills himself during Quidditch? Well, that was apparently not an option anymore, he did care, even if he didn't want to.

* * *

Harry made a stop in the bathrooms to make sure he looks presentable and not like a sulking reprimanded child. His ass was throbbing painfully, and he was sure Snape would heal him if he asked. But that would mean forgiving the man and he was not going to do that! He entered the Gryffindor common room, that was already in a full party mode.

"The man of the day!" Colin Creevey cheered flashing a camera at Harry, while others clapped. Harry made a mock bow and joined the party.

"Where were you?" Ron asked him, sipping on a glass of firewhisky, that somebody smuggled in the common room.

"Snape was pissed," he said wincing slightly as he sat down and took a glass from Ron.

"Why? Because we won?"

"Because of the stunts," Harry grumbled shrugging. He expected Ron to break in a tirade about the horrible evil git, but to his surprise, Ron only nodded knowingly.

"Yeah mate, you did cut it a bit too close too many times. My mom would go mental. But that somersault, that was just bloody brilliant! You have to show it to me on practice..." Ron kept talking, but Harry stopped paying attention. _My mom would go mental._ Was it really that easy? Was Snape simply worried? The man always made everything about the war and defeating Voldemort. Now he also told Harry to be careful so that his training is not interrupted by injuries. And yet Snape never told him he can't attend the party that always followed the Gryffindor win. Surely if it was just about training, then Harry would be in the Room of Requirement right now. Harry's anger evaporated instantly, replaced with a warm feeling that spread in his chest as he realized it. Snape cared.

But now Harry felt terrible for how he treated the man. _Beat me up. That's what you do, isn't it?_ What a horrible thing to say after everything Snape has done for him. All he had to do was to apologize for worrying him and promise to be more careful. Instead, he accused the man of being a sore loser, then yelled at him and then practically forced him to "beat him up". Harry almost rushed back to the dungeons to apologize, when he realized that he was holding a glass of firewhisky. He only had a couple of sips, but he was sure his breath would give him away and he was not suicidal. No, he will go to apologize first thing in the morning. He gave the glass back to Ron. There was no need to add to the list of his transgressions.

* * *

Harry was standing in front of Snape's office even before the breakfast started. The man was probably already up, sipping on his tea in the living room reading some potions journal or Daily Prophet. Harry let himself into the office and knocked softly on the door connecting the office to Snape's private chambers. The door opened and the look of surprise on his Master's face was quickly replaced with the usual sneer.

"Mr. Potter, so early in the morning. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Snape asked him, his voice full of sarcasm to let Harry know, there was no pleasure in his visit whatsoever.

Harry quickly reminded himself, that he deserved it, "Can I come in, Sir?" For a second Harry thought, that Snape is going to refuse him, but then he moved to let Harry inside. Harry joined the man at the table, giving him a sheepish smile when Snape poured him some tea.

Harry opened his mouth to apologize when his gaze fell on the newspaper that was lying on the table. The title said, "Death Eaters attack on Diagon Alley. 27 people dead, 12 injured." There was a picture of the Dark Mark in the sky above the Ollivanders wand shop.

"What happened?!" Harry asked with alarm.

"A raid on Diagon Alley," Snape answered simply.

"So many dead! Where were the Aurors? You didn't know?"

"There were no Aurors... And I did know," Snape replied sensing that this will not go well.

"What?! I don't understand," Harry said, the color draining from his face. Snape knew. He didn't say on purpose. He let all those people die!

"Potter, thankfully you don't have to understand it, because I don't have to explain it to you."

"How could you!?" Harry exclaimed incredulously. After all those times he defended the man to his friends!

Snape winced. _Great, I'm being judged by yet another Potter._ "Potter, I can't prevent all the attacks!" he snapped irritated.

"But you could have notified the authorities!"

"And then the Dark Lord would know, that he has a snitch. I have to be careful about how much information I let out. My position is too important." There he was - defending himself to Potter. As if he needed his approval. As if he cared what the boy thought.

"More important than the lives of 27 people?!"

"Get off your high horse! Not all decisions are easy and noble!"

"I would NEVER make such a decision!" Harry spat, letting his anger and disappointment show.

"Because you are so much better than me? You are just like your father! Feeling all superior!" Snape regretted the words almost immediately when he saw the hurt look on Harry's face.

Harry clenched his fists. _So we are back there then? Back to me being "just like my father", as if the past month didn't even happen. Perhaps I was wrong when I thought, that Snape cared._ "This is really a pretty weak insult, Sir. I love my father regardless of how he treated you. So being just like my father is a compliment if anything. I'm sorry you are now forced to spend so much time with that father's son."

Snape knew he should stop now before it got any more out of hand, but seeing the judgment in Potter's eyes was just too much. "Well, not like I chose it. I'm stuck with you."

"Oh, that's rich! Everything my fault, huh? Well if you killed Bellatrix just one second later, we wouldn't be in this mess! She would become my Mistress for that one second and then the bond would be gone! But no, you had to exact your revenge on the son of James Potter, didn't you?! Because you've just always hated me!"

Snape didn't say anything.

"ADMIT IT!"

"Fine! I hate you! I have hated you since you set foot in this school 6 years ago and then I hated you even more for your insolence, your disrespect, your absolute disregard for the rules, your stupid Gryffindor bravado! I hate that you are a spitting image of your father, your hair, your face, your smile, your attitude, your temper! I hate that you always put yourself needlessly in danger! I hate that you have her eyes, and ..." Snape suddenly trailed off knowing that he had said one thing too many.

"My mom..." Harry breathed out discerning whose eyes Snape was referring to. Watching the man lose his composure with an uncharacteristically vulnerable look entering his otherwise always carefully masked expression, Harry was hit with a sudden realization.

"You had feelings for her..." he stated with a shock. Snape's face twisted in a painful grimace giving away far too many emotions. What was wrong with him? He managed to hide his feelings for Lily for years in the presence of Voldemort and Dumbledore - two strongest Legilimens of this age! Why couldn't he control his emotions around the brat!

"You still do..." Harry uttered in disbelief.

Suddenly everything made sense.

And it was too much.

Snape remained silent, staring at the table with hands buried in his hair.

"I'm sorry," Harry said feeling incredibly uncomfortable and not knowing what else to say. Not waiting for a reply he stood up and left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ba dum tss


	13. Strangers

Harry felt like his heart is going to jump out of his chest as he made his way to the breakfast, that was about to start. There were already some early birds in the Great Hall, though it was probably the first time ever, that Harry was among them. The Gryffindor table was almost empty, save for a couple of first years that were too afraid to sit anywhere near the famous Harry Potter. And that was fine, Harry could use some time alone to calm down.

Alright, so Snape was in love with his mom. No, Snape still IS in love with his mom. The present tense made the whole thing just all the more tragic somehow. It's been 15 years since Voldemort killed his parents and gave Harry the scar. And Snape was still carrying feelings! Harry tried to see things from his perspective. The woman you love falls in love with your enemy and they have a child, they die, and you are forced to see the child every day as a permanent reminder, that you were not the one...Damn... _I hate that you have her eyes._ Because then it's harder to hate me when I look at you?

Harry groaned. Snape doesn't care about him. He hates him. He said it in such colors too. _My hair, my attitude, my Gryffindor bravado... just pretty much everything about me. The only reason Snape is helping me is out of memory to my mom._ Harry felt tears stinging his eyes and he had to blink them back quickly. He can't cry in the Great Hall for fuck's sake!

And that memory carefully stored away in the pensieve? Was it the humiliation that torments him, or the fact, that he called her a mudblood? Probably both. But that scene just got so much worse. And what if his father never cast the Levicorpus spell? If Snape never called his mom that horrible name? If she ended up with Snape? Then Harry would be Harry Severus Snape right now? _Oh God!_ Harry visibly shuddered. Would Snape still be a Death Eater? Would he still teach at Hogwarts, taking his anger and frustration out on students? Would Harry still be the Boy Who Lived prophecized to take down Voldemort? Well, it's just like Snape said. We will never know.

"Harry, you are early today," Neville said as he joined Harry at the table.

"Harry, have you seen this?!" Hermione threw the Daily Prophet in front of him. _Oh right, almost forgot about that._ Harry thought, flinching at the sight of the Dark Mark picture.

"Yeah, horrible! Listen, I still have to take something from the dorm. See you in Charms," Harry quickly excused himself from the table, not ready to talk about any of it. Hermione looked at him, surprised at Harry's obvious escape, but didn't comment.

Harry didn't feel like going back to the dorm. There would be Ron and more questions asked. As if sensing the need, the Room of Requirement appeared in front of him and he readily jumped in. Here he will have some privacy. It was a good thing that they didn't have DADA today. Facing Snape was the last thing he could do right now. Thinking about it, where was the man? Harry took out Marauder's Map, that he always carried with him, and checked his Master's location. Snape was still in his chambers. Well, he'll just have to check the map every now and then to avoid him. Although, they did have DADA tomorrow. Should he pretend to be ill? An excuse worthy of a first-year student. Besides all the fuss everyone would make about it was probably not worth it. Though Harry had no idea how is he going to withstand Snape's usual bullying.

Harry almost closed the map, when he noticed Nalanell's marker in the corridor passing right next to him, with no other people nearby. He quickly opened the door and snatched the girl inside, pressing her back against his chest and putting a hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming. Nala immediately started trashing against his grip with panic.

"It's me, calm down," he said quietly in her ear and when she stilled, he released her.

"Potter, what the fuck?!" Nalanell fumed glaring daggers at him, "Why did you drag me in here this way?"

"I needed to talk to you," Harry answered enjoying Nell's cute raging.

"Well, this is no gentlemanly way to go about it," she snapped.

"You didn't like me when I was a gentleman," Harry remarked chuckling.

"What makes you think I like you now?" Nell replied evenly.

 _Ouch._ "It's a work in progress," Harry said not at all discouraged by her comment. Though as much as flirting with her was fun, he didn't drag her here just for that. "Anyway, that's not why I got you here. Have you read the Prophet today?"

"The Diagon Alley attack?"

"Did you know?"

"Did I know what?"

"About the attack," Harry explained seeing the look of confusion on Nala's face.

"Potter, I'm more of a Voldemort's pet right now, than I am an actual soldier. I'm not even invited to the majority of the meetings. Why would I know anything?"

"Snape knew," Harry replied sullenly.

"Snape is one of the closest to Voldemort, I wouldn't even be surprised if he was one of the very few who did."

"But he didn't do anything about it!" Harry complained hotly.

"Potter, he can't possibly prevent every attack. I wanna see you try to argue with the Dark Lord! He already averted the attack on the Hogsmeade, he can't talk him out of everything, that would be suspicious."

"There was an attack on Hogsmeade?"

"Yeah, the very first Hogsmeade weekend in Hogwarts. It's when I got my Mark..." Nell trailed off, her face pained with the memory.

"Oh" was all, what Harry said. So that's why Snape was so angry with him when he went to Hogsmeade.

"What 'oh'? Let me guess, you went all Gryffindor on him?" Nalanell narrowed her eyes.

"Well, so many people died..." Harry replied uncertainly.

"And you decided to blame Snape? Good job Potter, I'm sure Snape feels better now," Nalanell's tone was dripping with sarcasm.

"I wasn't trying to make him feel better," Harry snapped defensively.

"Well, you should have! Honestly, Potter, do you even know what it's like? I have only seen Voldemort a couple of times, but every time I felt like I'm gonna pee my pants. And some people literally did..." she finished menacingly and Harry believed, she was not joking.

Ok, perhaps he was a bit rash in his denunciation. "He hates me know..." Harry sighed after a while.

"Shocking," Nell replied sarcastically without a hint of sympathy.

"Well, if that's all you needed from me, I'd like to still catch some breakfast. See ya, Potter...oh wait, I hope, I won't!" she winked at him and left the Room of Requirement.

Harry chuckled at that. Well, he certainly will see her, regardless.

* * *

Snape entered the classroom with a fast stride, robes billowing behind him menacingly. He glared at the class as he usually did, avoiding just one pair of eyes. The last thing he needed, was to see the judgment in them again. Or to be reminded of all the things he said to the boy. _I hate you._ Did he really? Of course not. He wouldn't be hurt by anything the brat said if that was true. He wouldn't care in the least. He felt a pang of guilt for losing his temper with the boy, after all those times he scolded Harry for it. _And now he knows about my feelings for Lily. How pathetic I must look to him now._

Harry was afraid to raise his eyes off the desk. He prayed Snape won't address him at all this class, but he knew how slim the chances were of that. In the end, it's just better to face the music. He looked up at his Professor and to his surprise, not only Snape didn't say a word, he didn't even look at him. As if his seat was empty. Weird.

Snape just went on with the lesson, making sure to avoid the Brat Who Lived To Torment Him. He still praised Slytherins and snapped at Gryffindors, but not excessively in order not to trigger Potter's protective bravado. He knew Harry's temper well by now, and it was better not to provoke it. The boy will make a scene and the public confrontation when both of them were on edge, was simply dangerous.

Harry was growing anxious as the lesson progressed and Snape was yet to acknowledge his presence in the classroom. His original wish to be invisible was gone within the first 10 minutes. He didn't like being ignored at all! He would rather Snape berate him and take points and just do anything that he usually did, instead of pretending he was not there. That hurt way more! Harry was playing with the idea of making a scene, do some "forbidden" magic, force Snape to face him. But what would that achieve? The man hated him already, did he really need to fuel that hate any further?

When Snape ended the lesson and stormed out of the classroom, Ron and Hermione approached Harry with a quizzical expression.

"So what was that about?" Ron asked him raising an eyebrow.

"Huh?"

"Snape didn't say a word to you and you just kept sending him sad looks the whole class. What happened?" Hermione watched Harry with a mild concern.

"We had a fight," Harry shrugged in response, then seeing the expectant looks on their faces, he added, "The attack on Diagon Alley yesterday. Snape knew about it and didn't say anything. He let it happen."

"Why?"

"Because he couldn't risk his position as a spy," Harry grumbled expecting his friends to back him up on this one, but neither of them said anything.

"That must have been a hard decision to make," Hermione observed carefully and Harry felt terrible again. When he was beating himself over Sirius and Nalanell, Snape was very firm about neither being Harry's fault. He was supportive, in his own way, but nevertheless, he made Harry feel better about it. And what did Harry do?

"But was that a correct decision?" Ron questioned furrowing his brows. Harry gave his friend a grateful smile.

Hermione considered it for a couple of minutes before saying, "Well you know, in muggle history during the Second World War, Nazis were using enigma coding for communication," seeing the confused faces of both Harry and Ron, she clarified, "Well the messages were encrypted, so that anyone who intercepts them, doesn't understand them. Anyway, cracking enigma was crucial for military intelligence and there were whole institutes working on designing enigma machines. But once successful, they had to let some of the attacks happen without taking action in preventing or preparing for them, because otherwise Nazis would realize the enigma was cracked and simply change the encryption. The whole work would be useless then and they would lose the source of information. Cracking Enigma was one of the things that helped Allies win World War II."

"Hermione, I literally have no idea, what you just said. Was it even English?" Ron let out an amused chuckle and Hermione frowned at him.

"She is saying that Snape's intel on Voldemort is more valuable in the long run than preventing the attack on Diagon Alley," Harry explained with a heavy sigh. He hated that he saw the logic in what she said. Because that made him just all the bigger prat. But what could he do now? He should apologize, but was the man even interested in his apology? Snape clearly didn't want to see him. He couldn't be more obvious about it.

* * *

Harry kept avoiding Snape for the next two days. His anxiety growing exponentially, bond torturing him with the absence of contact with his Master. He did meet him in the hallways once, but they just passed each other like strangers, avoiding each other's gaze. Thankfully tomorrow will be another DADA class, at least he will be in close proximity, and that should satisfy the bond somewhat.

"Harry, are you listening?" Hermione asked him breaking his line of thought. _Oh right, we were revising for Transfiguration._ He gave her a sheepish look.

"Honestly, why don't you just go see him?"

Harry didn't pretend, that he doesn't understand, who is she talking about. "He doesn't want to see me," he replied shrugging.

"So what?"

"Well, it would be awkward," Harry replied meekly. Even if Harry didn't accuse Snape of being responsible for the deaths of 27 people and if Snape didn't tell him, how much he hated him. There was still this issue with Snape being in love with his mom, and that was just such an awkward topic.

"Oh, Harry grow up! Stop being so stubborn! Your suffering doesn't benefit anyone. Not even Snape. What's with all the training for the past 5 weeks? Suddenly it's not important anymore because you and Snape had a fight?"

"If it's important, then he can come and see me! I don't want to go there and have the door smash in my face!"

Hermione just rolled her eyes with an exasperated hmpf.

Later that day an unfamiliar owl brought him a short message. Harry took the paper with curiosity. Was it Snape?

_When was the last time you visited your owl again, Potter?_

_Tonight, in the Owlery at 21:30._

_N.C._

A happy smile spread over Harry's face. It's a date! He remembered well, what happened in the Owlery last time when he saw Nalanell there. Well, it was not exactly a romantic hug, but it counted as one anyway. Harry felt his heart rate quicken with excitement. For all her snarky attitude and resistance, she clearly wanted to spend some time alone with Harry again.

* * *

Harry took an extra long shower and brushed his teeth like three times. He couldn't decide what to wear and in the end, just went with the school robes in order not to appear too eager. He gave himself a final glance in the mirror smirking at himself happily and made his way to the Owlery, making sure to be 5 minutes earlier not to have the girl waiting.

He entered the Owlery and stopped dead in his tracks. The one person he definitely didn't expect to be there, was standing right in front of him with his usual scowl. When Snape saw Harry enter the room, he pinched his nose and growled with irritation.

"Where is Nalanell?" Harry asked confused.

"Indeed," Snape replied impassively handing Harry a small note saying:

_I think your chambers might be bugged._

_Meet me in the Owlery at 21:20._

_N.C._

"Oh God, we were played!" Harry exclaimed, as he realized, that Nell never planned on showing up, "Why is yours 10 minutes before mine?"

"To run the diagnostic spells and set protective charms against potential ambush, I assume."

"Smart," Harry nodded, momentarily impressed with Nell's plotting. Then they finally looked at each other and for a couple of moments, there was silence.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," they both said at the same time and chuckled.

"I'll go first, cause I'm sure I have more stuff to apologize for," Harry raised his hand to stop Snape from saying anything. The man motioned for him to go on and Harry suddenly didn't know what to say anymore. He winged his hands nervously and then ran a hand through his hair.

"I... well, I guess I should start by apologizing for the whole Quidditch thing. That was just stupid of me to assume, you are mad because Slytherin lost. I might have been a bit more reckless than usual and I understand how it might have displeased you. Anyway, I'm sorry for what I said, about you just beating me and what not. I didn't mean it. I actually came to apologize in the morning. And... it didn't go very well..." Harry trailed off ungluing his eyes of the floor and peeking at his Master. Snape's face betrayed no emotion whatsoever, which unnerved Harry greatly. Severus didn't interrupt him and waited patiently for Harry to continue.

"And I'm sorry for being all judgmental. I mean I get it, you can't prevent all the attacks and it was pretty shitty of me to accuse you of being responsible for people's deaths. Nell said, that you already talked Voldemort out of attacking Hogsmeade and then Hermione went on about enigma machines..." Snape just furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Anyway, what I mean to say is that I get why you hate me and I'm sorry!" Harry finished growing uncomfortable with the badly phrased rant. He hung his head in shame, not having the balls to meet his Master's eyes anymore. Snape waited a bit, whether Harry will decide to elaborate a bit more, and when the teenager just remained staring at his shoes, he sighed biting down a remark about eloquence.

"I don't hate you. I thought that should be fairly obvious by now."

"But you said..." Snape held a hand stopping Harry's objections.

"I was upset and I lost my temper. And for that I'm sorry, " Snape continued, then seeing the surprised look on Harry's face, he chuckled, "What? You are not the only one with a temper, though I thought that I have managed to subdue mine by now." Harry gave him a small smile.

"Trust me, Potter, if I hated you, I would hardly spend every evening in your presence. But I find your company... tolerable," Snape cringed at the word, realizing how half-assed it must have sounded. He looked at Harry... and the boy just burst out laughing.

"Seriously? That's the best you can do, old man? Your apology sucked even more than mine," he laughed letting out all the tension that built up for the past 3 days. Snape scowled at being laughed at, but in the end, Harry's mirth became contagious, and he found his lips quirking up as well. Apologizing was definitely not his strong suit. Nor did he do it very often.

"Are you still going to train me?" Harry asked growing wary all of a sudden.

"Yes Harry, and you are going to make up for all the lost time too," Snape threatened, his eyes flashing dangerously. But Harry only smiled happily in response. "Perhaps we can have some tea at my place, which I assume is not bugged after all," Snape offered, missing their daily routine way more than he was willing to admit.

"Hmm... wanna spend some time in a TOLERABLE company of a remarkable wizard?" Harry teased with an impish grin.

"Brat."


	14. Halloween

"I went to see my owl," Harry said, making the girl in front of him jump in surprise. He was tailing her on Marauder's Map all day, waiting for a moment to catch her alone. Now he finally got an opportunity in the female changing room of Slytherin Quidditch team, where Nalanell was the only girl. Harry did cast a couple of protection spells to secure privacy for his confrontation. He was definitely not happy about the trick she played on him. Well, making up with Snape was important and he was grateful for it, but he couldn't help feeling cheated out of the promised date. Nalanell knew all too well, how Harry is going to interpret that note.

"Potter, I think you are lost. This is a Slytherin female changing room. Last time I checked, you were neither," Nalanell remarked coolly, masking her alarm over the fact that she didn't notice Harry enter the room. She almost undressed right there in front of him!

"Guilty as charged," Harry grinned in reply, "It's surprisingly hard to catch you alone."

"Then don't," she resisted the childish urge to stick a tongue out at him.

"Guess who is going to be in detention for the rest of the school year?" Harry asked with mock sternness, crossing his arms on the chest in the best Snape's impression.

"Oh please, that would make Snape admit that he was outplayed by a mere student," Nell replied rolling her eyes demonstratively.

"Why did you do it though?"

"Your mudb.. your muggleborn friend, Granger, approached me," she quickly corrected herself, remembering that she was not in the company of Slytherins, "She said you were having a hard time by being a stubborn bull refusing to reconcile with Snape and asked me for help. I have to admit it was not even a challenge," Nalanell sneered haughtily. But despite her usual attitude, there was an underlying message - she cared enough to help him.

"Hmm, I guess it will be up to me to punish you then," Harry commented slyly, and approached the girl, an evil smirk playing on his lips. Nell looked at him uncertainly, and took a couple of steps back warily, till she hit the wall. Her hand reached back instinctively to find her wand, though there was no doubt, that Potter would outduel her with his eyes closed.

"How?" she gasped panicking slightly at being cornered.

Harry put both hands against the wall, cutting out potential escape routes. He was so close to her, he could feel her heart beating frantically, as she caught her breath nervously. That's right, no more Mr. Nice Guy.

"Something tailored specifically for you, Miss Cross," he breathed out, his voice low and husky, leaning down and brushing his lips against hers in a soft gentle kiss. As the girl's body went meek under him and she melted into his advances, Harry's confidence grew. He cupped her face running a hand through her hair, pressing his body against hers, his kiss becoming more demanding, more passionate, more punishing. He was finally taking charge and doing what he wanted to that pouty mouth ever since she entered Snape's office during his first detention. For all the lip she gave him, all the snarky hateful attitude she demonstrated, this was the ultimate sweet revenge - having the girl respond to his kiss as if admitting that she liked him all along.  _How's that for a marshmallow?_

Nalanell's mind was torn with conflicting feelings. The surge of endorphins making her lightheaded, clouding her judgment and silencing a small voice in the back of her head, that kept nagging at her, what a bad idea this was. She found herself returning his kiss despite not wanting to, her body having apparently a mind of its own.  _Good Death Eater!_   _Voldemort will be delighted!_  But was it really so bad kissing the Boy Who Lived? Surely it wasn't any worse than helping Snape train him. No, it was not the kiss itself, it was her actually enjoying it, that was truly dangerous.

Harry finally broke off the kiss and looked at the girl still pressed against the wall possessively between his hands. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes half closed, her face without a trace of a scowl, wearing a pleasant slightly embarrassed blissful expression.

"I still don't like you," the girl muttered blushing further. Harry chuckled fondly. Nalanell was like a petulant child, that claimed she was not sleepy while yawning profusely. And that was ok. He will let it slide.  _Whatever you need to be telling yourself, but you just proved me otherwise._

"That's why it's a punishment," he said brushing her cheek gently with the knuckles of his hand and then finally stepping away, letting her breath. Nalanell felt both relief and sense of loss at having his warm body move away.

With a final glance at the flustered girl, Harry left the room, leaving Nalanell alone to deal with her conflicted emotions.

* * *

 "Headmaster, what were you thinking, trying to put on such a dark object! I thought it was only Potter rushing headlessly into action without a second thought, but apparently, I have to deal with you too!" Snape fumed berating the older man as if he was one of his students and not his superior.

They were in the ruins of the Gaunt shack having just found the Horcrux in Marvolo Gaunt's ring, and suddenly the old fool decided to wear the freaking thing! Thanks to Snape's trained reactions he managed to stop Dumbledore just in time before he put the ring on. Severus then quickly smashed the Sword of Godric Gryffindor against the Horcrux before Albus gets any other equally dangerous ideas.

"Yes, yes, Severus my boy. That was a momentary lack of judgment on my part," the older man admitted guiltily, amused at Snape's furious scolding that betrayed how much the younger man cared about him.

"That's putting it lightly! One can only guess what vicious dark curses where protecting the Horcrux! And to think you didn't want me to accompany you? You might have been dead by now, old man!" Snape snapped angrily. Honestly, as if he didn't have his hands full with one reckless teenager!

"Forgive me, Severus. I'm very grateful for your company," Dumbledore said, smiling apologetically, his eyes twinkling at the grumpy man, "How is Harry doing? The enslavement spell is dragging out longer than anyone expected."

"Yes, Headmaster, it's been almost two months now. I have to admit, that even though we found a way for the bond to work, I'm getting worried about Potter. He doesn't show it anymore, but he is scared, that this thing might be permanent. I don't believe this to be the case, but I don't know how long I can keep pretending, that it's normal. It's not, the spell should have run its course long ago. Frankly, I'm growing anxious for this to be over myself."

"Talk to him, Severus, offer encouragement."

"Albus, you know, that's not my forte," Snape replied wearily, "I'm trying to keep him busy with work."

"Ah right, the training, how is he progressing?"

"Impressively fast. He is already better than most adult wizards, I'm sure he will be accepted in the Auror training program. But he is still no match for the Dark Lord," he sighed glumly. Harry might be outperforming his peers and probably can stand his ground against a couple of Death Eaters at the same time, but it's not Death Eaters, that he is ultimately supposed to defeat.

"I want him to try Extrication Art," Severus remarked and then seeing the frown on Headmaster's face, he quickly added, "Safely of course. I will make sure, he understands the risks."

"I don't know, Severus," Albus objected, but Snape cut him off.

"We can't keep playing it safe, Headmaster. Surely, you agree, that Potter can't stand against the Dark Lord one on one! And that if we even manage to find all the Horcruxes. We don't even know how many he made!"

"I'm working on Slughorn."

"Work faster! He will overthrow the government soon and then it's just a matter of time till he takes over Hogwarts!" Severus argued hotly.

Dumbledore just sighed tiredly in response. There was nothing really to say, so he changed the topic. "It's Halloween tomorrow," he observed watching the younger man with a penetrating gaze. Sometimes Snape wasn't sure, whether Dumbledore used Legilimency on him, or his eyes had the ability to see through him by default.

Severus didn't reply raising his shields, as he always did when the topic became too uncomfortable.

"It is something you could share with the boy," Albus suggested with a sad smile. Again, Snape remained silent. He already played with the idea of taking the boy there and telling him the truth. Harry deserved to know, but Severus was not sure if he will muster the courage to do so. He was scared. So scared.

* * *

 "Follow me, Mr. Potter," Snape said finding Harry in the hall after the evening Hallowe'en feast. Harry looked at him quizzically but didn't question the man.

"I guess I'll see you later?" he told Ron and Hermione, "Or maybe tomorrow," he added, trying to decipher whether he was in trouble, in which case he often stayed in Snape's guest room for the night after the punishment. His head didn't hurt and he didn't do anything that would put him in trouble as far as he was concerned, but with Snape, one could never know.

"Am I in trouble, Sir?" he asked the man warily.

"Did you do something to be in trouble?" Snape replied with a raised eyebrow.

 _Damn, that doesn't help._ "Uhm, no?"

"Is that a question?"

"It's just that you always find something that I did, or didn't do, or didn't think to do, or should have done better or differently. I never really feel I should be in trouble, to begin with," Harry answered honestly.

Snape chuckled, amused at the boy's explanation. "No Harry, you are not in trouble. I want to take you somewhere."

"Oh, where are we going?"

"You will see," Snape said evasively.

They entered Snape's chambers and Severus, made his way to the bedroom. Harry stopped at the entrance politely, waiting for his Master to grab whatever he needed there.

"Come, Potter," the man prompted him instead. He was holding a herbology book opened somewhere in the middle. Harry stepped inside the bedroom uncertainly. Surely, Snape didn't mean to show him the bedroom? That was awkward.

"Come closer, it's a Portkey, grab my hand," Snape instructed, a mild irritation entering his tone. Harry then noticed that the book was opened on the page titled Lilium. He grabbed Snape's elbow frantically, realizing that this was about his parents. Snape touched the picture of the flower and they were pulled into the wormhole spitting them out on a small square somewhere outside.

Harry stumbled forward as he landed and Snape grabbed his elbow just in time before he fell.

"Thanks," Harry muttered fighting nausea that he always felt after using the Portkey. He looked around. They were in a small rural village, with an old church standing dominant above the small houses. It was dark and chilly outside and the streets were empty. Harry has never been here before, but he knew exactly where Snape took him.

"Is this Godric's Hollow?"

"Yes, Harry."

They walked slowly towards the Graveyard. Harry felt a weird mixture of excitement, anxiety, and sorrow. He has never been to his parents' graves. Why didn't he? Why has no one ever taken him here? Why has he never asked?

IN LOVING MEMORY OF

JAMES POTTER & LILY POTTER

27.3.1960 | 30.1.1960

31.10.1981 | 31.10.1981

_The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death._

Harry watched the tombstone feeling his throat constrict painfully. The grave was surprisingly neat and clean. Somebody was definitely taking care of it. There were flowers lying on the right side of the grave.

Snape conjured a candle and lit it up silently. He didn't tell the boy anything, simply waited for him to do the same. They placed the candles on both sides of the grave and watched the small flame burn in silence.

Snape then conjured the very same flower that was lying there and Harry realized that those were lilies, magically imbued to stay fresh. He didn't have to count them, he already knew there were 15 of them. It was Snape who kept coming all those years taking care of his parents' grave, leaving a single flower for the woman he couldn't let go.

"She was nine, when I first met her," Severus finally said breaking the silence and Harry felt his heart skip a beat. They never talked about it. Harry knew the topic was unpleasant and painful for his Master, so he never brought it up.

"She was beautiful, innocent and completely clueless. She didn't know she was a witch," Snape continued, a small sad smile playing on his lips. Harry listened afraid to breathe as if Snape would stop talking once he did. He always heard so much about his father and so little about his mom.

"She always looked up to Petunia caring so much about her Muggle sister. If only she knew how that sister ended up treating you," he said shaking his head slightly and immediately winced realizing, what would Lily probably say about how he himself treated her precious son.

"I was the one, who told her she was a witch. Petunia was green with envy when Lily went to Hogwarts. Apparently, she never got over it. She always called her a  _freak_ ," Snape glanced at Harry but the boy just kept staring at the tombstone.

"Lily got sorted into Gryffindor, I ended up in Slytherin, but we remained friends. She was skilled in Charms and very good at Potions. She was the kindest person I knew, always seeing the good in everyone. Even in those who didn't deserve it..." he trailed off not wishing to bash James Potter in front of his son. In the end, James did die protecting Lily... so he was way more worthy of her than Severus ever was.

"I lost her friendship after the incident you've seen in the Pensieve. It was not even the horrible name that I called her, it was my own fascination with the Dark Arts that ultimately broke us apart. When she started dating your father it was the last straw that brought me to the Dark Lord. And then..." Snape took a deep breath trying to subdue the slight trembling.  _Here comes the hard part._

"...I overheard the Prophecy..." the pair of Lily's emerald eyes stared at him in shock as the realization hit the boy.

"It was y-you? You told Voldemort?" Harry asked refusing to believe, Snape only hung his head in shame.  _Oh God! Oh no, please no. Why did it have to be you? Why did you have to tell me now?! It would be so much easier when I hated you. Why did you have to make me care first and then tell me!_ Harry felt tears streaming down his eyes and he didn't stop them. This was so unfair. The man, that helped Harry heal after the loss of his beloved Godfather, the man he only now grew to care for, was the one that ultimately made him the prophesized Boy Who Lived. It was Voldemort acting upon the prophecy that made the prophecy real.

"I didn't know, Harry, I swear! As soon as he targetted Potters I ran to Dumbledore begging him to hide you. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret it," Snape said, his expression tortured and vulnerable.

 _Carrying all this guilt won't help to ease the pain. Trust me, I know._ Snape was carrying the guilt for 15 years. Harry couldn't help but feel sorry for the man. Was it really just Snape responsible for his screwed up life? Why not blame Trelawney for making the Prophecy in the first place? Oddly enough Harry remembered Snape's own argumentation when dealing with Harry's guilt over Sirius's death. Just like Harry, he played his part, but he couldn't take all the blame.

Severus expected to see hate when Harry met his gaze. But there was mainly hurt and something else, something that reminded him so much of Lily. It was compassion.

Harry clenched his fist in determination. It was time for Snape to let go. He turned to the man and with all his might hit him square in the jaw, knocking him to the ground with the force of the blow.

Snape expected a lot, but he didn't expect THAT. He tasted blood in his mouth and several thoughts flashed through his mind.  _Damn, that hurt! He actually punched me! How dare he? He could be expelled for it. I should never tell._ But one thought clouding all others was:  _I deserve this. It's the least that I deserve after making the boy an orphan hunted by Voldemort._

Harry shook his fist painfully, surprised how much the punch actually hurt the giving party. "That's for making some really fucking crappy decisions as a teenager! And for treating me like SHIT for the first five years!" he yelled conveying his frustration and anger with the man. Then he brushed his tears away and held a hand to Snape in a silent offer to help him up, "Now you can consider yourself punished... And I forgive you."

Snape just stared at Harry in disbelief.

"It's time you forgive yourself too," Harry added solemnly, his eyes laced with sad understanding.

Snape was rendered speechless. The brat punched him for HIS benefit? To punish HIM, so that HE can let go?  _The IMPUDENCE, the sheer AUDACITY! I'm gonna... I'm gonna, just you wait, Potter, YOU ARE SO DEAD!_ Snape took the offered hand and Harry helped him upright. The man wiped the blood from his lower lip looking at Harry threateningly.

Harry couldn't help an amused smile.  _As if I didn't know already, how much I'm gonna pay for this._ And then it hit him.  _Oh god, oh god, oh god!_ He practically jumped at Snape embracing the man in a fierce hug. He didn't care if Snape was a physical person or whether he wanted to be hugged. Harry was overflown with relief and joy. His head was not hurting. Which could mean only one thing!

Snape felt his breath being knocked out of him for the second time in less than two minutes by Potter. This time with just as completely unexpected hug. The boy was gripping him for dear life and Snape felt his hands wrap around the teenager on their own volution.  _Brat!_ _Who said you can punch me and then hug me?!_  He didn't want to admit it, but it felt really nice. Nice and somehow right. And for the first time in the last fifteen years, he felt he could perhaps finally let go.

"Snape?" Harry's muffled voice addressed him, as the brat kept clinging to him. There was something in this salutation that felt out of place. Different.

"Hm?"

"It's gone. The bond is gone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tadaaa! Finally^^  
> Well, it's not exactly The End, because I believe there is still a story to tell. But let's call it a mid-season finale.  
> (Now we have Game of Thrones Last season to watch, yay, so excited)
> 
> I may work on something different now, or take a break altogether. But I do plan to return to this story.
> 
> Hope you liked my story.
> 
> PS: for those who didn't guess what was different about Harry calling Snape "Snape", it was actually the first time, he addressed him this way. He was forced to call him Sir or Master the entire time.


	15. Boundaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My head was swirling with plot bunnies for this story, so I'm picking it up again^^

Harry twisted his hand several times in a circular movement registering the dull pain that didn't leave his wrist since his fist had a private meeting with Snape's jaw. Seriously, the man had a jaw of steel. Harry was not as self-deluding to pretend like punching Snape was a chore, he had no pleasure executing. No, the truth was - it felt freaking good! His motivation might have been noble, after all the man did carry an excessive amount of guilt for fifteen fucking years, and providing him with some kind catharsis and then forgiveness to finally let go, was the right thing to do. In Harry's eyes, anyway. But there was an undeniable satisfaction to finally pay back the man for all the ill-treatment he suffered under him during the years. After all, if Snape was in love with his mother, he should have treated Harry better, right? He was an ass since the very first Potions lesson, and Harry didn't do anything to deserve it. Snape's hatred towards James Potter, though understandable, was a very poor excuse. So yeah. He does not regret punching Snape.

Harry looked at the man. There was a red swelling that will soon bloom into a rainbow of bruising colors if left untreated. Thankfully, they apparated straight back to Snape's quarters, so his Master... no wait, his Mentor, won't have to deal with any potential humiliation of parading himself through the castle corridors showcasing his freshly punched face. Strangely enough, Harry didn't see any resentment on that face. He was pretty sure, that being clouted by a student was not high on Snape's to do list for the evening, but the man was yet to address the issue. And he hugged Harry back. It could have been a temporary lapse of judgment from the blow... but no, rather it was a genuine show of affection and comfort, that the man was willing to provide. Harry felt his chest filling with warmth at the memory. If two months ago somebody told him, that he would be so happy from being hugged by Snape, he would have probably sniggered with sarcasm at the poor joke. But the truth was, that over the course of the spell they did become very close. He spent an obscene amount of time in Snape's presence and the original hatred towards the man soon morphed into tolerance, and then into some sort of affinity.

"I think we should celebrate!" Harry exclaimed cheerfully once they entered the living room. Snape will have all the time in the world to chew him out for his actions, but for now, Harry was still riding high on endorphins due to the end of the bond. He was not a slave anymore! If there was a single person who could understand the overwhelming relief that Harry was feeling right now, it was Snape.

"I guess, we could have some tea," Snape commented already waving his hand in a silent summon for the cups.

Harry made a face. Tea didn't feel nearly festive enough for the occasion. "Tea? This definitely calls for something stronger! Do you have any firewhisky around?"

Snape narrowed his eyes, "Potter, last time I checked you were underage."

"Last time you checked, I was still a slave. Come on, Snape. It's not like I never had firewhisky before," Harry argued unable to refrain from continuous grinning. The smile was plastered on his face ever since he realized that his head didn't hurt anymore.

"Potter, that's not something you should be bragging about to your teacher!"

"I'm not bragging, I'm not even informing you. I'm making an argument. As I'm sure you know that alcohol is never really absent from the House parties that follow Quidditch wins," Harry shrugged, not at all disconcerted with the information he was revealing. He was not stupid. All Heads of the Houses knew exactly what was happening in the common rooms. And while alcohol was strictly off limits and normally drunk students were always severely punished and their parents informed, during the House Parties teachers tended to be more lenient and turn a blind eye as long as no one got smashed, or caught.

Snape shook his head in disbelief. Potter wanted to have a drink with him as if they were buddies. That was just so inappropriate... and yet weirdly endearing. The fact that the teenager felt comfortable enough to not only suggest the forbidden activity but also argue quite bluntly for it, showed just how much trust he was putting in Snape. He was sure, that Harry would never offer McGonagall to drink with him... even if he was of legal age to do so. And that shouldn't feel like an accomplishment, but it did. Blurring the lines of appropriate behavior was probably not particularly smart in the long run, but Harry was right. It's been a very trying couple of months for both of them and tea just didn't feel adequate for the occasion. He walked over to the liquor cabinet and poured two glasses of firewhisky, or rather one glass and one quarter of a glass, that he handed to Potter.

"I trust I don't have to lecture you on responsible drinking?" he remarked raising an eyebrow at the teenager.

"Always in moderation, never on an empty stomach and always in a company of people you trust," Harry answered with a mantra that he probably heard many times before.

Severus hummed in response feeling weirdly appreciative from being indirectly called a person of trust. "Good. Because If I ever catch you drunk, you won't like the consequences," he added gravely. It won't do for the brat to think, he was not under scrutiny.

Harry only rolled his eyes, as he emptied the glass in one quick gulp grimacing slightly when the liquid burned his throat. Snape took a sip, his face twisting in a painful expression as the firewhisky stung his broken lip. Harry felt a pang of guilt from seeing his discomfort.

"Aren't you gonna put something on it?" he asked biting his lip.

Snape gave him an irritated look. How dare the brat bring it up? He should pretend as if nothing happened and hope to escape Snape's wrath for as long as possible, but the boy was as Gryffindor as they come. "I will," he said turning his head away. He didn't want to look at Potter's guilty face.

"Good... Cause I kinda need something for my hand too," Harry admitted his face growing hot with embarrassment as he twisted his hand demonstratively. He was not sure if that was supposed to ease Snape's own embarrassment or make it worse. Either way, he didn't feel like lying to the man, even though he was not compelled to tell the truth anymore.

Severus stared at him, his facial expression changing from concern to bewilderment to anger and eventually hinting on amusement. "Potter, do you mean to tell me, that you managed to hurt yourself when you hit me?"

Harry fidgeted uncomfortably, already regretting his decision to share this piece of information with his mentor. Snape took his hand unceremoniously examining it with way less care than he usually showed to Harry's injuries. He cast a couple of scanning spells and his face twisted into an angry scowl.

"I don't know if I should laugh or cry, Potter. Nevermind the sheer audacity from punching your Professor which is the ground for immediate EXPULSION," he finally gave Harry the pointed look, that Harry knew he deserved, "But you IDIOT, actually fractured your wrist doing so!"

"Oh," Harry's eyes widened in surprise. He decided not to take offense at the unflattering title. He knew he deserved Snape's ire. And the fact that the man got angry because Harry hurt himself only proved that Snape cared about him. Nevertheless, Harry felt no remorse over punching Snape. Even though the mention of expulsion did make his stomach clench unpleasantly, he was sure, that not Dumbledore, nor Snape himself would really consider it given the circumstances.

"It was necessary," he offered meekly in his defense.

Snape's eyes flared with indignation. He pointed his index finger at Harry threateningly, "Potter, if you dare to as much as HINT, that you did it for MY benefit, I swear I..."

"Save your threats, Snape," Harry cut him off before the man made any of his favorite embarrassing threats, "I did it for both of us."

Snape's anger temporarily subdued he raised a questioning eyebrow waiting for Harry to elaborate.

Harry took a couple of moments to think about how to phrase it better, and then he sighed deciding to just go with it. "I need you," Harry said simply, looking him straight in the eye. "I can't afford any resentment right now. I need you to keep training me because it's the best chance I've got at surviving. And if punching you is what makes things OK between us, then that's what I do." Harry waited for Snape to respond, but the man kept quiet, so Harry continued, "And yes, I did it for you too. It's been fifteen years, Snape. It is time for you to let go, and if providing you with some sort of retribution can help you cope with your guilt, then that's what I do."

Snape felt his chest swell with conflicting emotions of irritation and pride. He was irritated that the brat managed to convincingly argue his case to make hitting him sound like a good idea, for fuck's sake. And proud of how much Harry matured over the course of past months. It was not the first time that Harry proved to Snape, how much older he actually was than his peers. Unlike regular 16-year-olds, who had the luxury of worrying about pimples, Harry had a prophecy of defeating (or being killed by) the most powerful wizard the world had ever known, looming over his head. The boy was simply forced to grow fast. Severus felt a pang of sorrow for Harry's lack of proper childhood. Especially now that he knew, what Potter's home-life was like.

Harry kept looking at Snape for a good couple of minutes, till he lost his confidence at the man's continued silence, and dropped his gaze on the floor. It all made sense in his head, but since Snape didn't say anything, then perhaps it didn't make sense to him? And what if punching Snape was not actually something to make things OK between them? What if Snape decided that Harry is not worth the effort anymore? Harry felt as unpleasant fear started creeping into his carefully guarded emotions when he was suddenly pulled into a quick one-armed hug. It was over before Harry even realized what happened. Fleeting as it was, it provided Harry with necessary reassurance, that they were indeed fine.

Snape brought a bruise salve from the med-cabinet, whispered a couple of incantations on Harry's wrist, that he held with considerably gentler grip now and applied the salve carefully. Harry gave the man a grateful smile.

"Don't be too happy, you are not completely off the hook."

Harry's smile didn't falter. He didn't really expect to escape without punishment, he was just happy, that Snape wasn't angry with him. "Yes Sir," he answered politely.

Snape nodded in acknowledgment. "I guess we should also release Miss Cross from her Vow," he commented casually watching Harry's eyes flash with excitement.

"Could we do it now?"

"It's quite late, Harry, I'm sure it can wait till tomorrow," Snape said glancing at the clock.

"Please! I really wanna talk to Nalanell, she has been avoiding me lately," Harry implored pleadingly.

"Why? What did you do?"

Harry fidgeted slightly, "Uhm. I punished her," he conceded, a smug look on his face. "You know, for setting us up."

Snape furrowed his brows. "Do I even want to know?"

"I kissed her," Harry explained enthusiastically.

"I didn't want to know." Snape shook his head feeling annoyed at Potter's unabashed camaraderie.

"And now she acts as if nothing happened," Harry continued much to Snape's disgruntlement.

"Potter! Why are you telling me this?!" he snapped exasperatedly.

"Because I want you to call her now. And then just... go somewhere."

"Excuse me?" Snape felt the air leave his lungs. He surely heard the brat wrong.

"Well, you know. For privacy. Give me twenty minutes before we release her from the Vow."

Snape opened his mouth, and then not finding any words, he closed it again. He blinked several times contemplating whether Servitium Incusabantur had any known side effects, which would make Potter suicidal. Because the brat just suggested for HIM - the most feared Hogwarts Professor - to play a matchmaker to a couple of teenagers in HIS OWN private chambers, while he just  _goes somewhere_ so that Potter can make out?

"I think St Mungo's has a bed with your name on it, Potter," he replied dryly.

Harry chuckled, not at all discouraged by Snape's sarcasm. "Please. I just want an opportunity to talk to her."

Snape stared at the boy for a couple of seconds and then grumbling under his breath something about insufferable teenagers summoned an owl and attached a quick note to its leg. Harry beamed at the man happily and Severus felt an urge to cast the enslavement spell on the brat again, just to wipe that dumb smile off his face!

"Thank you," Harry squeezed Snape's arm in appreciation. Then he suddenly realized that he had been drinking. He subtly breathed on his hand to smell his breath and grimaced. "Hey, do you have any toothpaste around here?"

Snape's temper overboiled.  _Enough was enough._ He raised his wand and cast a wordless mouth-washing spell at the brat.

Harry was caught off-guard as his mouth suddenly started filling up with soapy bubbles. "Hey, what the... whoah" he gagged on the soap and spat the bitter saliva only to find his mouth filling with more alkaline substance.

Snape watched with satisfaction as the teenager fled to the bathroom cursing and spitting on the way. He heard the water running and smirked knowing it will do absolutely nothing to help get rid of the taste.

"Naaaaape!" Harry called gagging furiously, as his eyes started watering from the bitterness, while more and more bubbles kept forming in his mouth.

Snape entered the bathroom, leaning casually on the door frame, his hands crossed on his chest. "My, my what a sight to behold," he sneered.

"Pwease, mae it stoooop, ahhgh"

"Why? I thought you needed a toothpaste?"

"Dis is not.. a f...toofaste," he cried, pulling his mouth under the water stream in hopes to ease the bubbling.

"Oh my, I must have confused the spell," Snape mused sarcastically.

"Pwease, Im sowwy!" Harry growled in frustration. Severus chuckled at the poor articulation that made Potter sound like a 3-year-old.

"Hmm, I think Miss Cross will be here any minute," he remarked checking the clock.

"Wha, no! Enough pwease! Nape!" Harry turned pleading watery eyes towards his tormentor.

Snape narrowed his eyes threateningly, "I think you got under some kind of illusion that I am your  _buddy_ , Potter," he hissed sternly.

Harry shook his head frantically, "No, Sir, pwease! I get it!"

Snape let the boy suffer for another minute and then waved his hand ending the spell. Harry just kept spitting in the sink, till Snape handed him a glass of water.

"Lesson learned?" he asked the teenager raising an eyebrow.

"Yes Sir," Harry replied meekly. "You don't have toothpaste."

 _Apparently not._ Snape raised his wand at the teen again, ready to wipe off that cheek for good.

"No no no! Jesus, I'm kidding! I get it. We are no pals, I'll keep my shit to myself." Harry blabbered frantically before Snape decided to torture him some more. Seriously the man couldn't even take a joke.

"Are you sure you don't need any additional persuasion?" Snape commented, his expression highly unamused.

"No, Sir. I won't overstep the boundaries anymore." Harry answered soberly and Snape gave a barely visible nod in response.

They heard a soft knock on the door and both made their way to the living room. Snape waved his hand for the door to open.

"Sir, you wanted to see me? Oh, what the... what happened?" Nalanell exclaimed staring at Snape's bruised face. Severus cursed under his breath. He totally forgot to make himself look presentable before inviting the girl.

He ignored Nell's question and turned his attention to Harry. "Fifteen minutes, Potter," he said, giving Harry a look that said  _don't do anything stupid_ , and left the room closing the door behind him.

Nalanell looked at Potter in confusion, "What happened? Where did he go?"

"The bond is over, I'm not a slave anymore," Harry explained grinning.

"Congratulations, but that doesn't answer my question. What's with his face?"

"Uhm, that's a long story," Harry answered evasively. Nalanell narrowed her eyes tilting her head to the side in suspicion.

Harry didn't want to waste time explaining his encounter with Snape, he only had 15 minutes after all. "You have been avoiding me," he stated, his tone betraying a mild disappointment.

"No, I wasn't," Nell denied firmly, clasping her hands in front of her in a grip too tight, to be comfortable.

"Yes, you were," Harry pressed, "Why?"

"Potter, we are not friends!"

Harry walked towards the girl, till he stood right in front of her, just on a verge of invading personal space. "Good. Because I don't want to be your friend."

Nell raised defiant eyes at him, fighting an urge to take a couple of steps back and put the distance between them again. "I told you, I don't like you," she said and cringed at her quivering tone. Harry's smile proved, that she wasn't fooling anyone here. The temptation to flee the room was growing, but Nala was not going to embarrass herself further.

"I'm working on it," Harry replied raising his hand and tracing Nell's jawline with the back of his finger in a soft gentle touch, "Though it's harder when you keep running away from me."

Nalanell didn't flinch away. Her heart rate picked up and her face grew hot at Potter's proximity. She wanted to slap his hand away and tell him to stop taking liberties with her. And she wanted to stand proud and confident doing so. But her body once again betrayed her, growing docile at his touch, giving away her emotions. Harry must have picked up on it because he took the final step towards her, reducing the distance between them to zero. He cupped her face, fingers burying in her hair, angling her towards his face.

"I'm a Death Eater," she protested meekly, looking in Harry's eyes just inches away from hers.

"I don't care," Harry breathed out, just before claiming her mouth with his. Nala tasted so sweet, her scent intoxicating, her pretense gone and her body responsive. He pressed her closer to him as he explored her mouth with demanding urgency.

Nalanell was grateful for the tight embrace and not just because the beat of Harry's heart and the warmth of his body felt incredibly nice, but also because she felt her knees give out and her head spin with an overflow of endorphins. She would have probably sunk to the floor if he wasn't holding her. She pressed the thoughts about danger and impropriety to the back of her mind. She will worry about Voldemort later when she can think clearly again. She will explain Potter, how wrong she is for him and, why this is all a very bad idea. But not now. Now she will simply enjoy this, being desirable, being kissed, being his.

Remembering, that they are on the clock, Harry finally broke off the kiss and looked at his little captive below him. Just like last time, Nalanell was wearing a blissful, slightly embarrassed expression without a trace of her usual scowl. Harry decided then and there, that summoning this type of gentle expression on her, will be his favorite pastime. She looked so beautiful. Nalanell opened her eyes and looked back at him, her features morphing into a shy smile and then into a slightly confused frown.

"Why do you taste like soap?"

"Erm..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC


	16. Claimed

"Please no more... ow."

"174 to go."

"No, I'll die, ow, please! I learned my lesson!"

"Not yet."

"I swear, I'll never punch you again."

"Of course you won't. You won't dare! 160 to go."

"Please, enough!"

"Stop whining, Potter!"

"I'm not, ow, I'm just hurting all over! I won't be able to move a muscle tomorrow!"

"You should have thought about it before. Focus, 147 to go."

Harry let out a groan of frustration. There was simply no negotiating with the evil bastard. Snape was never pants in dolling out severe punishment, but apparently getting punched in the face absolved him from any sort of restraint or humanity. For the past 45 minutes (which felt more like 45 hours) Harry was sparring with a punching bag. Yep, you heard it - sparring. Snape said, that he needed to work on his blows so that he didn't injure himself next time he used his fists. It made perfect sense at the time since their daily training sessions already included a physical workout. Snape gave him a couple of pointers on how to form a proper fist, what his posture should be like, how to maximize the impact etc. When Harry asked him, where did he learn all that, Snape ignored his question.

Landing 500 blows on the punching bag shouldn't have been a challenge whatsoever. Except this bag fought back. Not only it kept avoiding Harry's blows, but it also had a pair of charmed boxing gloves, that flew around it and hit Harry back! It also didn't stop. Under any circumstances. For anything. So Harry didn't have time to take a break or to drink, or to even fucking breathe! It didn't matter whether Harry fought back or he was rolling on the ground trying to protect his vitals from the never-ending stream of blows - it wouldn't stop till Harry finished landing 500 successful hits, testing his endurance to the limit. The first 200 went quite well, but then Harry's muscles started giving in from continuous strain. He started missing his target and letting more and more hits pass his defenses. The next 100 left Harry completely exhausted and sore. The punches from the gloves were not hard, but they were continuous and Harry was sure, that he was already bruised everywhere! Snape called this an exercise, but Harry felt it was very much a punishment.

"I'm a wizard! I should be using a wand! You are just torturing me!"

"Physical force can be used just as effectively as magic. You can catch your opponent off guard," Snape lectured sipping on his tea while sitting comfortably on the sofa provided by the Room of Requirement.

"Well, then I already achieved that!" Harry snapped looking angrily at Snape's face, that didn't show any sign of previous bruising anymore. His momentary slip of attention was immediately punished with a punch to his face. Harry's hands flew to his head in an attempt to shield himself from further blows, but the gloves just attacked his torso again.

"Now we are going to make sure, you won't end up with a fractured wrist by doing so," Snape commented calmly watching the beating Harry was getting with an expression of mild boredom.

Harry was ready to scream with frustration if only he had any strength left to do it. "No wonder Voldemort likes you so much. You are just plain evil!" he cried out, missing another couple of hits to his kidneys.

"If you insist on continuing this exercise with a sore backside, I can certainly arrange that," Snape replied unaffected.

"No, you can't do that anymore!" Harry fumed indignantly. Truth be told, Harry would take a spanking anytime over this relentless torture, that Snape had the audacity to call "exercise".

"I can't?" the man asked raising an eyebrow and sent a stinging hex aimed at Harry's posterior. Harry howled in pain, silently cursing his mentor in 50 different languages.

"Apparently I can. Your defenses are rubbish," Snape remarked, an amused smile playing on his lips.

"And whose fault is that?!"

"Stop complaining, 50 to go."

* * *

#-&-HP-&-#

After a much-needed shower, Snape doused him with various potions for muscles and pain. Harry was surprised to find, that he wasn't sporting nearly as many bruises, as he thought he will be. His knuckles were battered and his ribs were sore, as the majority of hits landed there, but other than that, he was surprisingly OK. Snape asked him, where did he need to apply the bruise salve, but Harry only shrugged claiming he was fine. The man then told him to stop sulking and take off his shirt and then proceeded to treat his bruised ribs.

Since they both missed dinner in the Great Hall, they had the meal in Snape's quarters. It was actually a rather common occurrence. They never ended training, until Snape said they were done for the day, which often went into late hours. After particularly straining sessions Harry usually ended up sleeping in Snape's quarters in the guest room that was already often referred to as  _his room._ Usually, Snape let him sleep in, so missing breakfasts and dinners in the Great Hall was normal for Harry. And he didn't complain. His whole priority system did shift considerably. While Snape never really let him slack on his subjects, he did provide a lot of help on having them done in time, so that Harry still had time not only for the training but also for Quidditch and friends.

They were having grilled chicken with rice and steamed broccoli. As usual, Harry ignored the broccoli, till he noticed Snape's disapproving look. He sighed and then dug into the unappetizing vegetables with obvious reluctance. He ate half of the broccoli on his plate when he realized just what he was doing. He threw his fork on the table with a loud thud.

"Jesus, what is wrong with me?!" he snapped annoyed.

"If only I knew, Potter. My guess is, that you were dropped on the head during childhood, but I might be wrong," Snape commented casually Harry's sudden outburst.

"I'm eating broccoli!" Harry exclaimed indignantly.

"Tragic."

Harry glared at his mentor. "You broke me! I have PTSD!" he fumed throwing his hands in the air in exasperation.

"Yes, craving healthy food is one of the known side effects from Servitium Incusabantur." Snape didn't even try to hide his amusement anymore.

Harry cast him an irritated look. This was just like Snape to be all sarcastic when Harry was mad. "The bond is over. I shouldn't want to please you anymore," Harry grumbled sulking.

Severus couldn't help a fond smile appearing on his lips. Harry didn't have many parental figures in his life he would strive to please. So naturally, once Snape was placed in this position, Harry started to seek his approval. It would happen regardless of the bond. But Severus knew how uncomfortable Harry always was about this particular part of the bond.

"I'm sure, that by now you understand yourself, why a healthy diet is necessary, especially given your training," he offered.

Harry sighed again as he picked up his fork and finished the broccoli on his plate trying to persuade himself, that he was simply being responsible with his body and not just trying to win the favor of his mentor. Honestly, some things just didn't change. Harry could swear he still felt a tinge of headache whenever he was rude to Snape. Must be phantom pains.

"I will be absent on Saturday," Snape told him changing the topic.

Harry immediately tensed. "Death Eater meeting?"

"Not quite, though close. Lucius celebrates his birthday."

Harry's eyes widened in surprise. "Malfoy?"

"Yes. Nalanell is going as well."

Harry frowned. "She didn't tell me." Not that Harry was surprised. Nell was very reluctant to talk about anything Death Eater related. "I guess we will hit the library to research Horcruxes. Hermione already found a couple of books, that can help us."

"Do that. Albus believes there is definitely more than just one, that we have destroyed," Snape replied, his expression serious. "Though it would help to know how many there are," he muttered to himself.

Telling Harry about Horcruxes was a decision that he and Albus agreed on without an argument. Although Snape absolutely hated Dumbledore's tendency to include teenagers in things that not only didn't concern them but were outright dangerous for them, on this he had to agree with Headmaster. Harry had to know what he was standing against. And of course any information given to Potter automatically transmitted onto Weasley and Granger, and while Severus didn't have any expectations from Weasley, Granger proved over years that her sharp mind and dedication could be useful. What he didn't expect was for Potter to include Nalanell. Albus hesitated to even tell Snape about it, due to his close connection to Voldemort. Telling Cross was simply dangerous. And yet, Harry apparently trusted her. Snape didn't. But then again, she did manage to survive her Vow and she never once endangered them, even when setting up a meeting, so perhaps Harry was right.

"I was invited to Slug Club. Maybe I can find out," Harry contemplated, resting his chin on his hand.

"Of course you were. To think you have been hiding being a Potions prodigy all those years," Snape remarked and although his tone was definitely sarcastic, Harry knew that it was meant as a compliment. He felt his cheeks blush and not because of the subtle praise, but because he didn't really become good at Potions, he was simply using the tips from Half-Blood Prince. Hermione called him cheating. But of course, she would do that. She simply couldn't stand his potions being superior to hers. And while Harry didn't have any reservations about using the book, he did feel guilty for never coming clean about it to Snape. At first, he simply enjoyed throwing it in the man's face how good he became at Potions once Snape was not teaching it anymore. Since Snape never questioned him directly about it, the bond never forced him to fess up, and so he never did. And over time he became simply too embarrassed to confess.

* * *

#-&-HP-&-#

Nalanell set down her mascara and looked at herself in the mirror. She wondered whether she didn't overdo it. She was wearing a long black cocktail dress, that hugged her curves and complimented her figure. High heeled stilettos made up for her short height and made her legs eye-catching in the high slit of her dress. She had her hair pinned up in the messy bun on top of her head with a couple of strands falling loosely over her shoulders. Her black eyes were emphasized by a strong make-up and her pale complexion fixed with the art of contouring. Her neck was decorated with a silver pendant of a snake curling around a cross - a mixture of Death Eater mark and her family signature cross - a gift from her parents on that  _memorable day_  of becoming a Death Eater.  _Youngest Death Eater in the ranks... Yay._ She thought gloomily.

Nell looked at her bedside table and took a small paper rose from it. She smiled fondly remembering how Potter thrust it in her hand when they were passing each other in the corridor. He didn't even look at her, his gesture so subtle, it caught her off guard. She was in the company of other Slytherins, so she couldn't even look at what did he secretly give her, nor spare him another glance. She quickly tucked whatever he gave her in the pocket of her robes and retired to the bathroom to take a look.

Potter grew increasingly bolder after he was finally released from the enslavement bond. He randomly dragged her in the Room of Requirement at least 4 times over the past couple of days just to spend some time with her. He tenaciously ignored her protests and her claims of not liking him, silencing all her arguments with kisses. He even pecked her on the cheek right in front of Snape after they released her from the Vow! She went completely crimson while Harry didn't even blush, and she was too mortified to check what was Snape's reaction. Although given Potter somehow persuaded him to give them time alone, it probably didn't come as much of a shock to her Head of the House. Either way, he didn't comment on it.

Harry made good on his promise to work on winning her affections. It became harder to avoid him and plain impossible to keep him out of her mind. It was clear that falling in love with Harry was dangerous for both of them. Despite being confident in her Occlumency, she knew that Voldemort wouldn't hesitate to use her to get to Potter if he became aware of their relationship. How only did Snape do it? The man attended all of the Death Eater meetings while training The Boy Who Lived at the same time, and Voldemort was none the wiser.

The problem was that despite Snape's influence, he could do absolutely nothing to stop Voldemort. Her parents kept sending her regular reports on how things were evolving with the Ministry overtake.  _Once the Ministry falls, Hogwarts will follow, and what will happen to Harry then?_  If Dumbledore was right, then the only way of defeating Voldemort was to destroy his Horcrux first. Which they did, except Dumbledore believed there were more of them because Slughorn altered the memory of his encounter with the young Tom Riddle. Harry thought he could get some info by attending those ridiculous dinners of Slug Club. Nalanell felt very skeptical about that. She had another idea. That could just work out if done right. It was dangerous. Very much so. But she will not sit idly waiting. Today she will get the opportunity and she intended to use it.

With a final glance at her reflection, she made her way to Snape's quarters, where they will take a Portkey to Malfoy Manor. She knocked on the door hoping to be let in as soon as possible in order to avoid unwanted attention to her outfit. Oddly enough she was greeted with none other than Potter.

"Seriously, Potter. Do you live here now?!" she snapped irritatedly making her way past him. She noticed with surprise, that Snape was not in his usual black robes. The man was standing in front of a mirror and fixing a dark grey tie that was matching in color his suit.

Harry grinned at her before turning his attention to Severus. "Snape, can I live here?"

"Only as a potion ingredient," the man answered without turning his head.

Potter chuckled, "I guess I don't. You look beautiful, Nell," he complimented her, eyeing her hungrily from head to toe. She blushed at the praise, her hand instinctively moving to cover the Death Eater mark on her forearm.

"I wish I could be there to have a dance with you," he added quietly, brushing his hand over her naked shoulder, sending shivers down her spine.

"I'm not going to dance with anyone," she muttered grumpily. The last thing she wanted was to have some Death Eater's sleazy hands wrapped around her waist. Just imagining dancing with somebody like Pettigrew gave her a gag reflex.

Harry gave a small smile of appreciation. "Good." Then his eyes set on the silver pendant and Nala automatically covered it with her hand.

"Let me see," he said searching her eyes for permission. She put her hand down, turning her head away in shame. Here she was, all dressed up, wearing fierce make-up, but feeling ugly and soiled. The Mark on her arm and the pendant on her neck serving as a permanent reminder of her wretched status as a Voldemort follower. She felt a traitorous tear escape on her cheek and she hated herself for being so weak in front of Potter.

"Hey," Harry cupped her cheek with his hand and gently brushed the tear away with his thumb, "It's ok." Then he covered the pendant with his hand and Nala felt the heat radiating, even burning, her collar bone.

"Ouch," she hissed, giving Harry a suspicious look.

"Sorry," he smiled apologetically removing his hand. Nalanell touched the pendant, it was still warm under her hand, but she couldn't tell what exactly did Potter do to it. She frowned at Harry and made her way to the mirror.

Snape cast her an inquisitive glance, probably just as curious to see what did Potter do to her pendant, but too polite to ask.

Nalanell looked at the pendant and on the first glimpse, nothing changed. But then she looked more closely and saw it. The snake was still hugging the cross, except the cross was slightly crooked in a swastikal spin. The top of the vertical bar was widened and the bottom was pointy - it resembled a lightning bolt. Just like...

"What the... Potter!" she snapped turning furious eyes to Harry, who only grinned at her unabashedly.

Nalanell folded her arms on the chest and gave him an irritated look. "Cocky much?!"

"Just staking my claim," he replied smirking.

Nalanell felt her insides boil at his presumptuous attitude, but before she could put The Brat Who Lived in his place, Snape spurred her towards the Portkey on the table.

Harry cast them a sad smile, raising his hand in a silent wave.

"Make yourself useful, Potter, and go to the library," Snape snapped at Harry, his tone unnecessarily rigid.

"Have fun... or don't. I'll worry," Harry replied sending Snape an imploring look that could probably be interpreted as  _"Please, watch over my girl"._ At least Snape understood it as such and with a quick nod, he took Nell by her arm and touched the Portkey leaving Harry alone in the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC


	17. Party at Malfoy Manor

Malfoy Manor always felt like a rather grim place to Nalanell. She spent a lot of time there over the summer studying Occlumency with Draco and she never liked the place. Despite its wealth that screamed  _posh_  from every corner, it gave a dark and lonely vibe. But not today. Today the Manor looked splendid - lively, colorful, even cozy.

Snape and Nell were greeted at the entrance by Draco, who wore a mask of polite cheerfulness, that both Severus and Nalanell saw right through.

"Welcome Professor, Miss Cross, please come in," he blathered excitedly adhering to some artificial protocol, that was both cringing and unnecessary since it was just the three of them.

"Oh my, Malfoy, who knew you are such a natural at being a doorman," Nalanell jabbed with sarcasm rolling her eyes. Draco's fake smile lost the remnants of its believability.

"Damn shorty, all dressed up. One could almost mistake you for a woman," he retorted mockingly, yet offering his arm because his father would expect nothing less.

"Don't worry, Malfoy, no one would mistake YOU for a gentleman. You look exactly like the asshole you are," she replied sweetly eliciting a fierce scowl from Draco and a "tsking" sound from Snape.

"Sorry Sir," she smiled just as sweetly at Severus proving how ingenuine that apology was.

Nevertheless, she took the proffered Malfoy's arm, because her parents would expect nothing less as well, and because the heels were too high not to accept the support. Falling flat in front of a room full of Death Eaters would not only bring obvious displeasure of her parents but would also be outright embarrassing.

They entered the main hall, which looked even more festive than the rest of the house. The walls were covered with a stream of candles giving the room a pleasant cozy glow. The ceiling was decorated with huge crystal chandelier, that wasn't there before. The big long table, which was always used for the meetings, was filled with food and richly decorated with flowers. This time it was positioned on the side of the hall leaving enough room for the dancing floor. No one sat at the table yet. People were scattered all over the hall in small groups, holding glasses of champaign, lighthearted chatter and laughing overshadowing the classical music in the background. It looked almost... normal. As if it wasn't a party where the majority of guests were vicious Death Eaters, but a regular birthday celebration.

Nala let go of Malfoy's arm with a polite curtsy and made her way to greet her parents. She got an assessing staredown by her mother that made her feel nauseous. If this outfit didn't please her, then nothing would. But apparently, the dress was approved and Anantra treated her to a fake smile, which was even worse than Draco's. Theodor then gave her a cold peck on her forehead, that lacked any affection whatsoever. Nalanell felt her insides twist painfully with an incredible sense of loss. It was these times when she missed her grandfather the most. He might have been strict and unbending, but he genuinely loved her. Her parents' insincere touch only made her sick to her stomach.

With the arrival of Voldemort, the temperature in the room dropped several degrees. The aura the man radiated was both alluring in its power and horrifying in its threatening chilliness. The hum of the friendly prattle stopped as if on cue, all eyes reverting to the entrance where Voldemort stood alongside Lucius. Apparently, Draco was not entrusted with greeting a guest of such importance. Though Nalanell was sure the younger Malfoy was only glad to be spared from that particular task.

After everyone paid their respects to  _the king,_ they were invited to the table. Nalanell noticed that her parents were seated two seats closer to Voldemort, which indicated the elevated status they got since Nalanell became a Death Eater. The smug arrogance on their faces made her cringe. She felt an urge to make some embarrassing faux pas, just to remove that self-satisfied sneer... but she was not suicidal. So instead she adapted her usual look of a well-behaved daughter and an eager to please ambitious Death Eater.

The dinner was very much like Death Eater meetings. The  _work_ was not discussed, but the main topic remained the critique of modern society, where  _muggle-born scum_  was given the same rights as noble purebloods. The women mostly remained quiet except for agreeable nods and loud fake exclamations whenever something particularly  _disturbing_  was being said. Nalanell kept quiet, it was not her time nor place to speak. She didn't want to draw any unnecessary attention to herself. She planned to drop the bomb later on when the party moved to the dance floor leaving at the table only dedicated non-dancers which will surely include both Snape and Voldemort. And that was all she needed.

And sure enough, that's exactly where the evening progressed to. The music changed to dancing tunes and with increasing levels of alcohol in blood the atmosphere loosened up again. Nalanell had to resolve to a timely bathroom escape several times when she caught a dedicated stare in her direction. She was not lying earlier about her unwillingness to dance, but she knew she couldn't very well turn anyone down once asked, so she had to keep alert and avoid any potential invitations. Funnily enough, she felt like Snape was trying to do the same, but at a much worse success rate. None of the ladies present dared to ask Voldemort to dance, but all of them felt obligated to share at least one dance with his Right Hand. Nalanell watched with amusement, how Severus tried to excuse himself when seeing an approaching woman but was never fast enough. So now again he was dancing with her mother, his irritation masked with polite attentiveness. Snape was good at it. If she didn't know him so well, she would fall for it, just as her mother was doing right now.

Finally, the song ended and Severus made his way back to the table in hopes for a short reprieve, his expression without a trace of annoyance he was feeling. Not that he didn't expect this, but he hoped that Lucius would be on the receiving end of the majority of unwanted female attention. But it was as if being a bachelor made all the married ladies feel it's their duty to provide him with a dance partner. And now he saw Nalanell approaching him with a determined look on her face. He sent her a murderous glare, that promised severe punishments if she dared to ask him to dance. However, Nalanell gave him a small smile a sat next to him nonchalantly.

"Don't you find this type of festivities to be a rather mundane pastime, Professor?" she asked watching the pairs dancing on the floor. Severus gave her an inquiring look, but Nalanell ignored it acting as if she was simply making small talk.

"It is a perfectly adequate celebration for one's 40th birthday," he replied impassively. If Nalanell wanted to discredit Malfoys in front of Voldemort, she would have to find other allies for that.

"Perhaps, but there's just so many other things to do. So much to learn, so much to achieve. And so little time for it. If only our lifespan wasn't as finite. Then there would be time to properly appreciate even the mundane," she polemized philosophically carefully checking if she caught the attention of Voldemort. She did. He didn't look at them, but she was sure he was listening.

Severus felt his heart rate pick up. He had a distinctive hunch, where Nalanell was going with this and he really, REALLY didn't like it.

"What would you do Professor, if your time wasn't limited?" Nalanell asked him turning towards Snape with an excited expression. Severus gave her a careful glance. The girl played her part of "young, ambitious and eager" very well.

"I guess, I'd have more time for the Potions research. I always felt like their battle potential was largely overlooked," Severus answered knowing their conversation was not private anymore.

"That's so true. Potions are so often underappreciated, and yet they can be such powerful tools. Say, Professor, is there a Potion that could provide one with more time? Or even make one immortal?" Nalanell inquired, her form trembling slightly, from what appeared to be excitement, but Severus knew exactly why Nell was trembling and he gave her like tenth warning look. Which she ignored just like nine previous ones.

"There is an Elixir of Life, Miss Cross. You will learn about it in your 7th Year. However, I'm afraid the ingredient for creating this particular potion is no longer obtainable," he lectured calmly, despite feeling anything but.

Nalanell frowned at him, her expression betraying furious disappointment as if it was his fault the Philosopher stone was no longer on the table. "Well, is there no other way?" she asked giving him a cute pout. Severus has had it with her. He pushed into her mind fully intending to tell her to shut the fuck up. He felt her barriers falter offering him to feel her excitement on the matter. He felt a tinge of pride over Nalanell's improved skill. They did practice Occlumency a couple of times. Nala was not shielding everything anymore, she learned to withhold certain information and push stuff she wanted the intruder to see. But despite Nell's carefully prepared act, Snape was not ready to risk everything on it.

"Not that I know off, Miss Cross," he said firmly giving her yet another "stand down" glance.

"Now Severus, you disappoint me..." Snape felt the shiver running down his spine at Voldemort's hiss.  _Oh great. Nalanell is going to kill us all._ "I would expect more from somebody with such knowledge in Dark Arts." Voldemort didn't look exactly displeased. Perhaps mildly amused, though with him it was never clear, and being afraid was a "safe call" regardless of what emotion the Dark Lord was displaying at the moment.

"My Lord, I merely meant from means available to..."

"Master, is there a way for immortality through the means of Dark Magic?" Nalanell cut Snape off addressing Voldemort, eyes flashing with adoration. Severus was rendered speechless for being so rudely interrupted in Dark Lord's presence. And by a newbie teenage Death Eater, nonetheless.  _Well, I guess Nalanell only means to kill ME then._

While Snape was already analyzing the probability of death scenarios and figuring potential escape routes, Voldemort's attention was fully on Nell. His lips curled into an appreciative smile, his fingers brushing over his chin, the gesture so subtle and yet so unnerving.

"Yes child, as long as you are willing to part ways with a piece of your soul. Nothing comes without a sacrifice," Voldemort's tone was a low grumble that was both captivating and horrifying. Nell felt her heart rate pick up, the Dark Lord was buying her bait.

"If that ensures, that I cannot be killed? Who wouldn't?" she sang with a cocky smile.

Voldemort gave a short laugh, "The impetuousness of youth," he remarked fondly. "But there is more to it. Would you just as readily take the life of an innocent?"

Nalanell frowned slightly as she pretended to give it some thought. "No one is truly innocent. Besides as long as it is worth it, I would do whatever it takes," she stated with an expression of serious determination.

It worked. Voldemort was pleased with her answer. She felt Snape's gaze burning her neck, but she was already too far gone to back off now, so she prepared to drop the final bomb.

"But would one piece truly ensure immortality? Isn't it better to do it multiple times?"

As soon as the words left her mouth she felt a strong intrusion into her mind, she dropped her defenses instantly, because it was just so incredibly painful. It was nothing like Snape's gentle probing, Voldemort was straightforward and punishing in his demands. Nalanell did exactly the same thing she did before with Snape, pushed all her emotions in front hoping Voldemort will interpret her feelings according to what he wanted to see.

Just as fast as he entered, he withdrew from her mind, a satisfied smile reappearing on his lips. "Clever girl, " he praised her, his voice a pleasing hissing timbre. Nalanell felt slightly dizzy. Was he happy because he figured her out, or because he bought her bluff and liked her argumentation?

"It is," he admitted, his smile not faltering.

"How many? The more the better or is there a definite number?" she asked almost flirtatiously. Severus was watching their exchange nearly forgetting to breathe.

"I always felt there was magic in numbers."

 _A magical number?_ "Like seven?" she shot wildly.

She knew she hit the jackpot when Voldemort's eyes flashed ever so slightly before his smile grew even wider. "Exactly like seven, Miss Cross."

Nalanell used all her remaining self-control not to exhale with relief. Instead, she turned to check the dance floor and noticed that the dancing, in fact, died out and everyone was subtly listening onto their conversation. It was not that they could hear what they were talking about, but they saw how fondly Voldemort was addressing her. Her parents were virtually glowing, while others gave her various looks that ranged from envy to suspicion, to outright animosity. Of course, to anyone else, she was shamelessly climbing her rank, and quite successfully by the looks of it. She noticed that Lucius was hissing something sharply at Draco, giving him a firm nudge in her direction.

"May I have the next dance, Miss Cross," Draco asked her with a slight bow as he approached the table. He was wearing a shy smile that could almost be interpreted as one of genuine affection if Nalanell didn't know better. She glanced at her parents, who were giving her such a fierce look, practically daring her to disobey. And for a moment she wanted to do just that. Malfoy would never live that down. But she also knew that Voldemort's attention was still on her, so she accepted Draco's proffered hand and followed him to the dance floor.

Draco wrapped his hand around her waist and pulled her towards his body, angling her slightly to the side with practiced ease. Nalanell never had dancing lessons, but it was clear as a day, that Draco did. Not only due to the finesse of his posture but also due to the fact that he was leading her with firm confidence, not that any leading was necessary for a slow dance.

"You are such a wuss, Malfoy. Always have to please your daddy?" she asked, giving him a sweet smile, in case anyone was watching... and sure enough both their parents were doing just that.

"Shut up, shorty. If anyone was acing rectal alpinism today, it is you," Malfoy retorted, his cheeks blushing slightly.

"Jelly bitch?" she spat laughing. Malfoy lost his composure for a second, then catching his father's gaze, he quickly pulled himself together and pressed Nalanell closer to his body in one sharp movement, momentarily knocking her breath out.

"Damn Draco, that's no way to woo a lady," she laughed again.

He furrowed his brows an arrogant smirk creeping onto his lips, "Dressing up doesn't make you a lady, Cross. And you sure as hell are not my type."

"My hair not curly enough?" she sang sweetly hitting a second jackpot today. Malfoy pretended like he didn't understand. But Nalanell wasn't ready to let go, she felt on fire today. "I wonder what you would look like with red hair. Perhaps she would notice you then." She watched with satisfaction as Draco blushed deeper red, his hand clenching hers in a painful grip.

"You fucking talk too much, Cross," he hissed through gritted teeth.

Nalanell wouldn't be a Slytherin if she didn't know when to shut up. Having her fingers crushed was indication enough to back off.

"Don't worry, with Pansy's incessant presence, no one would guess," she offered, twisting her hand to ease the grip. He gave her an irritated look as if saying " _you just did"._

"Don't even talk about Parkinson," he spat cringing, "There is just no escape from her anymore. And it's all your fault by the way."

"Huh? I wasn't the one to glue her to you!"

Draco shook his head slightly. "I told her to take the mark..."

Nalanell's eyes widened in surprise. She would never guess, that arrogant Malfoy would be the one to actually try and help her. He never told her. Well, obviously, Pansy was not a Death Eater, so it didn't work out, and god knows if it would even save Nalanell, to begin with. But he was the only one who even tried.

Draco must have noticed the shock on Nala's face, because he felt the need to clarify, "It wasn't just for you, shorty. I thought, that perhaps somebody on the meetings will take interest in her and she will finally leave me alone," he explained blushing slightly. Because apparently doing anything nice or selfless would be too embarrassing for him to admit. "And Pansy took it as me returning her feelings," he added with an eye roll.

Nalanell grimaced feeling genuine pity for the blond boy. Pansy was always quite obnoxious and now it was probably even worse. "Well, thanks anyway," she said giving Malfoy a sad smile. He only sighed in response.

The song ended and Draco led her back to the table, kissing the back of her hand and thanking her for the dance, as the etiquette demanded.

"What a cute couple," Mafalda Hopkirk remarked with a dreamy smile. Nalanell didn't have time to glare at the annoying woman, because she was rendered speechless when Voldemort said "Indeed."

Malfoy opened his mouth to correct the Dark Lord when Lucius elbowed him quite painfully in the ribs. Draco gave his father a pleading look but didn't dare to disobey. He took Nalanell's hand in his, a grip strong enough to subdue her growing panic.

"Thank you, My Lord."

Nalanell closed her eyes trying to analyze all the implications of Malfoy's statement.

_Fuck._

* * *

#-&-HP-&-#

Harry was sitting in Snape's living room, having nothing better to do than to simply await the man's return. He was always anxious when Snape left for Death Eater meetings. At least now, he was not under the enslavement spell anymore, so Snape was technically only endangering himself. And of course Nalanell. Harry winced imagining Nala curtsying to Voldemort, her head bowed in a submissive acknowledgment of her Master's power. He winged his hands nervously, raising his Occlumency shields to calm the rage building inside him.  _That's what you get for dating a Death Eater._  Well, Nalanell would probably object to the word "dating", so far Harry pretty much just  _forced_  himself on her, stalking her like a hungry lion. But if lack of resistance and willing participation on her part was any indication, Nell enjoyed playing the prey.

Harry must have dozed off on the couch when loud pop behind him brought him back to awareness. He turned to see Snape and Nalanell standing by the table. Severus started taking off his tie with a fearsome yank, his face calm, but his mouth set in a thin line.  _Uh-oh_. Harry knew that face quite well by now. Snape was livid.

"Are you out of your mind, Cross?" he hissed, his hand still pulling at the tie, eyes flashing with fury.

Nalanell didn't falter. "I saw an opportunity and took it. It worked."

"Do not take me for a fool, girl. You didn't see anything, you orchestrated it, disobeying me in the process," Snape growled fixing her with an angry staredown.

"Are you mad, that I tried, or that I succeeded, while you did nothing?" she spat defiantly.

Snape clenched his fists, feeling his temper getting the better of him. "Succeeded in almost killing us all and sabotaging the whole venture!"

Harry couldn't stay silent any longer. "What happened?" They both turned to him with a startled expression. Apparently, neither registered his presence in the heat of an argument.

Snape was the first to reply, "Miss Cross decided to..."

"I learned the number of Horcruxes the Dark Lord has created," Nalanell cut him off rudely.

Harry's eyes widened in surprise. "Cool!"

Snape threw his hands in the air in exasperation as he turned to Harry. "Idiot!"

"Whoah. Snape focus! You were mad at her!" Harry said, grinning against himself as he pointed at Nalanell. His attempt to lighten up the mood was left unappreciated, as Snape glared at him with a deadly promise.

"Alright, calm down. Tell me what happened," he told Snape adapting a serious look and hoping Nalanell will back down as well. She was usually the smart one, and being rude to Snape, when he was already angry as fuck, was not smart at all.

"Nalanell asked Voldemort about Horcruxes, pretending she wants to make one," Severus explained, his face still wearing an angry scowl.

"And it worked. He gave me a number. Now we know for sure there is more," Nalanell chipped in.

"How many?"

"Voldemort believes in the magic of numbers. He split his soul into seven parts, which means he created six Horcruxes. Two down, four to go."

"Don't expect praise, Cross, what you did was incredibly stupid and even more dangerous," Snape snapped scathingly. "Forget the immediate danger you put both of us in, you might as well have walked to the Dark Lord and announced we are hunting his Horcruxes!"

Nalanell finally lost the fight in her and kept her mouth shut, turning her head away.

"I never expected YOU to be so utterly reckless. You gambled EVERYTHING on just learning the number of Horcruxes, while we could get this information from Slughorn," Severus berated her mercilessly. "Let me tell you exactly what would happen if your little act didn't work out and gave the Dark Lord the slightest tinge of suspicion. First, he would torture out of you all the information you had. Then he would kill me, likely in some great extravaganza while creating a new Horcrux for the one we have destroyed." Snape's voice was dripping with venom and Nalanell was already staring at the floor rather repentantly. But Severus was nowhere near done grilling her. "Then he would put you under Imperius and use Potter's enamoration to lure him in and then made him watch while he tortured you to death. But don't worry Potter," he spared Harry a vicious glance, "your death would be just as long and painful. And after that, he would set trap for Dumbledore, when he went after next Horcrux, killing the last hope we had in this war."

The scenario Snape painted was so grim, Harry felt himself fidget on the sofa. He looked at Nell and the girl was a picture of pure misery. Yeah, Snape knew how to do that. Harry stood up and took Nell's hand in his trying to offer some comfort.

"But none of that happened," he told Nalanell, squeezing her hand with a small smile.

"Don't be so sure Potter. If anything Nalanell drew a lot of unnecessary attention to herself. Every Death Eater will have their eyes out for her now, practically waiting for her to make any mistake, ready to report to the Dark Lord."

Harry knew Snape was right, but Nalanell knew all that as well. There was no need for him to keep lambasting her. "Alright, you made your point," Harry said firmly.

"And what if he decides to endorse the enthusiasm you portrayed today? Say, Miss Cross are you actually ready to kill innocents? Oh wait, I forgot. No one is truly innocent," Snape spat venomously mocking her earlier statement. Nalanell hunched even further, tears glistening in her eyes.

"I said, enough." Harry didn't raise his voice, but his tone held enough warning for Snape to turn his attention to him. Harry rarely challenged him so openly and never in the presence of others. Potter could put up with a lot from Snape, but he always got very protective whenever Severus targeted his friends. It didn't come as a surprise, that Harry would be willing to get into an argument over his girlfriend. Snape was normally not one to back down, but fighting with Potter and then dealing with a moody teenager for the next couple of days, was the last thing he needed right now. So he turned on his heel and with a huff strode out of the room.

Not wasting another second Harry wrapped his arms around the trembling girl in a tight embrace. Nalanell practically melted into his hug sniffling slightly into his robes.

"I was worried," he admitted quietly, placing a soft kiss on the top of her forehead.

"'M fine," came a muffled reply.

Harry drew back a bit to look at her and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You know, you shouldn't have done that. I could get it out of Slughorn."

"What? Not you too," she groaned with a frown.

"The fact that I won't let Snape bully you, doesn't mean I don't agree with him." Nalanell pulled out sulkily and Harry let her. "Why didn't you tell me about your plan? Or Snape? We could have figured out something. Something less dangerous."

Defiance returned to Nell's eyes, "Are you going to scold me too now, Potter?" she snapped, glaring at him. After all, she did it with Harry in mind, to begin with. And was successful in getting crucial information from Voldemort. She deserved at least some form of acknowledgment, but all she got was admonishment.

"No. But I'm not going to pretend that I'm fine when my girlfriend puts herself in danger," he offered gently reaching out for her. He didn't want to argue with Nala, but he also didn't want her to ever do something like this again.

Nalanell took a step back avoiding his hand. "I'm not your girlfriend," she hissed with a hateful scowl Harry learned to despise by now.

He crossed his arms on the chest feeling hurt. "Right."

They stared at each other in a silent argument neither of them caving while both desperately wanting to. Seeing that Potter was not going to back down, and too proud to do so herself, Nalanell turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door loudly behind her.

Harry cringed at the sound half expecting Snape to come running down ready to promise a painful death to whoever dared to show such attitude. But Snape didn't and Harry was greeted with dead silence. He grimaced with irritation, running a hand through his hair.  _Great. Just great._  Now Snape was mad at him and Nalanell was mad at him too.  _Yep. Nailed it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Harry, lol


	18. Hurt

Harry felt his socks getting wet inside his shoes, as his feet dug into the mud of the Quidditch pitch. He cursed silently tilting his head up with a groan, a couple of stray raindrops falling on his face. November weather was rarely good for Quidditch practices, but one could still hope to catch a sunny day on occasion. But not today. Good thing was, it wasn't a Gryffindor practice about to start, so who cares. Harry was here only to book next Wednesday and hope that the weather will be better.

A couple of Slytherin players were already in the air, while others could still be heard laughing in the changing room, obviously reluctant to leave the safety of the roof before they absolutely had to. Harry watched the flying players his gaze lingering on one particular petite black-haired one. He turned away. He was not going to look at her. He was not going to look at her. He was not... oh who he was kidding, he was looking at her alright. He missed her. Its been almost a week since their fight, but Harry was yet to get an opportunity to talk to her. Nalanell's art of avoidance went up a notch, though Harry did spend first days sulking himself, so not like he was looking for her. But now that he got over his ego, he would rather just make things OK between them again, and he had a hard time finding an opportunity for that.

And he thought Snape was difficult? Snape was pants. The man caved as soon as Harry appeared with a tray of tea and biscuits as a peace offering the very same day, and Snape never even mentioned Harry being out of line earlier. Which was a first. The man rarely let the opportunity to lecture Harry slide, especially when he was in a bad mood. It wasn't unheard off for Harry to take the chunk of Snape's temper when the man was annoyed with somebody else. Though lately, especially after Halloween, the man was definitely putting an effort on being decent. Well, he was still evil and sarcastic and strict and just everything that made Snape Snape. They still spent most of their time together bickering over things, with Harry rarely being on the winning side. But they both enjoyed this routine and both made sure not to cross the line where it hurt.

"Not a chance, Potter."

Harry turned his head and saw Malfoy's smug face sneering at him. He just caught Harry staring at Nalanell and god knows how long he had been standing behind him.

"She is not into  _good boys_ , you know?" Draco said mockingly, casting him an arrogant glance. Harry really wanted to put his punchbag training to good use and wipe that smile of Malfoy's face.

But instead, he just sneered in response. "And who says I am one?"

"She did. Although she had her mouth full at the time, so I wasn't sure I heard correctly..." Draco made a pause for effect before adding, "That girl gives such a good head."

Harry felt his fists clenching, a couple of nasty spells on his tongue. Normally he wouldn't give Malfoy the time of the day, knowing the prat was simply trying to get a reaction out of him. But the fact, that he saw Nalanell in Draco's presence plenty over the course of the past days was actually quite disturbing. He saw her sitting next to the blond at breakfast, walking by his side in the hallways and even waiting for him after Gryffindor&Slytherin DADA class. It was actually one of the reasons, Harry seemed to be completely unable to approach her, she was just never alone. Originally, Harry assumed that it was just some Death Eater _business._ Though Nalanell never seemed to seek Malfoy's attention before and it was no secret that she rather disliked Draco. Harry didn't know if he was simply reading too much into it or Nalanell did it on purpose to get back at Harry, or to prove some point. And the worst thing was that Harry had no opportunity to ask Nell herself.

"I always thought she runs her mouth a bit too much, but now that I know what else she can do with it, I don't mind anymore," Draco continued leering at Nala in a very suggestive manner.

The simple image of Nell on her knees in front of Draco was enough to throw Harry into a jealous fit. If ever there was a good time to try out what did Half-Blood Prince's spell do to his enemies, it was now. If it was half as good as the tips he had for Potions, then Malfoy was in for a treat.

"Well, she did gag at first, but we..."

Harry didn't hear the rest of the sentence, he turned on his heel and marched out of the pitch with a swift stride before he did something stupid.

* * *

#-&-HP-&-#

"Would you stop grabbing my hand!" Nalanell snapped glaring at Draco as soon as they turned into an empty hallway. She yanked her hand out of his and tucked it into her pocket.

Malfoy shrugged, unaffected by her scowl. "I have a reputation to uphold, shorty."

"Fuck your reputation."

Draco gave her an irritated look. "Lose the attitude, it's not nearly as cute as you think. We are supposed to be dating, if you don't want it to be questioned, then you better play the part," he told her unamused.

"We are supposed to be dating because you are a pussy who does everything daddy says."

"And you aren't? Remind me Cross, were you not there? What stopped YOU from making it right?" he retorted tilting his head to the side. When Nalanell didn't reply, his smirk hardened with disapproval. "You didn't do shit, so cut the crap."

Nell couldn't help a small pout appearing on her lips. But Draco was right, neither of them did anything and now they were forced into a pretend relationship. It wasn't even that Voldemort would care, what was going on in the love life of his fellow followers. No, the Dark Lord probably didn't even know the concept of dating, love, or emotions in general. The only thing that drove Tom Riddle was hunger. Hunger for power. Hunger for more. There was no room for anything else. But there was no such thing as lying to the Dark Lord. You say something - it's either true or you make it true. Of course, they wouldn't be killed or anything, just punished. And Nell had no intention to try out Servitium Incusabantur.

"Look, it's only for a couple of weeks, a month top."

"What makes you think that?" Nell asked frowning.

Malfoy shrugged nonchalantly. "We are teenagers, relationships don't last, no one will question it."

"Unless your daddy tells you to keep going. For all I know, he will have you marry me and I'll be Missus Malfoy in a fortnight," Nell muttered grumpily.

Draco stared at her for a moment and then burst out laughing. "God, Nalanell, you are too high up your ass," he croaked out genuinely amused.

Nalanell scowled at being laughed at, confusion written over her face. "What?"

"No offense shorty, but neither you nor your parents bring absolutely anything to the table. My parents would never waste their only son's marriage to gain nothing in return."

Nalanell glared at him but was in fact relieved by his words. Malfoy didn't even say it to be mean or put her in her place, it was simply the truth. Despite Voldemort's momentary fondness of Nell, the Cross family was still no match to Malfoys, in power, wealth or connections.

"So why forcing you to hook up with me in the first place?"

Malfoy raised an eyebrow as if the answer was obvious. "Just to score points, when the opportunity presented itself. Seriously Nell, are you even Slytherin?"

"Now, if you are done with your little tantrum, be a good girl and take my hand," he said mockingly and reached out for her hand, which she submitted with obvious reluctance. "And wipe off that scowl, you are supposed to like me," he added with a smirk.

She did. And just in time as the hall filled with students from nearby classes.

"Uh-oh. Parkinson one o'clock," Nell stated through the fake smile glancing over Draco's shoulder.

"Is she looking?"

"Of course she is looking, she is always looking."

Draco grabbed Nell by the waist and pressed his body against hers possessively.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Nell's expression was still amiable and affectionate, but her gaze screamed: " _knock it off"._

"I'm going to kiss you," Malfoy told her with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"The hell you are."

"Shorty. You owe me. Now you will help me get rid of her," Draco's gaze was dark and promising, but not in a sexy way. She didn't want to kiss Malfoy, but it's true, that he tried to help her and because of that he had Pansy all over him now. It's not like she was grossed out by Malfoy either, no he was handsome alright, after all, Pansy wasn't the only one drooling over the blond. She also knew he wasn't attracted to her, just as she wasn't attracted to him, so it was just means to an end.

"Alright, make it quick," she conceded.

"No chance, by the time I'm done you will be begging for more," he promised, an arrogant smile playing on his lips as he leaned down.

"Pompous pric..." she didn't manage to finish that word, because Draco's mouth silenced hers with a surprisingly tender kiss. It was nothing like Potter's hungry demanding kisses, that showed raw emotion and barely restrained passion. When Harry kissed her it was as if he couldn't get enough of her, his hands often wondering all over her body in a claiming possessive manner and then growing too excited jerking back as if burned. Malfoy, on the other hand, was not dominating her with his touch, he was uncharacteristically gentle, which went in contrast with his otherwise assholish nature. She might not like him, but she had to give him credit, he was not a bad kisser.

She heard a loud thud and turned her head just in time to see Gryffindor robes disappearing behind the corner. There was a crack on the wall's facade and a distinct blood stain. She felt her stomach do a painful flip flop as it occurred to her, just who might have done that...

* * *

#-&-HP-&-#

Harry didn't feel the pain in his hand. He didn't even register that he was dripping blood on the floor. There was a loud roaring in his ears that pushed out everything else from his head. Everything but the image of Nalanell in Draco's arms. He felt the invisible knife twisting and turning in his chest, probably puncturing his lung because he had actual trouble breathing. He wondered who came up with an expression to "see red" because that guy was so on point. It was as if his vision lost its palette leaving the uncontrollable rage to be the only color.

Harry didn't remember how he ended up in Gryffindor tower, he only barely registered Neville's worried face and his clumsy attempt to stop him from entering their dorm. Well, Harry probably looked like he was going to kill somebody, because as soon as he entered the room, Neville followed him with his wand out. Harry was stunned with the sight. It just couldn't come at any worse time. There was Hermione lying on the bed, her robes undone messily revealing her bra, her hair sticking in all the wrong directions indicating a proper make-out session... and Ron up on his ass on the floor because he fell from the bed in a moment of panic. Horror written on their faces made Harry want to laugh.

"I'm sorry," Harry choked out, his voice hoarse. He turned and walked past the stunned Neville back to the common room and out of Gryffindor quarters.

"Harry! Wait! What happened to your hand?" Hermione jumped from the bed in an attempt to pursue him but soon realized, that she was not clothed properly for that.

Harry headed to the only place he could think of. Two months ago it would have been an owlery, today it was dungeons. It was not that he didn't know what was happening between Ron and Hermione. He was not stupid, with the glances the two kept sending each other it was just a matter of time. Though he was pretty sure, that this was not how he was supposed to "officially find out". And the worst time for that too. He needed the support of his friends now more than ever. But now he couldn't have it.

Harry entered Snape's private quarters without knocking because the man gave him the password weeks ago and he did spend more time there than in Gryffindor quarters anyway. But Snape was not there. No one was ever available when Harry needed them! The story of his life. Without giving it a second thought, Harry approached the liquor cabinet.

* * *

#-&-HP-&-#

"Maaaaster is heeere!" Harry sang in greeting when Snape entered the living room. Severus looked at the teenager, examining the condition he was in with alarm. Potter was gripping a half-empty bottle of firewhisky, his face was flushed indicating he has been at it for a while, his hair was a mess and his hand was covered in blood.

"Potter, you are drunk." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"Five points to Slytherin! hic" Harry croaked out with a grin, though his face couldn't look sadder.

"What happened?" There was a genuine concern in Snape's tone. If Harry was sober he would be probably surprised, that the man wasn't yelling bloody murder for having to find a student help himself to his liquor cabinet.

"Nothing new really. My life sucks!" Harry answered nonchalantly and took another sip from the bottle.

"Potter," Snape's voice was quiet but it held a warning edge in it.

Harry shrugged, his face twisting with badly concealed pain. "I saw Nalanell with Malfoy... together."

Snape couldn't help rolling his eyes in exasperation. "Potter, spare me the teenage drama."

"Why?" Harry asked with defiance, trying to make his tongue articulate properly. "You had the same teenage drama. The girl I like is going out with the bully dickhead I hate. I thought you could relate." Harry tilted his head up raising his eyes to the ceiling. "Sorry, dad."

"By the time Lily started dating James, he was nothing of the sort," Snape commented quietly surprising himself for even having this conversation with a drunk son of his school nemesis, let alone defending him.

Harry raised his eyebrows making a stupid drunk-impressed face. "Wow. You hear that, dad? Snape defends you. That calls for a toast," he raised the bottle nodding at Snape, "To the losers!" he proposed and took a couple of gulps.

"Potter, that's enough."

"But you know what Snape? I actually don't want to end up like you," Harry announced pointing a finger at Severus, "Because you didn't get the girl! I mean, did you even ever get laid?"

Snape's eyes narrowed dangerously, his voice a low growl that would have any first-year shiver with fear. "Potter, I suggest you put down that bottle and shut up before you become a potion ingredient!"

But Harry was not a first-year, and he was drunk. "Well, I want to!"

"You want to?"

Harry swung with the bottle in a wild gesticulation, spilling the liquid on the couch in the process. "Get laid, hic," he clarified drunkenly, "Date, get laid, fall in love, get a FUCKING FAMILY of my own. A place to call home, where people actually LIKE me."

Snape remained quiet. The boy was ranting and he probably should put an end to it, but frankly, he didn't know how without making a situation worse. Potter was drunk and on edge and ready to pick up a fight if needs be.

"You know, the worst thing about Dursleys wasn't how they treated me. It was how they treated Dudley in comparison." Harry said, his tongue twisting at every second word, but the pain in his chest and alcohol in his blood helping him to go on. Severus sat down in the armchair opposite the boy and remained quiet. Harry never talked about his home life and Severus never pressed, though he had a very good idea what it looked like from their Occlumency sessions.

"I would be fine with them ignoring me, locking me up, withholding food, making me work... I would be fine pretending that they actually cared for me and that they were simply strict. I could justify everything and live in my little made-up world, where I would persuade myself I was loved," Harry continued as a stray tear fell down on his cheek. He didn't even notice it. He took another sip of the bottle and if there was a disapproving look on Snape's face as he did that, he didn't notice it. And honestly, he didn't care, either.

"But my pretend world could never work, because there was always Dudley. The one they had, because they WANTED him. He wasn't dropped on them in the middle of the night with a fucking letter. No, he was their SON, their legacy, their blood. And I was the freak, the unwanted, the burden."

Severus felt like having a drink himself, but he was pretty sure Potter will not let go of the bottle if he tried to take it from him, even if it was to join him.

"And every fucking summer, Dumbledore makes me go back there to feel like the unwanted shit I am. And the only person, that ever wanted to change it, that actually offered me to live with him and loved me, is gone... because of me. NO DON'T," he pointed a finger as if Snape was going to argue, "I am having my pity party and you don't get to ruin it." Harry finally noticed the tears that were streaming down his cheeks, he wiped them clumsily with his sleeve, spilling more firewhisky in the process. "God, I'm pathetic!"

"No," Snape finally found his voice, "Just hurt."

Harry eyed Snape, his face twisting with pain, his bottom lip quivering slightly before he bit it and dropped his eyes on his lap. "Why did she do this to me?" Harry didn't look at Severus, he directed the question to the bottle, but Snape felt the need to answer anyway.

"Harry, you might be misunderstanding the situation," he commented, wondering if there was any point trying to argue with Harry now when he was drunk.

"Malfoy's tongue down her throat was very hard to misunderstand," Harry grumbled to the bottle, his mind jumping to what Malfoy said about what else he put down her throat. Now it didn't sound so improbable anymore. And Harry felt sick.

Snape could tell the boy the cliché about the  _fish in the sea_ , or laugh how losing a girl at 16 was hardly the end of the world... except it WAS for him and his life went to hell after that. So he was not going to belittle Harry's pain, he understood it.

"Apparently, I just don't deserve to be happy, whenever there is something good in my life, it's taken away from me. To be left forever alone."

"You have your friends..."

"Right, friends," Harry smacked his thigh, swinging the bottle again, "They are kinda busy right now, and unless I'm renaming myself to Harry Cockblock, they are unavailable." Severus cringed at the choice of words but got the message clearly. Besides, it didn't come off as a surprise.

"You have me," he offered quietly, holding up Harry's gaze.

Harry stared at Snape for a good couple of moments, before dropping his eyes to the bottle again. "I know," he agreed a small sad smile appearing on his lips, "That's why I'm here I guess." And truth to be told, Severus was glad, that Harry chose to come to him. Getting drunk was not something he could condone, but the boy did it knowing Snape will come and take care of him. Again it showed the trust the boy had in him and Snape valued it.

They sat a couple of minutes in comfortable silence before Severus finally mustered the courage to try and take the bottle from the teen. "Harry, I know you are hurt, but..."

Harry didn't let Snape finish as a wave of nausea overtook him. He jumped to his feet throwing the bottle on the couch and bolted to the bathroom, almost tripping several times because his legs refused to cooperate. It was a surprise he actually made it in time to threw up his whole lunch in the toilet and then again and again. The vomit burning his throat, his eyes filled with fresh tears, a sob finally breaking out of his chest. He felt a hand gently rubbing his back as he sobbed miserably over the toilet seat feeling hurt and pathetic.

Snape handed him a glass of water. Harry took it and made a sip. "Can you give me anything? Make it go away?"

"No, Harry." Snape's voice was quiet and sad, he kept squeezing Harry's shoulder gently and Harry was happy for that small piece of comfort, it was just not enough.

"Please. Give me Dreamless sleep," Harry whined pitifully, clutching the sink for stability.

"It doesn't mix with alcohol, it will make you feel so much worse tomorrow," Severus lectured, but one miserable look from Harry and Snape gave up instantly. "Alright, but you will finish this glass of water and then drink one more."

Snape helped Harry get to his room and then even helped him change his clothes to pajamas, something that would have mortified the teenager if he was sober. Harry lied down and Snape covered him with duvet actually tucking him in. He handed Harry the vial with the requested potion. The boy drank it in one gulp without even making a face and returned it to Severus.

"You are going to paddle the living daylights out of me tomorrow, aren't you?"

Snape actually chuckled at that. "Don't worry about it and sleep."

Harry shrugged, "I'm not worried. Will you stay, please?" Harry would have been embarrassed for appearing so clingy and needy, but frankly, he was so emotionally exhausted, he didn't care about it anymore.

"I'm not going anywhere," Severus reassured him, brushing the hair off the boy's forehead.

"Thank you," Harry said closing his eyes and drifting to sleep with a small content smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC
> 
> Would you believe, that I gave Harry a romantic storyline just so that I can write this scene with Snape? Cause I did^^


	19. Neither did you

Harry groaned painfully even before his mind fully awakened. The throbbing in his temples mixed into the leftover of his dream, leaving him confused. He blinked and then shut his eyes again trying to drift back to sleep in hopes to escape the horrible headache that was doomed to ruin his morning for sure. Then he remembered the events of yesterday, the picture of Nalanell kissing Draco and the headache made room for another kind of pain that was even worse. It was duller than yesterday, but it was still there and Harry was still hurt. He gave up on trying to fall asleep. It was time to face the music.

When he entered the living room he was greeted with a common sight of Snape sipping on his tea while reading a Daily Prophet. The domesticity of it gave Harry a small smile, that turned sheepish when Snape raised his eyes off the newspaper to acknowledge him.

"Harry. How are you feeling?" the man addressed him casually.

Harry ought to feel embarrassed about everything that has happened yesterday. Forget getting shitfaced in front of Snape of all people, but he also bawled his eyes out complaining about his life, his girlfriend, his friends, his relatives and then emptied his stomach to the toilet and clung to Snape just like a  _needy child_  the man once called him. Yeah, Harry was mortified alright. Except right now he was also sporting a headache that could rival the harshest punishments of the enslavement bond, and that trumped any embarrassment.

"Like I've been hit by a truck," he groaned massaging his temples, "Kill me now."

"That would be letting you off lightly," Snape commented matter of factly and returned his attention back to the newspaper. There was no harshness in his tone and not even a hint of scolding, but Harry knew better than to let it fool him. There was no way in hell, that Snape was not cross with him. Even if Snape didn't threaten him about ever catching him drunk, it was kind of a given, that you can't drink the man's firewhisky and live to tell the tale. Well, figuratively. Harry didn't believe Snape would really harm him. And it was better to get his punishment over with sooner rather than later. Besides, with the headache he was sporting right now, he might not even notice that his ass was history.

"Look, I know I screwed up. And I'm sorry. Really." Harry offered tentatively. He was ashamed of his behavior and from his experience, it was better to act contrite. Not that he was trying to soften Snape up... ok maybe a bit. But the man only raised his eyes back at him with an unreadable expression. Harry hated when Snape did that. It was impossible to guess what was in store for him. It could very well mean " _You are dead. Run."_  or  _"Ok, maybe I'll consider keeping your limbs intact."_  or even  _"Ok, maybe I'll let you off the hook just this once."_

Unnerved Harry had the need to clarify which one he was facing right now. He bit his lip and adopted a look of a kicked puppy. "Are you going to punish me?"

Snape let him fidget for another minute before replying. "Your headache is punishment enough."

Harry didn't know he was holding his breath till he felt himself exhale. The relief, however, was shortlived as he realized, that Snape intended for him to suffer through the headache.

"Wait, so you are not going to give me anything for that?" he asked appalled. Snape was usually more about swift justice than long and painful suffering. Punchbag training excluded. He never let Harry go around with a headache from the bond before, even when Harry was being difficult and uncooperative, Snape would take charge and "help him". His ass rarely appreciated it, but he knew that the pain from a spanking was fleeting and not nearly as bothersome as the gradually increasing headache. Besides, Snape healed him most of the times sparing him the pain and embarrassment of sitting on a sore butt. But now he seemed to choose the opposite approach, refusing to punish him in favor of suffering through the headache. Harry actually felt strangely offended at the notion.

"I would if there WAS anything." Snape clarified.

"What?"

"Potter, alcohol and Dreamless Sleep don't mix well. There is nothing to counter it now. You will just have to suffer through your hangover like a muggle and think about making better choices in the future," Snape lectured without any sympathy.

"Oh, Gooood. Why didn't you tell me that before?!" Harry tried to keep his voice from sounding whiny, but even to his own ears, he kinda failed at that.

Snape raised an eyebrow, giving him  _The Look._ Harry grimaced trying to remember the conversation from yesterday.

"You did." It wasn't posed as a question, but a statement.

"I did," Snape confirmed it anyway.

"Well, you are grown up. You know better. Why didn't you spare me from doing that particular mistake?" Harry retorted sulkily.

Snape's lips quirked up in amusement. "I'll quote you on that someday." Harry cast him an annoyed look which only amused him further. "Besides, this way that particular lesson will stay with you for the rest of your life," Snape finished heartlessly with a vicious smirk.

"Aren't you just sadistic, evil..."

Severus conjured a paddle within a blink of an eye, "On second thought, I think you could benefit from paddling after all."

"No, wait. I'm still drunk. What I meant to say was, that you are the nicest, greatest, the most generous and very VERY forgiving..." Harry blabbered to save the situation. Not that he actually believed Snape's threats, or feared them really. But he did believe that if sufficiently provoked the man will act on them, and Harry didn't intend to find out.

Severus chuckled and shook his head. "Take a seat, I had House elves prepare hungover soup for you."

Harry gave him a small grateful smile and took the spoon. He didn't feel like eating at all, but if it could help even a little bit with the brutal throbbing in his head, he was going to eat every last drop of it.

"Gosh, I'm going to die," he complained quietly under his breath.

But Snape's hearing was excellent. "Potter, your pity party ended yesterday. No one dies from a hangover."

"I'll be first then," Harry groaned cupping his head with both hands, squeezing it painfully. "Can I play hooky today?"

"Excuse me?" Snape raised an eyebrow wondering whether he simply misheard it or Potter was still drunk, or the boy actually grew an extra set of balls over the night.

"Can I stay here and not go to classes?" Harry elaborated giving Snape an innocent look.

"You are not missing my class," Snape replied firmly shaking his head.

"I don't have your class."

"So why are you asking me?" Snape was pretty sure that most of his colleagues would give Harry the same answer if he approached them.

"Could you write me an excuse or something?" Harry raised pleading eyes at his mentor. He didn't really expect Snape to do it, but it didn't hurt to try.

"I'm not your guardian, Potter."

"You have exactly...," Harry checked the clock on the wall, "... 47 minutes to become one and get me out of Transfiguration."

Snape snorted shaking his head in disbelief that Potter would joke about something like that. "If you feel so sick, then you should go to Hospital Wing and let Madam Pomfrey..."

"She would know I was drinking and I would get in trouble," Harry argued, keeping his gaze down focusing on stirring his soup.

"Well, maybe you deserve to get in trouble," Snape parried giving the boy a pointed look.

"If I deserved to get in trouble, you would be paddling my ass right now," Harry replied and immediately regretted his choice of words. "Sorry," he added quickly before Snape decided to rectify the situation himself. "Listen, I'm hungover, hurt and not feeling very well, but more importantly, I'm not ready to face my friends right now. And I don't want to say or do something stupid." Harry knew he wasn't acting much of a Gryffindor right now, but he was being honest.

"You are just delaying the inevitable," Snape commented, but Harry saw in his face, that he was considering it.

"I know. But I'll be able to handle myself better later on. Please."

Severus took a moment to think about it. Harry didn't simply want to skip class, he wanted to avoid confronting his friends. And he was way ahead with Transfiguration, because of Snape's training, anyway. Potter was conjuring things left and right as a daily routine by now. Besides, Snape could actually use the time to talk to him about yesterday.

"Fair enough. I'll speak to Minerva," Snape conceded. "Meanwhile, you will write down what is wrong with alcohol abuse and what you could have done differently. And you are still going to Charms in the afternoon."

 _Oh great, skipping class just so that I can write a punishment essay. Good job, Harry._ "I thought my headache is punishment enough?"

"I won't be reading it. You can write it in points, it's for you. We will be having a conversation about yesterday and I think you would want to have some time to prepare for it. The more you say yourself, the less I will have to."

 _Crap._ "I changed my mind, I'll go to class," Harry replied grumpily.

"Then you will come after class and we will still be having a conversation about it. It's happening either way," Snape stated firmly.

That was just like Snape! To give him a choice between  _bad_  and  _worse_. "If those are my choices then you might as well yell at me now and get it out of your system," he snapped, giving the man a defiant look.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Nice try, Potter," he replied without a hint of annoyance with Harry's attitude. He placed a parchment and a quill in front of the teen. "But things are going to go my way. And you are not going to manipulate me into an argument. Now lose the attitude and do as you are told."

With that Snape left the room, presumably to floo Minerva and excuse Harry from class, and Harry sighed with resignation and picked up a quill. Even though Harry REALLY didn't want to relive the shameful events of the last night, all things considered, Snape was still pretty decent about the whole thing.

* * *

#-&-HP-&-#

"Jesus, just paddle me. I don't want to talk about Dursleys." Harry took a pillow from the sofa and buried his face in it stifling the whine that was trying to escape his mouth.

"Potter, I believe we have established, that those things are not up to you," Snape replied calmly sipping on his third cup of tea. They have been "talking" about last night for the past hour and Harry thought his ears were gonna start bleeding soon. His headache got somewhat better, but he was still not feeling well, and Snape was not taking it easy on him either.

"What do you want me to say?! I'm sorry! I had a moment of weakness, I forgot about the pin to summon you, I didn't think about the possibility of Slytherins coming to your quarters, I didn't consider Death Eater attack, Hogwarts catching on fire and all the other gruesome scenarios that I wouldn't be prepared for. I got drunk as fuck and I blabbered a lot of shit, that I shouldn't have. Now can you please PLEASE let it go?!" Harry was redfaced and irritated and he gave up on keeping his language clean half an hour ago. Snape gave up on correcting his language twenty minutes ago.

"I'm glad you understand all that, but I still would like to address issues you brought up last night."

Harry smashed his face back against the pillow, ready to bite through the fabric in frustration. There was just nothing he could say for Snape to let go of the topic. Obviously, he expected Harry to just start talking about what a miserable orphan he is.

"There are no issues, and things I say under influence shouldn't be used against me!" he grumbled, his voice muffled with the pillow.

"Pray tell, how can I use anything you told me against you?" Snape raised an eyebrow still unbearably calm and reserved. Somehow it annoyed the hell out of Harry.

"I'm not talking about the cupboard or anything else! You had the decency to drop it when I was your slave, and I don't want to talk about it now either!"

Severus understood why Harry was reluctant to talk about being mistreated by his relatives. His own House had plenty of children, that came from abusive families, and none of them ever wanted to talk about it. Severus remembered himself as a child always feeling ashamed and guilty... and he didn't want for Harry to feel the same way. "Harry, you were abused. You need to understand that none of it is your fault," he said quietly, trying to catch the eye contact with the frustrated teenager.

Something snapped in Harry, and he started laughing. Hard. He couldn't stop himself, and he sure as hell wasn't overjoyed, he just couldn't help it. He might as well be sobbing the way he felt at the moment. "Riiight, not MY fault. Maybe we should talk about WHOSE fault it is then, huh? Snape?"

Severus remained quiet sensing that this conversation was going to go in a very different direction than he predicted.

"Let's start with Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Hagrid leaving me with Dursleys with nothing but a letter. Because obviously, they are going to be ecstatic to find a baby on their doorstep like a fucking stray cat! KNOWING the Prophecy, isn't it a great idea to leave the promised savior of the wizarding world with some muggles and never check on him for 10 years? Brilliant plan if you ask me!" Harry's voice was dripping with sarcasm that could match Severus's at his best.

Snape cringed regretting that he pushed Potter to talk about it after all. He thought he was going to be persuading Harry how he was a victim and not the culprit, but apparently, the boy figured it out a long time ago and was just blocking the topic in order not to feel hurt by all the adults that let him down.

"And then we have Lupin, one of my father's best friends! My dad became an unregistered animagus for him! Technically a crime. But the great friend also never checked on an orphaned son of his best friend. And... NEITHER. DID. YOU!" Harry yelled, abandoning all the remnants of self-restraint. "You were such a great friend of my moms, loved her so fucking much... and never ONCE visited Privat Drive, even though you KNEW Petunia!" Harry felt the tears stinging his eyes. He was exactly where he didn't want to be! That's why he wanted to stay put today in the first place. Because he didn't trust himself not to do something stupid. Why did Snape have to push him?!

"You should have known!" he shouted wiping the angry tears escaping his eyes. He hated being such a crybaby! Yesterday he was bawling his eyes out from heartbreak, but at least he had an excuse since he was drunk. Now he was simply feeling sorry for himself, cause Snape just had to press him! Fucking asshole!

"What? Nothing to say? Still wanna talk about shit?! Did it ever occur to you, that I don't want to talk about it because then I will just fucking hate every adult that I have in my life?! But no, you just couldn't let go! Things just HAVE to go your way! So is there anything else your highness wishes to discuss or can I be fucking excused?!" Harry felt his heart practically jumping from his chest, his pulse ranking off the charts as if he sprinted a mile. He was breathing hard feeling angry and frustrated with both Snape for rallying him up and himself for losing it. Last time he snapped so badly, he landed Malfoy in the hospital wing. But since then he learned to keep better hold of his emotions. Or so he thought.

Snape didn't reply. He stood up abruptly and walked away with a fast stride. Harry expected Snape to fetch a cane or some other horrifying implement that will seal his fate. Instead, Severus opened the med-cabinet, took a vial of Calming Draught and handed it to Harry. "Alright, calm down. Take a deep breath," he instructed, his voice laced with authority. If Harry was still a slave he would rush to obey, but even now that the bond wasn't hanging over his head, he felt inclined to obey such a strict order. Harry started inhaling and exhaling slowly trying to get his emotions under control again.

"Good. Now drink this." Snape commanded just as sternly. Again, Harry didn't dare to disobey, gulping down the contents of the vial. He immediately felt his burning rage to quieten down and slowly replaced with shame for yelling at Snape the way he did.

"Are you calm, or would you prefer to stand in the corner some, to be sure?"

Harry felt his ears growing hot at the reprimand. "No, Sir."

"Alright, sit down," Snape told him and then sat down next to the boy. The silence took over, interrupted only by an occasional sound of cracking wood from the fireplace. Harry started growing uneasy from all the things he said. He just practically bashed everyone who ever cared for him and although he believed that his rage was at least partially justified, he still felt very regretful that he voiced it. Now everyone will hate him. Snape will hate him. He has never been so disrespectful to the man before. Or to anyone really.

"I'm sorry," Harry croaked quietly staring at his lap.

Severus only sighed tiredly in response. "I'm sorry too, Harry," he said after a while, resting his elbows on the knees and running his hands through the hair, "I can't speak for others, but I do agree, that we let you down." Harry raised his eyes to look at Snape. He definitely didn't expect that. "I'm sorry for pushing you to speak about it. I honestly thought that this conversation will be different. I thought I can help." Severus leaned back against the sofa, closing his eyes with the deep exhale. He felt Harry's head rest against his shoulder, much like the boy did after the first trip to Hogsmeade.

"You did. It felt good to get it out of my system," Harry admitted quietly. He wasn't sure Severus will appreciate the gesture given how horribly Harry behaved just now. But thankfully Snape didn't push him away. "I'm really sorry, I know I was way out of line. I don't know what came over me," he apologized sincerely. "I swear I will never be so disrespectful again."

"Good, because if you do..."

"I won't."

"Brat, you don't even let me threaten you properly anymore," Snape complained halfheartedly.

Harry smiled. "Uh-huh. And not even sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC  
> Tbh I planned for the chapter to go in a completely different direction, but as usual, things got postponed and this angsty chapter came out of nowhere;D


	20. Sectumsempra

"Snape?"

"Potter."

Harry waited for Severus to stop writing and actually look at him. Snape rarely brought work to lunch, but apparently, due to their lengthy conversation he was falling behind on his schedule, so he was multitasking, correcting some essay while finishing his meal. By the face the man was pulling, the essay was pretty bad, but Harry was not bold enough to ask who is the unlucky student. Severus finally took his eyes off the paper to look at Harry.

"You know, you should call me Harry."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "And you should call me  _Sir_."

Harry grimaced, "Ok, you can call me Potter," he conceded grinning.

Snape rolled his eyes. "What is it? I'm busy."

"Can I skip Charms?"

"No," Severus answered before Harry even finished the question, his tone unwavering. Not that Harry was really surprised.

"Worth a try."

"Not even that," Snape remarked returning his attention to the grading.

"So what do you suggest I do?"

"About?"

"Ron and Hermione."

Severus stop writing again to look at Harry. "Potter, those are your friends. You will have to find a way to manage them."

"Professor Snape?" they heard Hermione's voice coming from the office.

"Oh shit," Harry cursed quietly.

"Or maybe you won't have to and they will manage you instead," Severus commented visibly pleased and smirking at Harry's sudden embarrassment. He stood up to answer the door, but not before casting a silent sticking charm on Harry.

Harry tried to flee as soon as Snape was out of the door, and he almost ripped his trousers doing so since his butt was suddenly glued to the chair. Before he could come up with an alternative escape plan Snape was back in the living room accompanied by a red-faced Ron and a worried Hermione.

Harry exhaled in defeat and shook his head at Snape mouthing a silent "I hate you" message.

"As you can see, Potter is alive. Although I can't guarantee it remains this way if he skips Charms, so I suggest you help him attend that class," Severus told his friends while giving Harry a pointed look. Then he grabbed his grading and went to the office leaving the teenagers alone in the room.

"Harry, what happened?" Hermione was first to break the silence, her worry trumping her embarrassment.

"Snape stuck me to a chair," Harry grumbled sending nasty glares towards the door to the office.

"Why?"

Harry finally looked at his friends. Watching them being all worried and fidgeting he realized that he didn't actually feel even slightest bit of resentment towards them. They might have hooked up behind his back, but they were here for him anyway. Ron was probably for the first time in Snape's chambers and he looked ready to die with awkwardness, and yet he was still here because he cared.

"Just Snape things I guess," Harry replied, a small grin grazing his lips.

"You were missing at Transfiguration, and then you didn't show up for lunch either. We were worried," Hermione said, examining him with an inquisitive gaze. Her eyes rested on his hand, "I see your hand is healed."

Harry then remembered that he actually smashed his hand pretty hard against the wall and now it was suddenly ok again. Snape must have treated him when Harry was sleeping. "Yeah, it's fine now."

"McGonagall wasn't surprised, that you were missing," Hermione remarked casting him a questioning look.

"I had Snape write me an excuse," Harry said smugly and seeing the shock on both their faces, he chuckled, "Almost made him my guardian for it too."

Ron stared at him with horror, "Mate, don't even joke like that."

Harry laughed, feeling some of the tension finally leaving his body. "That's not a joke, more like wishful thinking really." Ron looked like he might want to challenge that statement, but Hermione cut him off.

"So what really happened Harry? Snape would never write you an excuse just cause you don't feel like getting up early."

Harry sighed, he was going to tell them everything anyway, so why not do it now, while he was stuck to a chair. "I got drunk as fuck yesterday..."

* * *

#-&-HP-&-#

All in all the day turned out to be not as horrible as Harry predicted. It even had a couple of bright moments, one being Ron's face when Harry told them he knew they are into each other all along and asked him, what took him so long? It didn't surprise him, that Ron being a complete wuss actually wasn't the one to make the first step, and just succumbed to Hermione's advances. He had so much fun teasing his friends he almost forgot about Nalanell. Almost.

But now being alone as he was walking to the dungeons, his mind returned to the girl and the knife started twisting in his chest again. Nalanell never promised him anything. Actually, she kept pointing out, that she was a Death Eater and how they were wrong for each other and all the other Shakespearean bullshit he didn't want to hear. Harry kept telling her he didn't care and she let herself be persuaded time and time again. And now she practically jumped into Malfoy's arms after some stupid fight? WHY?!

As if sensing the unanswered question in the air the nearby door opened and Nalanell emerged from the bathroom. She stared at Harry and turned on her heel to flee back inside but Harry sent a strong charm shutting the door in her face, effectively halting her escape.

"Potter, what do you want?" she snapped giving him an irritated scowl. Oh, how Harry hated that look. He felt his blood boiling and he clenched his fists trying to subdue the building temper.

"I believe you owe me an explanation," he said firmly, tilting his head to the side as he crossed his arms on the chest. He wanted so much to just hug and kiss her and forget everything that happened... and at the same time, he was so incredibly hurt by her, he had a hard time even looking at her.

"I don't owe you anything, Potter," she spat hatefully. Harry felt the knife sink further into his chest crushing his hope, that it was all some big misunderstanding.

"Yes, you do. Don't you think you should have said something before you start snogging that dickhead? I thought it goes without saying, that the thing between us is exclusive." Harry was surprised by how calm his voice sounded because inside he was screaming bloody murder.

"There is no 'thing' between us, Potter."

Harry felt his control slowly slipping away. How could she... How dare she?! "Really Nell? So what was it then? Me constantly forcing myself on you and you too weak and afraid to fight back?" he questioned mockingly. If there was one thing about Nalanell he knew for sure, it's that she hated to appear weak.

The girl snorted in exasperation. "Don't be ridiculous Potter, no one is afraid of you."

"Well if there is nothing between us and I didn't force you, then what exactly does it make you? I'll tell you. A slut!" he threw an insult in her face. Nalanell was called many names, but Harry was never one to verbally abuse girls, it just always felt... wrong. Now seeing the appalled expression on Nala's face should have been a red flag, but Harry was too angry and hurt to stop. "That's right, you heard me. Malfoy already tells everyone that you give a _terrific head..._ how very fitting for a slut."

Nalanell was never really affected by insults, but that was because she rarely cared about the insulting party. Hearing this from Harry hurt... a lot. But she was an Occlumen and a Slytherin, she knew how to hide her emotions.

She sneered raising her eyebrows in amusement. "And what does it make you, Potter? A poor orphan boy that everyone knows... but nobody cares, who can't even get  _a slut_  to be with him!" she retorted with as much venom as she could muster. And it worked, perhaps a bit too well.

Harry was losing it. Completely. He felt his magic radiating from him in angry waves. One word and Nalanell would be dead. He just knew it. And the worse thing was - he wanted it. He has never wanted to bodily harm a girl this much before. Well, he did want to kill Bellatrix, but he never thought he would feel this way about a girl he loved. Frankly, it was scaring the shit out of him... and Nalanell too, since she started backing away from him with a badly masked fear.

With all the remaining willpower he turned and walked away. Fast. He was still blinded with rage when he entered the bathroom. He gripped the sink, threw away his glasses and washed his face with cold water. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, wanting to smash it, when he noticed Draco behind him.  _Crap, worst timing ever._

"So flustered Potter," Draco remarked mockingly.

Harry gripped the sink harder, dropping his gaze down to avoid looking at Malfoy. "Malfoy, get lost," he hissed through gritted teeth, willing to get back his self-control.

"The only one lost here is you, Potter!" Malfoy gave a short laugh, "This is a Slytherin bathroom, idiot."

Harry turned to face the arrogant blond, his eyes flashing with fury. "I already warned you Malfoy. You stay the fuck away from me or you will regret it." Harry wanted to beat the shit out of the fucker, tell him to keep his filthy hands off Nalanell. But he couldn't endanger her like that. Even though he was ready to rip her to pieces just a couple of minutes ago.

"Expelliarmus!"

It happened so fast and so unexpectedly. The next second Harry was staring at Draco's smug face, his hand gripping two wands. Fuck. He just got disarmed by Malfoy. Before he even took his wand out! And just like that "the duel" was over. Harry's rage peaked with humiliation. All this training and he got disarmed by the likes of Malfoy! The fucker just had to take  _everything_  from him!

Malfoy laughed heartily watching Harry turn beet red, "Oh Potter, what shall I do with you now? How about..."

"Sectumsempra!"

Despite the fact, that Harry cast the spell wandlessly, Malfoy was thrown back at least 3 meters. He hit the wall and slid down to the bathroom floor a red pool of blood rapidly spreading beneath him. His shirt was soaked with blood in seconds from numerous cutting wounds on his chest, his eyes bulging with pain and fear. Malfoy was making whiny gurgling noises, that paralyzed Harry. He had no idea... He didn't mean to... This couldn't... WHAT THE HELL!

Harry felt his rage being immediately replaced with blinding panic, his heart jumping out of his chest, his hands shaking. Malfoy was dying! Harry touched the pin, and then again and again. Kneeling next to Draco, he put both his hands on the blond's chest trying to stop the bleeding, but the blood was everywhere. He frantically thought of the healing spells, but his mind was blank. Oh my god, Oh My God, OH MY GOD! FOCUS GODDAMIT! There was someone sobbing in the background but Harry didn't have time to dwell on it, he had to DO SOMETHING!

He felt two strong hands grip his shoulders and throw him away from the Slytherin boy. Snape kneeled next to the blond and then turned to Harry, with an expression of pure shock and fear. Harry registered that the sobbing momentarily stopped and realized, that it was him the whole time.

"I didn't know... I didn't mean... I didn't... I swear," Harry blabbered panting, tears streaming down his deadly white face.

"Go to my quarters." The command was curt and strict, the voice menacing and severe.

"Is he gonna..."

"NOW!" Snape barked and Harry all but fled the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, but the next one is coming up shortly, prob tomorrow.  
> I have been tip-toeing around CP for a couple of chapters now, and Harry ain't getting out of this one. Consider yourself warned.


	21. Acting the part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst, drama, cp incoming. But you guessed that, right?

Harry was pacing in the living room going crazy with panic. Did he just kill Malfoy? What will happen now? Will he go to Azkaban? He ran his hands over his face for the hundredth time, leaving more blood smudges on his cheeks. He looked like a murderer. Blood was everywhere... his robes, his hands, his face, his hair. He avoided sitting on the couch in order not to stain it and felt ridiculous for it. He just KILLED a person and he was afraid to soil Snape's couch? Harry felt sick to the stomach, ready to throw up. He dropped to the floor, pulled his knees up, buried his hands in the hair and rocked back and forth, trying to raise the Occlumency shields and failing.

After roughly 45 minutes that felt like an eternity, Snape entered the chambers. Harry snapped out of his trance and jumped to his feet feeling both relief and dread.

"Oh God, Snape, is he..." Harry trailed off unable to say the word "dead". He clutched his trembling hands, but it did nothing to subdue his fear and nausea.

"Malfoy is going to be alright," Snape said tersely, he walked over to the sofa and fell on it ungracefully. "Potter, med-cabinet, third shelf to the left, blood replenishing potion."

Harry felt the relief wash over him. Malfoy was alive. Harry didn't kill him.  _Oh, Thank fucking God!_ But now finally taking in the tired state of his mentor, he hurried to obey and handed him the potion. "What happened?" he asked Severus with a concerned look.

"I should be asking that!" Snape replied scathingly, but his voice was weak and lacked the usual bite. "I stopped the bleeding, but Malfoy needed the blood transfusion. Potions couldn't cut it."

"How much did you give him?" Harry noticed Snape's white face with alarm. "Do you need more potions or anything else? Should I call Madam Pomfrey?"

"I'll be fine, Potter," Severus stopped him raising his hand, "And you should worry about yourself!" he snapped leveling him with a stern glare.

"I have enough worry for both of us," Harry replied, still running high on adrenalin. He immediately regretted it, seeing how Snape narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"Potter, believe me, you don't want to be lippy with me right now," the man growled, an unspoken threat hanging in the air. He might be tired and pale, but there was no denying, that Snape was furious.

"Sorry," Harry apologized right away. He had no intention to aggravate his mentor further, he hasn't been in so much trouble since... since never. He just almost fucking killed a person!

Severus took a wand out of his robes and handed it to Harry, who blanched even more when he saw it. "Care to explain?"

"I... I was in the bathroom and... and Malfoy disarmed me," Harry stuttered nervously looking anywhere but at Snape.

Severus shook his head with disapproval. "Potter, I'll need more than that. And don't even think about lying to me," he threatened, his voice cold and cutting.

Harry bit his lip, clutching the hem of his bloodstained robes. "You are not going to like it," he told the floor.

"Well, that's too bad, you are still going to tell me!" Severus snapped in response and Harry cringed at the tone. It's been a while since Snape treated him with so much animosity. He almost forgot what the man used to be like. But then again, Harry just nearly killed one of his students, so not like he should be expecting butterflies and rainbows. And still, it hurt to be treated this way again.

Snape must have noticed it because he sighed tiredly and pointed at the armchair. "Stop fidgeting and sit down," his voice was still strict, but it wasn't so cold anymore.

Harry dropped on the chair not caring whether he will leave stains or not. "I saw Nalanell and confronted her. It didn't go well, I said some hurtful stuff, she said some hurtful stuff back and I almost exploded." Harry glanced at Severus and was happy to see that the color returned to his cheeks, the blood replenishing potion working its magic. "I went to the bathroom to get my shit together and Malfoy was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I told him to get lost, but... you know Malfoy, that's not his style. He goaded me, I threatened him, he disarmed me before I even took out my wand."

Snape's lips pressed into a thin line and Harry knew exactly why. He should have never let Malfoy disarm him, Snape trained his reflexes better than that. And the one time he should have used them, he failed to procure a simple shield charm.

"So then he mocked me and was about to cast something, and I just cast Sectumsempra. But I didn't know it will do that, I swear! You have to believe me, I didn't know that this would happen! I would never..."

Snape raised a hand stopping Harry's frantic rant, while he pinched his nose with the other. "So let me get this straight. You were disarmed by a Death Eater and instead of using your pin to call for help, figuring escape routes, using protective or offensive charms, or just do ANYTHING that I have taught you in the past couple of months, you decided to cast a spell YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW?!" Snape roared hitting the sofa with his fist.

Harry jumped in his seat startled to see Snape so enraged. "You are mad," he stated squeezing himself further into an armchair.

"DAMN RIGHT IM MAD!" the man bellowed angrily. "What do you think we were doing here this whole time?! Is this all just some stupid game to you?! Not only you let yourself get disarmed, but once you were already at a disadvantage, you used a spell that not only you were not confident in, but you didn't even know what it does! What could possibly be wrong with THAT?!"

Harry hunched his shoulders feeling very small. He expected Snape's wrath, but he expected a very different kind. The one, where he is mad because Harry almost killed a Slytherin, not because Harry did exactly the opposite of what his training told him to do.

"Well it said, it's for enemies. I thought it would do something to embarrass, like Levicorpus or something," he offered tentatively hoping to defuse some of the man's anger.

And perhaps it worked, because Snape suddenly tensed up, his eyes shooting at Harry with alarm. "How exactly did you learn about this spell, Potter?"

Harry gulped fully aware that he will only dig himself further once he tells Snape about the book, but he couldn't even contemplate lying when the man was already so furious. "It was written in the Potions textbook," he muttered quietly.

"And how long have you had this Potions book?"

Harry looked at Snape knowing that he is going to disappoint him even more but unable to lie anyway. "Since the first lesson."

Snape slammed his back against the sofa, covering his face with his hands a sad laugh passing his lips. "Potions prodigy... I knew there was something wrong! So on top of all that, you have been lying to me the whole time," he commented casting Harry a look full of disappointment that made Harry's heart sink.

"You never questioned me directly," Harry faltered uncertainly, but even to his own ears, it was a pretty weak excuse.

"Just go, Potter," the man sighed tiredly waving a hand at him in dismissal.

_What? No! You can't give up on me! Not now!_ Harry felt the panic and the nausea return. "No, please Sir! Don't send me away! I'm sorry!" he blabbered frantically not caring how desperate he sounds.

Snape only rubbed his forehead with his hand shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath in exasperation. "Harry, go to your room. I'm too angry to deal with you right now."

"Oh... alright," Harry conceded, visibly relieved. Snape was not getting rid of him, and even though his promise to "deal with him" was hardly encouraging, it was better than to be sent away.

"And take a shower for God's sake, you look like you've just taken a blood bath," Snape snapped irritatedly. Harry didn't comment and hurried to the bathroom instead.

* * *

#-&-HP-&-#

Harry took his time in the shower, watching the dirty brownish water running down the drain. Snape was so mad. Mad enough to actually tell him to get lost, because he was too angry. Harry didn't blame him. He really fucked up this time. He lied about Potions... though how did Snape even know about the tips in the book? He didn't look surprised, when Harry told him, where he found the spell. But he was upset, that Harry didn't tell him about it. And he was furious, that Harry used a spell he didn't know. Well... it did go against pretty much everything Snape had taught him. So no wonder he got so mad.

What Harry didn't understand is why Snape didn't say anything about him almost killing Draco. Isn't that the worst thing in this whole mess? It certainly was for Harry. He felt absolutely horrible about almost killing a person, even if that person was a dickhead, that he always hated. Harry was so grateful that Snape managed to save the Slytherin in time. He didn't know what he would do if he had Malfoy's blood on his hands...

Harry stepped out of the shower feeling the tiniest bit better, now that he wasn't covered in Draco's blood anymore. He dried his hair sloppily, and went to his room, changing into pajamas right away. Snape sure as hell ain't training him tonight, so might as well call it a day and try to catch some sleep. He missed dinner in hopes to grab a bite with Snape after training, but he wasn't hungry at all, the image of Malfoy lying in a pool of blood still haunting his mind. Harry doubted he will be able to fall asleep at all...

An hour passed, with Harry just staring at the ceiling in the dark, not even trying to close his eyes and doze off. The guilt was eating away at him. How could he screw up things so badly? Forget getting drunk and yelling at Snape, this trumped it all. He really ought to have stayed in his room today, he knew he was in a bad state to deal with shit tonight. And he ended up making all the wrong decisions.

A soft knock on the door interrupted his session of mental self-flagellation. "Come in," he called out surprised how raspy his voice sounded.

Snape entered the room wearing his usual expression, that didn't betray any feeling whatsoever. Though Harry was pretty sure the only thing it meant is that he was composed enough to hide his fury, not that it wasn't there anymore.

"Are you sleeping?" the man asked him, his voice neutral.

"No, I don't think I will be able to," Harry replied honestly.

Snape didn't move, his face still masked of any emotion. "I could give you more Dreamless Sleep," he offered.

Harry shook his head. That would be an easy way out, and he didn't deserve it. "Could you just talk to me instead? Yell at me, punish me, just... " Harry threw his hands in the air aimlessly, "I feel horrible." He sat up and hugged his knees burying his head between them.

Severus took a seat on the chair next to Harry's bed. The boy looked really miserable and despite his anger, Snape knew that Potter was probably beating himself over it even more than he probably should. "And why is that?"

"You know why! I almost killed Malfoy!"

"You would have if you had your wand," Snape remarked mercilessly.

"Oh Gooood," Harry groaned hugging his knees tighter.

"Potter, as much as I am angry with you right now, you do realize, that you WILL be forced to kill, right?"

Harry looked up at Snape. "I know... but Malfoy was not a threat," he argued, his face coloring in shame.

"He wasn't before... But he is going to be now unless you figure something out," the man replied with a serious expression.

"Well, I don't know what! He tells his father, Lucius will be here within minutes banging at Dumbledore's door demanding my expulsion!"

"Thankfully for you, Malfoy is a Death Eater. He is never going to admit that he has been bested by you, much less that you did it without a wand. Such weakness would be punished most severely. This matter is going to remain private. But make no mistake, he will attempt to get even."

Harry frowned rubbing his forehead with his hand, "I could try to apologize, but he is not going to let me."

"What a surprise. One would hope, that you won't be killing people based on the fact, that somebody kissed your girl and you lost your temper," Snape commented sarcastically and Harry cringed at the tone. But it was deserved.

"You know I never meant to harm him really. I didn't know..." Harry trailed off knowing that he just brought up a reason why Snape was ACTUALLY mad at him.

"Yes, now explain to me, what did I do wrong?"

"Huh?"

"Well, we have been training your reflexes, putting you in various situations where you were at a disadvantage so that you are prepared for them. And the first time you could actually use anything I have taught you, you go and do the exact opposite. So we must have been doing something wrong," Snape said matter of factly, and Harry hated how Snape tried to turn it around blaming himself to make Harry feel even worse about it. And it worked - Harry felt like shit.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I wanted to see what the spell does, and actually almost used it on Malfoy even before. Now it just kinda slipped out." Harry was grateful for the dim light in the room, hoping that it could hide at least partially his embarrassment on the matter.

"And what would you do, if the spell didn't do anything at all?"

"Feel like an idiot and then try to get my wand back... I mean If Malfoy really wanted to curse me, I wouldn't let him. He wouldn't catch me off-guard twice," Harry grumbled, resting his chin on his knees.

"I sincerely hope so," Snape remarked, his features softening the tiniest bit. Harry gave a small smile. At least the man believed him, that he wouldn't be a complete failure if it came to that.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You may."

"How did you know about the Potions textbook? Or rather how did you connect it to me doing better at Potions?" he asked curiously.

The usual smirk passed Snape's lips and was gone so fast, Harry wasn't sure he had seen it in the first place. "Come on Potter, I know you are Gryffindor, but even you can figure this one out yourself. I am a Potions Master after all."

Harry shook his head chuckling. "Really? You are the Half-Blood Prince? I would never guess you, of all people, to call yourself a prince."

"Eileen Prince was my mother. My father was muggle Tobias Snape and we didn't exactly see eye to eye with him," Snape explained. Harry was sure that there was more to that story, but now was not the time to press it.

"Half-Blood Prince, that makes sense then," he smiled softly before growing serious again, "So you invented Sectumsempra? Have you ever used it on dad?"

"No Harry. Unlike you, I did know what the spell does," Snape said shaking his head.

Harry fell silent munching over the next question. "Can I still keep the textbook?" he asked nervously.

"Wouldn't that be fun to let you fail Potions, now that Slughorn is ready to worship you," Snape mused sarcastically. Harry hung his head in shame. What did he expect really?

"Why didn't you tell me about the book, Harry?" There was a tinge of hurt in Snape's voice, or maybe Harry imagined it because he expected it to be there.

He winged his palms guiltily forcing himself to look at his mentor. "I know I should have. I'm sorry. At first, it just felt good to prove to you I'm not entirely useless... and then It was just too late to confess," he muttered dropping his eyes to his feet again.

"You will have to give me that book," Snape told him sternly.

"Yes, Sir," Harry replied miserably. He had no idea, what excuse was he going to give Slughorn once his Potions work start to deteriorate. Would he even be able to pass his NEWTs well enough to become an Auror? Well, not like it mattered that much. Harry might not really have any future anyway.

"I will have to check if the alterations I wrote twenty years ago are even working. Some might actually be more harmful than helpful. I will give you back your cheatbook, once I correct it."

Harry gaped at Snape in surprise, wondering if he heard the man correctly. "Really?"

"Yes Harry, I'm here to help, and as far as I'm concerned, the fact that you didn't come up with these alterations yourself, doesn't make them any less legit."

Harry was ready to jump from the bed and hug the man senseless, except...

"Are you still angry with me?" he asked biting his lower lip apprehensively.

"Yes."

_Crap._  Harry didn't want Snape to be angry with him. It made him incredibly uneasy even though the man wasn't cold and cutting anymore.

"Are you going to punish me?" It was the second time he asked that question today, and this time he almost hoped that Snape will say yes. Well, he didn't really WANT to be punished. But for what it's worth Snape never stayed mad at him after he did. Besides Harry felt incredibly guilty about everything that happened and from his experience, a walloping, however painful and embarrassing, did help with that particular feeling.

Snape took a moment to decide. Technically he had no authority to discipline Potter this way. It was one thing to spank the teenager while the enslavement bond left them with no other choice and it was entirely different to do so simply because he felt the boy deserved it. He might have been threatening Harry with corporal punishment because that's what he always did, but the truth was - he didn't lay a finger on him since the bond ended.

But Harry has been let down by adults plenty in his life and Snape already stepped up to fill the void. Hell, might as well go all the way. What was it the boy called him being a guardian? Wishful thinking? Not that Snape meant to eavesdrop, he simply overheard it and the line got stuck in his head. As far as he was concerned he already acted the part and Harry already accepted it. What more authority did he need than the one Potter entrusted him with himself? Besides, knowing Harry, he will be beating himself over it till something is done about it.

"Yes."

Harry felt his stomach do a flip flop. He hated that it came to this. But he was going to accept the punishment with as much decorum as he could muster.

"Al..Alright. N-Now?" he stammered, his voice breaking. He sounded like a scared child and he despised it.  _Man up Harry, for fuck's sake!_

Once Snape made up his mind about it, there was no reason to prolong it. The boy was already working himself up probably expecting to be beaten within an inch of his life. It wasn't a surprise given how badly Harry messed up. And Snape did intend to be harsher than normal, but definitely not cruel.

"Yes, get up," Snape ordered, his voice firm and unbending. Harry got off the bed, his legs wobbly, his heart rate picking up, his hands sweating. Seriously, he had faced a spanking before, he shouldn't be freaking out now. But then again, he has never seen Snape so furious before either.

Snape sat on the bed holding a hairbrush in his hand. Harry eyed the implement with worry. It didn't seem as bad as that horrible paddle, though.

"Over my knee," the man instructed sternly. Harry couldn't help a grimace, his face coloring with shame. He climbed back on the bed draping himself over Snape's knee, feeling humiliated. The position was as disgraceful as they come. He was 16 for fuck's sake. But he was not going to complain. He gripped the pillow, ready to bear through this punishment without uttering a sound.

His resolve flew out the window when he felt Snape grip his pajama bottoms and pull them down to mid thighs. "Oh Goood," he all but whined into the pillow, feeling every bit as mortified as when Snape did it the last time. "I really am too old for that," he groaned hiding his face in the pillow.

"I agree," Snape said simply and landed the first smack.

Oh, forget humiliation, this HURT! Harry jerked himself involuntarily, caught off-guard by the sharp sting of the wood hitting bare flesh. He gripped the pillow tighter, willing his body to remain in position as Snape started peppering his backside with the hairbrush.

Fuck! This was so much worse than the paddling, where Harry had time to process the pain of each blow. The intensity and pace that Snape picked up left absolutely no room for the pain to dissipate, building a neverending fire, that was simply impossible to withstand no matter how hard Harry tried. Too soon a first pitiful whimper left his lips and Snape took it as a sign to start lecturing.

"Honestly Potter, just when are you going to learn? We have been having this discussion about your temper time and time again. You cannot let your emotions rule you, no matter how angry or hurt you are," he scolded pausing his assault momentarily, letting Harry catch a breath.

"I'm trying," Harry replied struggling to keep his voice from sounding whiny.

"You should try harder, otherwise you will become a danger to everyone around you. This is serious Harry, you have a lot of power, it is imperative, that you are in control!" Snape told him sternly as he resumed the spanking.

Harry gritted his teeth, trying hard to keep from voicing his discomfort.  _God, it hurt._ Snape was really letting him have it.

"And what on Earth were you thinking using the spell you don't know while already in danger? Didn't we go over it, how important it is to only use spells you are confident in? We had this discussion when you tried to kill Bellatrix and I was sure, that this particular lesson did sink in. Well, apparently I was wrong!" Snape berated the boy, supporting his tongue lashing with sharp smacks, that went right through Harry's defenses.

"Stop struggling!" he lashed out when Harry started squirming, soft whimpers accompanying every swat.

"I can't!," Harry cried out in frustration, "You don't know how much this hurts!" he shot back, feeling the tears stinging his eyes. There went his decorum... he couldn't even take a spanking like a man.

"And you wouldn't either if you didn't do something so incredibly stupid!" Snape retorted harshly. He hated being so hard on the boy, but Harry was as stubborn as they come. And he needed to get through to him before he seriously bruised the boy. Harry's bottom was already bright red and Snape hated every minute this was going on. He lifted his knee a bit and targeted the boys sit-spots, landing a series of severe whacks to finally end this.

"Harry you almost killed someone today! I don't think I have ever been so disappointed in you!" And as usual, his mentor's disappointment was all it took to open the emotional floodgates and Harry started sobbing brokenly.

"I'm sorry!" he wept miserably, feeling every bit like a naughty child and hating himself for it.

Snape just kept spanking him, letting the boy cry it all out. Harry needed a stress release. And Severus was not going to stop till...

"I know I fucked up, please don't hate me," Harry choked out hiccuping.

Alright, scratch that. Snape threw away the brush and started rubbing the boy's back soothingly. "It's alright, it's over," he reassured the teen gently. He pulled Harry's pants back up, unable to look at the angry punished flesh, feeling horrible for being the one to do it. Damn Potter and his Gryffindor bravado, he wouldn't have to be nearly as harsh if the boy just let go sooner. "Calm down, I don't hate you. You took your punishment very well," Severus murmured, trying to offer the teen some comfort.

Harry pulled himself away from Snape's knees only to throw himself against the man's chest sobbing into his shoulder. Severus smiled softly, wrapping his hands around the distressed teenager.

"I'm sorry," Harry repeated sniveling into Snape's robes.

"You are forgiven, I'm not mad anymore," Severus replied, surprised at how much comfort he felt from the hug himself.

It took Harry another couple of minutes to calm down before he let go of Snape, feeling suddenly super awkward. Will he ever stop making a fool out of himself? Carrying on so over some stupid spanking. He stumbled back, almost falling from the bed, but Snape caught him in time. "Easy, Harry." The teenager avoided eye-contact and Snape felt the need to reassure himself that Potter was simply embarrassed and not resentful. "Are you alright?"

Harry chuckled, "I'll be fine. Though my butt would probably disagree," he reported, rubbing his backside with a wince. Snape really did a number on him.

"Well, that's between the two of you," Severus replied, failing to keep a straight face. He stood up and left the room to fetch the necessary aftercare. He returned with a vial and a bruise cream.

Snape put the bowl on the night table. "Use this, otherwise, you might bruise," he instructed and then handed Harry the vial, "And drink this."

Harry eyed the vial, "What's this?"

"Just a stronger calming draught, it will help you sleep too."

Harry drank the potion and grinned at Snape. "You know I'm not that bad at potions not to recognize the pain reliever you sneak in whenever you punish me," he said cheekily.

Severus raised an eyebrow, "One would hope you would be also smart enough not to point that out. I have a reputation to maintain."

"Your secret is safe with me," the boy promised with a smirk, crossing two fingers behind his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, not a walk in the park...but it should get better from here on^^


	22. Dilaceranti

Harry woke up before sunrise, he checked the clock and it was only 6:30 in the morning. It was Saturday, so he could totally sleep in for a change but he did go to sleep early yesterday and he wasn't sleepy anymore. He sat on the bed, his gaze falling on the bruise cream on the night table. He contemplated treating his butt to a second dose, but weirdly enough, he didn't feel the slightest bit of discomfort sitting. He almost felt pity, that it didn't hurt anymore. He would rather fidget on the chair whole morning making Snape feel bad about punishing him so harshly. But then again, who said, he couldn't do that anyway?

With a devilish grin, he went to take a morning shower, confirming once more in the mirror that his backside was as good as new. Feeling fresh, rested and in an uplifted mood he entered the living room, not surprised to see Snape already at the table. No matter how early Harry got up, the man always beat him to it.

"Morning," Harry said with a smile, making sure to keep it polite, but not too warm. If he intended to give Snape a bit of a hard time he had to play the part of a sulky teenager.

"Good morning, you are early today," Snape commented glancing from behind the newest issue of Daily Prophet.

"Couldn't sleep much," Harry admitted sheepishly. (I mean, lied blatantly, cause he actually slept like a baby). As he approached the table he saw all his breakfast favorites on the menu. Good, Snape was already on the guilt trip, so it's going to be a duck soup for Harry to play it out.

He eyed the chair with a slight hesitation and then sat down as he normally would, closing his eyes with a barely visible wince that would be hard to notice for anyone who isn't Snape. He couldn't be too dramatic about it, because then Snape would see right through him. So instead he pretended like he was hurting but too proud to let it show. Snape must have noticed because he set the newspaper aside and gave Harry an inquisitive look, that Harry pretended to ignore.

"How are you feeling?" Severus asked sipping on his coffee nonchalantly, but the rigidness of his moves gave away his worry.

Harry gave a small smile, just stiff enough to feel forced, "I'm fine, perhaps a bit tired," he answered and cast his eyes on the table as if trying to avoid eye contact. He glanced up again to check if Snape was buying it and sure enough the man had his lips pressed into a tight line betraying his anxiousness.  _Perfect! Just a little more._

Harry took a bite of the pancake that he richly drowsed in maple syrup and then very stealthily adjusted his weight on the seat, making the movement as subtle as possible.

Snape smashed the newspaper against the table, "Potter, you are still hurting!?"

"No," Harry denied shaking his head and returning his attention to his plate a bit too soon, to give the impression of insincerity.

"Don't lie to me! It's written all over your face! You and your stupid Gryffindor tendencies! If you are in pain you should come to me and..."

_Got ya._ Harry couldn't help the pleased grin spreading over his face at Snape's guilt-driven rant.

"What's funny?" the man asked noticing Harry's sudden amusement.

"You are too easy Snape," Harry replied with a chuckle.

Severus furrowed his brows in confusion.

"I really AM fine, you know," Harry confirmed, stuffing his mouth with a pancake looking Snape dead in the eye with a satisfied smirk.

"So what's with all the fidgeting?"

"Call it my  _Slytherin_  tendencies," Harry said smugly and then bent further over the table shielding his mouth conspiratorially, "I think you've just been played by a Gryffindor...Ouch," he whispered as he shook his hand in a pretend burn, mocking the hell out of Snape.

Severus narrowed his eyes dangerously letting Harry enjoy his short-lived moment of victory. "Oh, Potter, you picked the wrong target. Just you wait till I'm through with you today," he threatened menacingly.

"Bring it on!" Harry taunted with a grin.

* * *

#-&-HP-&-#

"Did you do the reading I assigned you last week?" Snape asked the boy just to make sure. Harry was always very diligent with the work Snape gave him, but given all the recent events he wouldn't be surprised if Harry never got to it.

"Of course," the teen confirmed not shifting attention from the Quidditch magazine he was reading while Snape finished grading some punishment essays he had given a couple of 3rd years he caught out of bed after curfew. Honestly, if Snape wasn't so anal about the rules and consequences, he wouldn't have nearly as much work. But pointing that out would probably only irritate the man, and Harry didn't want to ruin an otherwise pleasant morning.

"Good, and what do you think about it?"

Harry raised his eyes off the journal. Snape always quizzed him, but rarely asked for his opinion. "Well, I never really heard or seen anyone use Extrication Art before, and the book was rather vague on what is the reason to do it in the first place."

"Well, you are going to find out yourself," Snape replied watching Harry gape at him in shock.

"What?! 90% of the book was a description of how dangerous and addictive the whole thing is, and you want me to do it?" Harry exclaimed bewildered.

"Yes."

Harry frowned. There had to be more to it, otherwise, Snape wouldn't bring it up. "It's Dark Magic, Snape."

"Your point being?"

Harry eyed his mentor quizzically. Snape told him multiple times that eventually he will be forced to get his hands dirty, and although Harry's wasn't particularly keen on using Dark Arts, he knew that if he was to step up his game, he will have to. Besides he just cast Sectumsempra yesterday, so he kinda already crossed that bridge. "Alright."

"Let's go." Snape stood up from the table folding the papers into a neat pile. "And wear something warm, we are going outside and we are going to be there for a while."

They used a Portkey that landed them somewhere in the countryside in the middle of the field surrounded by hills and woods, no sign of civilization nearby. The weather was not pleasant, it wasn't raining but it was very chilly, the sun hiding behind a thick layer of clouds and the wind strong and biting, making Harry hunch forward for the protection of his Gryffindor scarf.

"Where are we?" the boy asked glancing around. There were no villages in the visible distance.

"Northern Scotland. Come," Snape answered curtly and without waiting for Harry, took off towards the woods at a fast pace. Harry had to jog to keep up with his mentor and he had a feeling it wasn't because they were in a hurry, but because Snape was simply cold.

They entered the forest and kept on the path for another 15 minutes before deviating away, strolling through a colorful carpet of fallen leaves. After another 5 minutes, Snape stopped abruptly in front of a tree, that looked every bit like all the others around. He cast a silent charm cracking a hole in the tree trunk and slipped his hand inside taking something small and round and hiding it in his pocket.

"Are you going to tell me what are we doing, or are you going to be all secretive about it?" Harry snapped with a tinge of annoyance when Snape didn't say a word and just turned around heading back to the path.

Severus ignored the question, he took out a polished purple gemstone from his pocket and handed it to Harry. The boy regarded the stone curiously, trying to remember the name of it.

"Do you know what it is, Potter?"

"An amethyst?"

"This one is actually tanzanite, but that's not the point, it's the Power Stone, fully loaded," Snape explained and seeing a look of confusion on Harry's face elaborated, "It's a container where you store you magic for future use, it's reusable and doesn't get destroyed by extrication."

Harry knew the book was omitting something important... Extrication was an act of sucking out the power from things, it was magic with a relatively simple mechanism but hard to master and according to the book, you get almost nothing except the addiction by doing it. Extricating living organisms supposedly required more power than what you got in return, so the whole thing felt useless because there were easier and faster ways to kill. The book was very vague on what happens if you extricate objects of power, but Harry could already guess that apart from getting a hell of a hit, you'd probably get plenty of magic too.

"Alright Potter, time to show you what exactly is extrication good for," Severus remarked with a pleased smile, taking the stone from Harry. He muttered a quiet incantation, fixing his eyes on the nearby rocky hill. Suddenly the ground under them started to tremor to the point that Harry had to grab a nearby tree for stability as he watched in utter horror as the hill in front of them started to split in two. With a terrifying deafening sound, the rocky mountain of at least 200 meters elevation tore itself apart in the middle leaving a meter gap between the two parts. Harry felt the need to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He had never seen such showmanship of power.

He gaped at Snape actually growing fearful of the man for the first time. Severus had a pleased smirk on his face, but it was different... it reminded Harry of Voldemort, his eyes were flashing, pupils dilated, skin tinted two shades darker. There was something terrifying in that expression - the usual calm and control replaced with a hunger for power.

Harry took a step back instinctively hitting the tree with his back. "Snape?" he called quietly when the ground stabilized again. He flinched when Snape turned to him, the crazed high on power eyes focusing on him. But the drugged expression disappeared the next second and Harry let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Holy shit... What the actual fuck was that?" Harry stammered, not caring that he was cursing as he looked at the forever changed landscape, wondering how is something like this going to be hidden from muggle attention. Snape just fucking split the mountain in two.

"The appeal of Dark Magic," Severus said simply.

"Alright, I'm sold. Which mountain do I tear apart?" Harry replied with a grin.

Snape shook his head. "None. You will work on getting this thing charged again, and trust me, it's way less fun."

"Why?" Harry furrowed his brows with suspicion.

"You have been under Cruciatus before right? Well, this feels quite similar. You will be depriving every cell of your body of its magic... and that hurts."

"Alright, I can do it," Harry agreed readily.

"I wonder if you will keep on this excitement in 5 minutes," Snape remarked with an evil smirk. He handed Harry the stone back, it was a dark purple color, almost black. "The spell is  _Dilaceranti,_  it's a channeling spell, you have to keep focus, the important is the intent to part with a piece of your magic. It sounds easier than it is because it leaves you feeling vulnerable. It hurts enough to prevent you from depleting your core, but even if you did, I have potions for that. Give it a try."

Harry took the stone trying to set his mind like he was just placing something in the closet for future use as he whispered the incantation. He gasped as the strong pull started sucking out his magic core, for a second he only felt the pull of the invisible strings attached to every cell in his body, and next second the strings started to snap sending surges of pain from everywhere at once. He cried out and fell on his knees, dropping the stone on the ground. As soon as he lost his focus the sensation was gone.

"Bloody hell," Harry exhaled getting up on his feet again. He grabbed the fallen stone and noticed that it didn't change in color at all. "It doesn't look charged," he observed glancing at Snape.

"That's because it's not. You will be doing it for at least a week before you fill it maybe to a quarter capacity. It's a painful process and not exactly an even exchange. But you will get better over time."

"Sounds like a lot of torture."

"Indeed," Snape confirmed with a self-satisfied sneer. "Go on."

Harry realized that Snape was going to get even for the morning, taking sadistic pleasure in Harry's torture. But despite this unfortunate side-effect, Harry knew that was not what they were doing here. So he clenched the stone with determination and tried again. This time he was prepared for the pull and for the snap and subsequent pain. He lasted a good 20 seconds before the pain became too much and he lost his focus again. This time he felt oddly depleted, weak and raw, his body ached as if from the strenuous training. And the feeling was not going away.

"I don't like this," he stated hoarsely.

"You did quite well actually. I think you have a couple more tries in you," Severus replied leaning against a nearby tree with arms crossed on his chest.

_And I think you should go fuck yourself,_ Harry thought, suddenly growing very irritated. It surprised him because normally he would be beaming at Snape after hearing praise and encouragement.

"Why am I mad?" he asked Snape bewildered.

"Your body is weakened and vulnerable, anger is a common coping mechanism," Severus clarified.

"Then you better not hold me responsible for whatever I say," Harry grumbled not at all mollified by the explanation.

"Nice try, Potter. But you will be held responsible for everything you say because I expect you to control yourself."

If looks could kill... "Are you trying to rile me up?" Harry demanded glaring daggers at Snape.

"No Potter, I'm treating you like an adult, that you will be in a couple of months. And you should know by now that feeling angry is never an excuse for acting out. So get a grip and keep going."

"Did I age overnight? Because you sure as hell didn't treat me like  _an adult_  yesterday," Harry retorted angrily.

"If you are going to sulk now, we might as well wrap it up and go back. Perhaps you are too young to do this kind of magic after all," Snape replied evenly and took out the Portkey.

"No, wait. I'm sorry," Harry backed off immediately. "I don't know why I brought that up," he added, his cheeks coloring. "I'll try again."

With that, he cast another Dilaceranti and braced himself for the pain. He gripped the nearby tree and kept channeling, it was just as painful as the first time, but he was motivated to prove to Snape he was not too young nor too weak and he knew how to control himself. His forehead got covered with sweat, his muscles ached from trying to keep himself upright, his face grew hot from pain and exertion, but his determination trumped it all.

Snape watched the boy with awe that soon turned to concern when Potter kept his focus for over a minute. That was too long for anyone, let alone somebody who never did it before. Severus gripped Harry's shoulder and shook him, throwing off his concentration. "Potter, enough!"

"Wha...?" Harry exclaimed startled, then his eyes shot at Snape angrily, "Why did you do that?! I had it!"

Snape conjured a mirror and held it to the boy's face. "Look at yourself! You were about to burst."

Harry looked at his reflection startled to see his red sweaty face and bloodshot eyes. Seeing himself looking like such a mess, and feeling even worse only channeled his fury. "So what is it now? I do exactly what you want me to, and it's wrong again?!"

Snape only shook his head, unwilling to argue with the irate teenager. He pulled out the Portkey and without further discussion grabbed Harry by the elbow and activated it bringing them both back to Snape's living room.

"That's it?!" Harry demanded furiously, almost stomping his foot in exasperation.

Severus ignored the attitude. "Yes Harry, that's it. Look at the stone, there is at least 10% there. You did way more than I expected in one day and you are definitely done for today. Good job."

Harry got more praise than he usually got out of Snape in a week of training, and yet he still had a hard time appreciating it, feeling frustrated and on edge.

Severus resisted an urge to smile. "Stop fuming, here." He thrust a cup of hot chocolate in Harry's hands.

"What's this?" the boy asked, eyeing the hot chocolate with suspicion.

"Something to improve your mood."

"Since when do you care about my mood?" Harry grumbled sourly.

Severus actually chuckled at Harry's petulance. "I don't. I care about mine. And you keep affecting it."

That won Harry over and he accepted the peace offering with a small smile of his own. The hot cup warmed Harry's frozen fingers while the sweet taste was apparently just what he needed to let go of unpleasant lingering emotions. Sitting on the couch in front of a fireplace with a cup of hot chocolate he felt cozy and nice.

"So when do I get to try extrication?" he asked Snape, who joined him with a cup of tea.

"When you fill the stone a bit more. The power gives you a hit, it's a pleasant euphoric feeling that is highly addictive. That's why you should understand the dangers and never attempt to do it on your own."

"But I can extricate anything right? It doesn't have to be the Power Stone."

Severus shook his head. "You can, but you will not. Using your own power is the safest way to do it. Because whatever object or organism you extricate will leave an impact on you."

"What kind of impact?" Harry wondered, stifling a yawn.

"The dark objects contain a lot of power, but using such power does convert you... and we already have one Dark Lord," Severus replied with a serious expression. "You should take a nap," he added watching the boy fight against his shutting eyelids.

"What?" Harry objected looking almost offended at the suggestion.

"Potter, adults take naps too," Severus replied rolling his eyes at Harry's dramatics. "You look exhausted and you should be. Let your body rest. You can do it here if you want to."

"Alright," Harry succumbed, not fighting a yawn anymore, he lay down on the sofa and watched Snape pull out a blanket from the cabinet. "Are you going to tuck me in too?" he asked with a cheeky grin.

Snape snorted and threw the blanket at the daring teenager hitting him square in the face eliciting a hearty laugh out of his target. "Brat, why do I put up with you?"

Harry covered himself with a blanket still sniggering, "Because you like me."

Severus didn't argue with that statement.


	23. It goes both ways

Harry woke up to the sound of someone sneezing in the background. The fleeting feeling of disorientation dissipated as his eyes set on the fireplace in front of him. Right, Snape's quarters, the nap. And Snape was right, he actually felt way better now. He was still a bit achy but the anger and vulnerability from earlier were gone. Harry sat up stretching his arms lazily when Snape sneezed the second time.

"You alright?" Harry asked, observing the man with concern.

The mild irritation crossed Snape's face, "Potter, I know it's hard to believe, but I am actually a human. I sneeze," he spat sarcastically. "Sorry for waking you," he added in a milder tone.

"It's fine. I have stuff to do, anyway. Gonna pay Malfoy a visit," Harry said folding the blanket and placing it on the arm of the sofa.

Severus frowned, "I'm not sure it's the best course of action."

"It is. You told me to manage him, and that's what I'm going to do," Harry replied with a determined expression.

Snape raised an eyebrow ready to inquire how exactly is Potter going to manage him, but then decided to let the teen handle Malfoy on his own. "Fair enough," he relented returning his attention to whatever work he was doing.

* * *

#-&-HP-&-#

The castle felt deserted, most of the students were either in the library or in the common rooms studying. Hospital Wing was empty and dark save for one room that had a light on. Harry hoped that Malfoy was the only resident because late November was the time of the year when people frequently came down with flu, and Harry needed privacy. But he was in luck, the blond was alone, lying down leisurely covered with books on Transfiguration.

"Potter! You have some balls coming in here!" Draco spat hatefully when he noticed Harry standing by the entrance.

Harry cast a quick privacy charm just in case and the gesture unnerved the blond greatly. "Madam Pomfrey is nearby, don't think you can get away with anything," Malfoy hissed, grabbing his wand from the table.

"Relax Malfoy, I'm here to call a truce," Harry replied sitting nonchalantly on the chair by the bed, but Draco remained tense.

"Are you afraid I will hurt you, Potter?" he sneered.

Harry chuckled shaking his head as if amused that Malfoy thought such thing even possible. He needed to appear confident. "No, dickhead, I'm not afraid of you. But I don't want my friends or myself to constantly look over my shoulder waiting for you to retaliate."

"And what? You are going to threaten me again?" the Slytherin demanded in a mocking tone. Last time Malfoy found himself in Hospital Wing was when Harry blew up his desk during DADA. The day after the incident Harry came to apologize and ended up making death threats instead.

"No Malfoy, you proved to be slow on the uptake. So next time it won't be me who lands you in a Hospital Wing," Harry remarked with a smirk that could rival Snape's at his best. "Tomorrow I'm going to call Daily Prophet and give an exclusive interview relating how I was attacked in school by a Death Eater from the esteemed Malfoy family. And then proceed to describe how you disarmed me and wanted to torture me and then almost bled to death on the floor."

Malfoy frowned. "I will deny everything, no one is gonna believe you, Potter."

Harry graced him with a self-satisfied snicker. "But you see, that's the beauty of it. I don't need anyone to believe me. After I say something along the lines, how Voldemort's followers lost any class since they can't even defeat a disarmed wizard, your Dark Lord is going to be questioning you himself," Harry replied derisively watching the color drain from the blond's face. "I don't know how Voldemort punishes weakness, but I can guess how furious he is going to be after he is publicly mocked because of it."

Draco was white as death and Harry could guess that whatever punishments Voldemort employed, it was definitely more terrifying than anything Harry could threaten Malfoy with himself.

"What do you want, Potter?" the Slytherin inquired through gritted teeth.

"I told you. Truce. You, your friends or anyone else will NOT take any action against me or my friends. I don't care if you need to keep your hateful pretense in public, but you do not retaliate in any manner. I don't want to see you or hear from you."

"Fine," Draco grumbled, his expression irritated but honest.

"Good," Harry nodded getting up. "Oh, almost forgot. Here," he took out a green apple from his pocket and put it on Malfoy's bed.

The look of confusion crossed the blond's features. "What is it?" he asked baffled.

"An apple. Heard you like them," Harry replied with a stupid grin and then turned on his heel and walked towards the exit. He stopped by the door frame and glanced back to watch the puzzled Slytherin examine the apple disconcertedly. "And one more thing, Malfoy. I'm sorry. I actually didn't mean to hurt you. I was mad and I lost it. I don't expect you to accept the apology, but I'm sorry nonetheless."

Harry didn't wait for Draco to reply and left the Hospital Wing. He was rather proud of himself for managing to do both things - threaten Malfoy into compliance and apologize. He still hated the blond dickhead to the core. Not only the prat was making his life harder for 6 years straight, but now he also took away his girlfriend. Harry abhorred Malfoy with every fiber of his body, but none of that mattered, because Harry crossed the line and he did need to apologize.

Harry was so deep in thought he almost missed Nalanell, who was undoubtedly on a way to visit her new boyfriend. Harry felt the familiar pang of knife twisting in his chest, but he ignored it, he needed to let go and move on. He forced his eyes to look away and they passed each other without a word. Harry felt a horrible sense of loss and he closed his eyes painfully as he kept walking.

"You're an idiot, Potter." Nalanell's angry voice made Harry stop. He took a deep breath willing not to lose his shit this time, as he turned to face her.

"Maybe. But at least I'm not a coward," he replied calmly with a sad half-smile.

Nala's eyes flashed with indignation. "How dare you call me a coward! I deal with Voldemort while keeping your stupid secrets. And what do you do?" she hissed quietly.

"I don't hide from my feelings," Harry answered watching Nell lose her composure, her features softening. He waited for her to say something, but she remained quiet, looking lost for a change. Harry felt disappointed but not surprised. He only shook his head and turned ready to walk away. But before he could take another step he felt a small body flung at him, hugging him from behind, two hands wrapping around his chest tightly.

"I'm sorry!" the girl cried into his back squeezing Harry tighter. "The thing with Malfoy is not real. It's all an act forced on us by our parents," she explained frantically, her breath catching up as if afraid, that Harry will not want to listen and will try to break away. "I should have told you right away. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you!"

Harry felt the wound on his chest patching up, a warm feeling spreading over his body. He had no doubt, that Nell was telling the truth because she would never hug him by herself this way. The tight grip and frantic rant only proved what Harry knew all along. She had feelings for him. But Harry was not going to go easy on her this time.

He turned to face her, "You never meant to hurt me? Why? I thought there is nothing between us?"

"I'm apologizing!" she exclaimed scandalized that Harry would force her to eat her own words.

"And it's not what I want to hear," he replied coldly. "Do you have feelings for me?"

Nalanell blushed and turned her head away. Harry put a finger under her chin and forced her to look up. "None of that. I let you hide behind your little pretentious act for far too long."

"I do," she admitted lowering her gaze down to his chest.

"You do what?" he pressed not letting her get away with it the easy way.

"I love you," she blurted looking straight into his eyes with a tinge of defiance. Harry watched her for a couple of seconds and Nalanell licked her dry lips nervously. Harry's mouth twitched and then stretched into a pleased grin.

"Potter! If you don't say it back RIGHT NOW I swear I..." she didn't finish it because Harry once more reclaimed her mouth with his in a hungry passionate kiss. Oh, how he missed her soft lips and her unique earthy floral scent, utterly intoxicating. Her small body so perfect, so responsive. Damn, he wanted to do things to her right here right now... but hopefully, there will be time for all that... before everything goes to shit.

"God, I missed you," Harry breathed out against her lips, cupping her face with his hands and looking into her dark grey eyes.

"I missed you too, Harry," Nell admitted with a soft shy smile, then grew serious again, "But if you don't confess right now, I will punch you again!" she threatened halfheartedly.

"What a scary little Death Eater," he teased her with an impish smirk.

"Potter!"

"I love you," Harry told her gently as he brushed her cheek and then continued kissing her making up for the weeks of lost time.

* * *

#-&-HP-&-#

Harry didn't remember when was the last time he felt so good. Things were finally working out for him and for the first time since Sirius' death he felt like there is hope. He can do this. He can defeat Voldemort and he will have a life worth living after. He spent the evening with Ron and Hermione studying... because Hermione wouldn't let them do anything else with all the tests approaching. And Harry didn't mind, he told his friends all about Nalanell, and Sectumsempra and Half-Blood Prince and how Snape is going to give him the textbook back. And even offered Hermione to take a peak, now that Snape will rectify all the possible mistakes and likely scratch out any potential dangerous spells.

Snape was missing at dinner, and Harry assumed, that the man was swarmed with preparation for the tests. They were both on a tight schedule because they spent a lot of time on training. And honestly, Harry shouldn't go and bother the man, when he is already so busy... but Harry wanted to share his euphoria with his mentor. Snape said, that Harry's mood affects his, so perhaps he could infect him with some cheerfulness for a change.

As expected, Harry found Snape writing something furiously by his desk, but the man didn't look well. He looked very tired, his skin flushed, his eyelids heavy. He was surrounded by papers and there was a slight shiver running through him when Harry entered the room. Snape didn't even notice him.

"Snape?" Harry called out, watching the man with concern.

Severus jerked and hit the pile of papers sending them flying to the ground. Harry rushed to collect the papers using his hands as well as quick wandless magic, while Snape only rested his head against his hands with a sigh, fighting the ongoing headache.

"You are overworking yourself. You don't look well," Harry told the man seriously.

"I have to finish this for Monday," Severus replied curtly, returning his attention to the papers.

"You have tomorrow for that."

"I won't have time tomorrow, I have potion work to do for Madam Pomfrey, Lupin and..." Snape cut off remembering something, he jumped from his seat to go and check on the necessary ingredients in the lab, but the fast movement made him dizzy and he lost his balance falling on Harry. Harry having his reflexes trained on a daily basis, caught him just in time.

"Whoah. Alright, you are definitely done for today."

Severus frowned with irritation. "Potter..."

But Harry was not going to back down, he touched Snape's forehead and had his suspicions confirmed. "You are burning up!"

"I'm fine," Snape snapped with annoyance. He tried to move past Harry to the lab but the teenager blocked his way.

"No, you are not. You have a fever," Harry argued resting his hands on hips.

"I'll take something for it after I'm done," Severus replied tiredly. Why did Potter have to be so fussy?!

"No. You are taking something now and you are going to bed. The tests can wait, and I'm sure Slughorn can manage the potion work."

Severus pressed his lips into a tight angry line, "Potter, what exactly makes you think, you can order me around?!"

"You can do as I say, or I'm going to fetch Madam Pomfrey and good luck getting out of Hospital Wing in the next couple of days," Harry replied evenly.

"Are you threatening me?!"

"Yes, I am. Stop being difficult for god's sake!" Harry cast a quick diagnostic spell on his mentor. "38,3°C! You still wanna argue with me?"

Snape scowled at the teen, then suddenly sneezed again and sighed with defeat. "Fine," he grunted and made his way to the bedroom. Harry walked next to him, wrapping his hand around Snape's waist for stability.

"Potter, I'm perfectly capable of walking!" the man snapped crossly.

Harry rolled his eyes in irritation but didn't let go. Snape was simply impossible when sick. "You just fell on me. I'm making sure, you don't faint on the way."

Snape didn't argue anymore. He sat on the bed and started unbuttoning the gazillion buttons on his robes. Harry reached out to help and Severus caught his wrist giving Harry a deadly glare. "You are NOT undressing me, Potter!"

"Fine, but if you are not done in 3 minutes I'm helping you!" Harry relented leaving the room. He went to the lab to find the Pepperup Potion. Thankfully Snape had his lab in the same anal retentiveness as everything else in his quarters, so finding the correct potion based on alphabetical order was easy. He called the house-elves and asked them to brew some herbal tea against cold, then armed with a teapot and several vials returned back to Snape's bedroom.

Fortunately, Snape was in bed, his forehead covered in sweat, his eyes already closed. Harry grabbed the black robes from the floor and folded them neatly on the chair. He handed Severus the potion helping him up to drink it.

"You should drink another one in a couple of hours. Meanwhile, here," Harry said handing his mentor the herbal tea, "I'm not sure if it'll help to get rid of the taste, but you need to keep hydrated."

Snape finally managed a small tired smile. "Thank you."

Harry then went to the bathroom, drenched a small towel in cold water, spin-dried it and returned to the bedroom.

Severus eyed the towel suspiciously, "What's that?"

"Muggle remedy. It will feel nice, I promise," the boy reassured him and placed the cloth on his burning forehead. Severus exhaled closing his eyes with relief.

Harry grinned watching the peaceful expression on Snape's face. He grabbed some Potions journal from the table and climbed on the armchair by the bed getting comfy with his legs crossed on it.

"You don't have to babysit me, Potter," Severus complained, but it lacked the usual bark. Harry was pretty sure, that Snape was glad to have him there and was protesting just for the sake of it.

"You really are a horrible patient, you know? Stop whining and rest," Harry replied turning the towel upside down to renew the cooling effect.

Severus closed his eyes and smiled with contentment. He will get back at Potter for the "whining" comment later. But for now, it was nice to feel cared for, for a change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Be Continued eventually;)
> 
> I think we reached another relatively satisfying point to put the story on hiatus. I ran out of plot bunnies that plagued my mind, so I'm giving it a rest to focus on other stories. I have like 3 original ones, one Suits fanfic and HP ongoing one I want to write, so I don't know when I'm coming back to this one.  
> But don't worry, I'm not abandoning the story, there is still plenty to tell - Harry is yet to become badass, get laid, get a family, defeat Voldemort, not necessarily in this order^^  
> ___  
> PS: Drapple FTW;DD thumbs up to those who got the reference;)


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